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OT: share your government secrets here


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  • OT: share your government secrets here

    I'm not affiliated with the FBI. I promise. Really.

    I'm just interested in what sorts of top secret information you resourceful fellers have managed to unearth.

    I won't inform on anybody. Promise. Cross my heart. Why don't you believe me??
    "I had a cat named Snowball
    She died! She died!
    Mom said she was sleeping
    She lied! She lied!"

  • #2
    2 parts tonic
    1 part Gin


    • #3
      The government is EFFICIENT!!!

      What A Secret!!
      A Real Govt Secret!!

      Like we're waging war on Iraq for OIL!!
      Like the Bush Tax Cut will BALLOON the Budget Defecit.

      Like GB's daughters put out for McFly

      Like uh,... whew, things got a little bit away from me there.

      But I'm OK NOW!!!

      Your mind is a terrible place to store important information.

      Pix & Music at


      • #4
        well... my Pakastani neighbors (rotating group 15 or so at any given time) have this huge mound of garbage piled up against their house...whenever it gets windy, their junk blows into my yard.

        ...I now know, that over the last two years, they've been paying all their bill with money orders.

        ...take it for what you will.


        • #5
          SHSSSHHHH ! ! !


          • #6
            If you say "Yes sir" and remark how unfair it seems that a police officer has to get out of their warm, dry car to approach you after you go through a stop sign, he is bound by law to let you off with a warning.


            • #7
              In May, a rogue planet will careen through the solar system, causing the earth to stop rotating for 48-72 hours; then, as rotation starts again, it will create a new axis; therefore, the North and South poles will re-locate to currently tropical regions.

              The resulting earthquakes, tidal waves, and environmental havoc will result in the death of 95% of the world's population.

              The government knows this, and they're not doing a damn thing about it!!!

              ... there's more guitar content and less annonymous cowards grinding their axes ...


              • #8
                I have aqquired some top secret government technology, it began early design during Clintons first term in office, apparently in step with his "Dont Ask, Dont Tell" policy.

                A small, handheld device resembling the radar gun in use by police, it has been developed and dubbed "The Gaydar", under the top secret government program of the same name. It is used to determine the sexual orientation of the person/persons it is pointed at, without detection by the recipient. After perusing the plans, it was clearly a clever way for the Clinton administration to make campaign promises he clearly wouldnt keep, and still keep the military brass happy.

                I worked with NervePoet, who burned the midnight oil, unbeknowst to his employer, utilizing the cutting edge hardware development tools at his disposal, and he came up with his brilliant "Hard Drive Fractionation Flux Inductance Ionization Device", which led to the highly complex "Nominally Optimized Fractionation Aqquisition Ganomlyzing Suppositizer ", (or "NOFAGS") to be used in conjunction with the Gaydar.

                Myself and Nervepoet have been collectively waiting for a thread like this, to introduce this new device, the Gaydar and the NOFAGS units operating together as planned.

                The premise of the NOFAGS is simple. It tunes the radiation from a computer monitor thru the Gaydar, and the NOFAGS unit can determine the sexual orientaion of the person who posted on a message board, such as HCVF, no matter how old the post.

                AHEM. I am about to try it for the first time. I shall choose a post at random (closes eyes and points at screen)

                Smokey it is, then.

                I tune the Gaydar and the NOFAGS unit, point at the moniter with Smokeys post and pull the trigger.......

                (thump)The Horrer!! THE HORRER!!!!! The Horrer!!



                • #9
                  The Whorer The Whorer, that old Smoke!
                  Your mind is a terrible place to store important information.

                  Pix & Music at