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Need to improve SOON ... help ! (wedding performance)


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So , my best friend is getting married... and being the best man, he asked me to sing a dedication song.

I have TERRIBLE stage fright. It's reaaaally bad. I've been wanting to perform at open mics for a couple of years now, and never mustered the courage to do it.

 

And now, thinking about the wedding... having 200 people watching me, it's freaking me out... but I digress...

 

I am gonna try to do it cause I love him and wanna be a great best man... so any help/critique that will improve my singing soon will be greatly appreciated!!!

I've attached a link of my singing.

 

I wanna sound the best I can, please help!

 

https://soundcloud.com/speed-stick-119841421/samplemp3

 

Thank you in advance!!!

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Hi. Could you upload your audio on a streaming music service? It's part of the forum's rules.

(http://www.harmonycentral.com/forum/forum/VocalsLiveSound/acapella-119/31116489-please-read-forum-rules-guidelines)

 

Also because I can't seem to be able to download the file...

 

Thanks! Cheers! Looking forward to hearing your work.

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How soon is the wedding? Stage fright is very real and you can't overcome it in a short time. Have you discussed your fear with your best friend? He may not be aware of it, and I'll bet he'd be just fine with you doing something easier like a toast. There's no reason you should have to sweat this from now until the wedding (can you tell I've got the same phobia?), which will ruin the experience for you. Your best friend is getting hitched, and you should be able to enjoy it too.

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*Excellent* video. I could feel all the symptoms as he was describing them! I'm reminded of one of Jerry Seinfeld's standups...he relates that a poll determined that people had a greater fear of public speaking than of dieing. "So basically, at a funeral you'd rather be *in* the casket than outside it giving the eulogy".

 

Yep.

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I've had it all of my life, ever since I played violin in orchestra at my first school concert which was packed to capacity. I also did solo acoustic a few years later at a talent show and my hands totally froze up half way through. Hearing that silence when you play and the applause afterwards can be an extreme experience especially if you aren't used to it.

 

Playing live is addictive. I usually don't have butterflies after the first few songs any more since I been doing it so long but its still there. You have a few choices in dealing with the anxiety. You can let it turn inward and harm you or you can focus it into your performance and make it work for you. This energy when properly tapped can give a performer what seems to be like super powers allowing him to play things you could never do otherwise.

 

There are actual medical reasons for this. It all deals with fear generating hormones and dopamine's. When primitive man heard a lightening bolt or a wind animals growl, his system would respond. all of his hearing, sight and senses would become elevated by the adrenalin rush. He'd be less susceptible to physical pain and his muscles are fed all the power the brain can generate.

 

Learning to control these effects can only be done while you're actually experiencing them. You can talk about them all you want but your memory wont help you much. When you're in that mode its all here and now and you're focused on the feeling overwhelming you more then what's going on around you.

 

Its takes allot of effort to ignore and override that feeling of anxiety you feel when it occurs. Proper training doesn't not come fast nor does it come easy. People do feel it in varying degrees however. Some people have less fear of other people. I've tried to figure it out for years and I've narrowed it down to them being less vain and worried about their personal appearance. They are tuned to the good will of people and don't see a crowd as an angry mob out to get their blood, they see the crowd as sharing a mutual love of the music and use the music as an intermediate method of sharing that love. You often find this in A type personalities, but even they have to be careful in how they focus this energy.

 

Stage fright has destroyed many great musicians. Respect its power and use it wisely. You cant ignore it and hop it will go away. You must go through the entire process experiencing it. Some people have bad side effects. If they are physically out of shape and their heart rate soars you can get shaky legs and even become faint.

 

Only advice I have is to focus on your breathing. Allot of peoples breath becomes shallow which only intensifies the effect. The effects is automatic and breathing is automatic. When you focus on breathing smoothly, the effects of the adrenalin rush on your heart rate and breathing also normalize. The mind clears and you can physically function. You can try doing an good physical workout the morning before your perform. The adrenalin rush would simply make you feel fairly normal.

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What I normally do for any performance, especially with multiple songs, I put the easiest song first.

 

The easiest song should be a song that you can sing comfortably and can treat as a warm up. I usually use something that uses my entire chest voice range so I can get into my singing voice.

 

Before a performance, you should do a warm up exercise. Go up and down the scale, chromatically and hold each note for 3 seconds each.

 

For my stage fright, what I do is take some calcium pills and drink a small amount of wine. It may not work for everyone. I just do it cause it keeps me calmer and relaxed. If you do the wine, make sure to drink a glass of water before so you are hydrated since wine dehydrates your vocal chords.

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Stage fright can have many reasons. In my opinion, the main ways to overcome it is to 1) know the song material well 2) warm-up your voice 3) be confident (and also realistic) with your abilities 4) don't put too much focus on the outcome and focus more on the energy of the moment and 5) have the intention of wanting to be heard and seen

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The best advice I can give is to practice the song until you puke! It won't necessary get rid of the stage fright, but if you can do the song on autopilot there is a big chance that the fright won't affect the performance. And one more advice, practice breathing exercise to relax.

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