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Why drum machines are better than drummers

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  • Why drum machines are better than drummers

    They are never late,

    they don't spill on your electronics,

    they don't cry because they are sweaty and fatigued,

    they don't bum smokes from you,

    or steal beers or whiskey from your cupboard while you are laying down a vocal track,

    they don't bring their woman over to say "IIIII think" in the middle of a discussion that doesn not involve her.







    What am I missing?
    teh *4L* band

  • #2
    They don't trip on your cable with their big-ass feet between sets and knock yer expensive guitar over chipping it or maybe knocking the headstock off.
    "Why, if we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved."

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    • #3
      This must be a troll doll. I'll take la live drummer any day of the week. There is no difference between an irresponsible drummer and an irresponsible bass/guitar/accordion player.
      gone

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      • #4






        Quote Originally Posted by Bandard
        View Post

        This must be a troll doll. I'll take la live drummer any day of the week. There is no difference between an irresponsible drummer and an irresponsible bass/guitar/accordion player.




        you are on my venting cloud!!!
        teh *4L* band

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        • #5
          Oh. Sorry. I've wanted to kill certain drummers too. I was only disagreeing with your generalization.



          Carry on.
          gone

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          • #6






            Quote Originally Posted by Bandard
            View Post

            Oh. Sorry. I've wanted to kill certain drummers too. I was only disagreeing with your generalization.



            Carry on.








            This is a collective ball of **************** from the last 3 drummers I have had. I can't find one worth a rip.
            teh *4L* band

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            • #7
              This is my signature. No one would ever know, though, because it looks just like my post. :failol:

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              • #8
                a drum machine won't **************** your girl friend



                But I will
                I play tag in the auto graveyard!

                Meet the New Boss...

                Same as the Old Boss!






                Originally Posted by chiro972


                You're a wacko conspiracy theorist. (although I do agree with you!)









                Originally Posted by SBF3000






                any man that can upsale a woman into a $500 worth of flushes and **************** can talk the panties off of them.

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                • #9
                  a drum machine doesn't walk up to a peice of equipment, turn a knob while saying "what does this do?"
                  teh *4L* band

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                  • #10
                    my last drummer was great. he'd turn up late, without sticks, or with completely ****************ed ones, beer in hand, and sit behind the kit ripping haggard fart after haggard fart. one time he got bored waitign for our bassist to replace a string and tune up, so he started racking up lines of ketamine on the snare.



                    you've never seen someone so badly spacked out and gurning keep such perfect time



                    he also used to hit the rims on the toms so hard that you couldn't face the kit directly cos you'd get showered periodically in matchstick sized splinters of drumstick.
                    Originally Posted by boons


                    Maybe you're too nice. The closest thing to the pussy is the ****************************: become one.









                    Originally Posted by chuck sabbath


                    of course. you cant explain the logic of the wang









                    Originally Posted by Tele Vision


                    You know how stray cats go through your garbage? Well, Pikeys are stray people who go through your car, shed and house.

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                    • #11
                      A drum machinee does not use monitors to prop up his floor toms and bass drum while a basement is flooding and walk out of the house and say "yeah, everythings ok, we better check back in a few hrs to be sure, but now everything is safe."
                      teh *4L* band

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                      • #12
                        i met a great drummer a few months ago, hes a real nice guy so i hope we can get to jam at some point or do a project together. i use ezdrummer most of the time.

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                        • #13
                          A drum machine doesn't say - "who gives a **************** about the arrangement or the chords- just cue me when it's supposed to end"



                          A drum machine doesn't slow down to the same ****************ing tempo so all the songs nd up sounding the same.
                          gone

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                          • #14
                            A drum machine doesn't piss outside just because "it's better..."

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                            • #15
                              YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                              that's the spirit, fellas!
                              teh *4L* band

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