I need you (work in progress)

[Rcpd0715]

Hey guys, here is a very rough version of a new song I'm working on...please let me know what you think.

 

 

this is actually my newest newest version (12-17-15) with some changes

 

 

https://soundcloud.c...you-new-version

 

 

 

 

 

I need you

 

I'm alone, It's dark in here

Where are you, there's so much fear

I don't know what to do

Help me God, I need you

 

Help me up, hear my shout

Be my light, guide me out

I need your strength, I need your love

I tried myself, it's not enough

 

 

Pre-chorus:

You are with me

Everything's okay

You're behind me

Nothing can get in my way

 

Chorus:

I was alone

But you found me

You stood me up

from my knees

I needed you

You set me free

 

 

I hear your voice, feel you near

My hand is out, there goes my fear

Here we go, we're headed out

I see a light, there goes my doubt

 

Calmness comes, it feels me up

It's warm here now, there's so much love

It's amazing, I'm with you

I'm not alone, I have you

 

Pre-chorus repeat

 

Chorus repeat

 

 

I needed you, you set me free (several times to the end)

[highmtn]

@Rcpd0715,

 

It's sounding good, overall. Personally, I think the chorus needs a little more direction. It's not bad, but maybe you should just play the chords and hum the melody and see if maybe you can make it turn around a little more logically...? It kind of hangs there a little. Seriously, I'm not being critical, I just think that chordally or melodically it could use a little turn there in about the third line of the main chorus. See if maybe you might want to adjust that ever-so-slightly.

 

Bob

[Rcpd0715]

@Rcpd0715,

 

It's sounding good, overall. Personally, I think the chorus needs a little more direction. It's not bad, but maybe you should just play the chords and hum the melody and see if maybe you can make it turn around a little more logically...? It kind of hangs there a little. Seriously, I'm not being critical, I just think that chordally or melodically it could use a little turn there in about the third line of the main chorus. See if maybe you might want to adjust that ever-so-slightly.

 

Bob

 

i agree with you Bob, I am gonna try to change it up a bit, thank you for the response!