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    ok so check it out... i don't know if i am looking for advice or what, but i just wanted to post this to get some feedback. a few months ago, i was totally heartbroken. this woman that i was dating and planning to be "the one" broke up with me and totally crushed me. i was devistated, never been hurt that bad before. i couldn't work, couldn't play in my band. i was a wreck... it was horrible.

    eventually, i got over it... like i always do. i haven't thought about it much for the past few months. well, it turns out that she told her sister(a good friend of mine) that she thinks that she regrets breaking up with me and i was really important to her. knowing that, i was kind of interested, but hesitant at the same time.

    she and i started conversing about a week ago and have talked a bit a few times. i told her how much she hurt me and she has been incredibly apologetic. it's all good. but i'm torn on what to do. all of my friends and family say to stay away, but they aren't in the situation with me. i really thought i was going to marry her.

    what should i do?

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  • #2
    Sodomize her and kick her to the curb.

    Whatever you have to do to come out with the upper hand.


    • #3
      As much as it will hurt I think you should not start it up...because there is always that chance that she will go ahead and crush you again. Save yourself the heartache and move on.

      Of course you could totally disregard what I just said and tell me to go screw myself.
      XT Brotherhood


      • #4
        Boink her sister.
        No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.


        • #5
          relationships -- like airplanes -- have baggage limits.

          too much baggage, and it ain't gonna take off again (w/o the peril of a flamey, no-survivors-type crash).

          let it be, sir.


          • #6
            Figure out why she dumped you in round one. If you can resolve that, give it a try. If not, move on.

            I tried to reconcile with my divorced wife. .. but as much as we cared for each other, thee's no way I was going to live with an unrecovering alcoholic. She's found someone new and seems to be happy. I'm happier too. It worked out.
            "he illiteracy level of our children are appalling." — George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004

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            • #7
              I think both of you are on the right track in resolving the issue because it sounds like you both are speaking of your feelings.
              give it more time. she may be sincere or messed up. you would know best how she operates on a day to day basis. that's where you find the tell.
              your feelings are yours. it was good to let her know what those were after she left.
              keep talking, but dont make long term plans just yet. just because she is rueful and your feelings are strong for her doesnt mean it is meant to be.
              relationships take constant work if they are to last. individuals grow all the time. (I hope so). sometimes couples d grow apart. sometimes couples grow together.
              keep talking. but if she wants you back the onus is on her to earn your trust.
              relax. breathe. and have patience. ( the last one sucks, I know).


              • #8
                pre-marital counseling will do you wonders, even if you don't plan on getting married.
                It will help you both get over whatever reservations you may have about being in a commited relationship together.
                If you end up getting married after counseling, you'll both be stronger for it.
                If you don't end up getting married and split up, you'll both still be better educated for future relationships.

                my $.02
                My name is Dave and I play guitar.


                • #9
                  More likely than not, the same issues that your relationship had before will once again rear their ugly head in time. Sure, you'd probably be ecstatic at first, but in the end, most of the time, it'll turn out exactly like it did the first time and then you'll be all heartbroken again.

                  I went through the same thing for about 5 years in high school and college. This girl I started dating my senior year of high school. She was the only thing I could think about. I loved her so bad it hurt. She dumped me shortly before I graduated. I was devastated. I never did stop wanting her. Finally, a couple of years later, we got back together. We were extremely happy together for about 6 months. I thought that we'd spend the rest of our lives together. Then, one day, it was over. She didn't really come out and dump me, but she pretty much made it clear that she didn't really want to be with me, so I walked away. It was that last time that I realized that we would never be together and I finally moved on with my life. I got to have some fun my last year and a half of college, and in my last semester, I actually met the girl who would become my wife.

                  Now, I still think about the other girl occasionally, but instead of longing for her, I feel stupid for having wasted so much of my life on her.

                  [/sob story]
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                  • #10
                    i wouldn't do it, as much as itis gonna SUCK.

                    you'll always be paranoid she'll leave you again.

                    im sorry dude, but you live in NYC, there's like 10 million single women there. you'll find someone better.



                    • #11
                      Nothing lasts forever really. Its sad but true, that she probably only regrets leaving you because shes never found anyone better since even though shes tried.

                      Everyone is always after the BBD instead of being grateful of what they have, and people never want things till they can't or don't have them anymore

                      Official HCGJ songwriter for the year 2005


                      • #12
                        If it were me, I would try to work through whatever prompted her to dump you the first time. If you both can come to terms with that and she has realized that she ****************ed up by dumping you, then I would give her the benefit of the doubt. If you really still care for her, doesn't she deserve a second chance? If she ****************s it up again at least you can walk away knowing you gave it another opportunity.

                        As much of a bitch that my first wife was, I probably would have given her another chance if she had come back to me and said gee I really ****************ed up by walking out on you...Glad she never did as I am much better off now with wife # 3...

                        Custom Wired Strat Pickguard Assemblies - PM me to discuss specs & pricing

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                        • #13
                          Depends on HOW she did it. I know it broke your heart, but there is a big difference between someone saying "I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore" and some bitch stringing you along with mind games or worse.

                          If she has been honest with you (as far as you know) and you still have feelings for her, give it a shot. Yes, you may get stomped again, but life ain't about staying home and playing it safe.

                          my .02
                          The Homebrews!

                          "The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair." -Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy


                          • #14
                            Two words...

                            Grudge ****************.
                            Canada's Radio Act requires that "a licenser may not broadcast ... any false or misleading news." The provision has kept Fox News and right-wing talk radio out of Canada...

                            Originally posted by elevenyo
                            tapeman1 is the koolest, most honest person here.

                            Originally Posted by GZsound

                            all the liberals on this forum are right and I am a complete idiot.


                            • #15

                              It's all up to you.

                              For me to give you advice, I'd have to know how and why she broke up with you. I'd also need to know what "level" the relationship was at..
                              Non fui. Fui. Non sum. Non curo.