Morrocon Pie based on a Bob Dylan song

[SergioLeone]

I recorded this song based on Bob Dylan's song I'm not there (I was inspired by it's tempo and melody but the lyrics are my own).

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EG6bhTgOC3g&feature=related

 

I have a few pronunciation (or perhaps enunciation would be more correct). I wasn't actively trying to sing in head voice but I would guess it sounds more in head voice? It sounds a bit weak.

 

Please let me know what you think about the singing? Any thoughts on how to improve?

 

Take care!

 

http://www.box.net/shared/gjru12rqtv1es6celv3o

 

Lyrics:

 

Morrocon Pie

 

 

and her hair waves wildly in the wind

like the sails, of a ship in a storm that hails

its arrival on the shore

 

 

and i wanna get tangled and lost in that mess

which hangs loose past her collarbone and looks

as thin as her dress

 

 

and the mattresses are thin, and the floor is cold

but she keeps me warm through the night and keeps at bay of what's in store

 

 

and i'm drenched in her fear, cause i kept her close at night

and it tastes like the broken plight of lonely childrens' sighs

 

 

and i cry clutching my pillow like a child

cause i miss, how her gown would brush against the floor

of my helplessness

 

 

my ghost-hearted mistress she now lives in my tongue

she won't do me no wrong she won't do me no harm