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Spend some time working on getting your bends in pitch and using vibrato with some conviction. There are a lot of things you can do with bends (half step, full step, bend and release, prebend, 1 and 1/2 step bends, etc, etc), but they need to be on pitch. There's also a lot you can do with vibrato, but it needs to sound like you mean it. What works for me is listening to players I admire and trying to get certain phrases/notes exactly like the record so I can figure out when I play a certain thing it sounds a certain way. Then wrap all that up into your own playing. Youtube is also helpful because you can get some really closeup shots of just how much guys are actually moving the strings with their vibrato. I'd drop fooling around with the tremolo bar until you get this stuff down... if you are going to use it the same things apply.
Also, you can find karoake versions with the vocals removed on youtube. That allows you more flexibility to play over it, but you can also work out the melody on the guitar.