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  • Can anyone help me with a grammar question?

    "Proper nutrition aids intellectual growth. Intelligence that thereby makes it all the more easy for groups and their members to adopt democracy"


    is thereby used correctly in that sentence?

  • #2
    unnecessary I think

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    • #3
      unnecessary I think


      Yeah, but not incorrect though? It is a proper, albeit redundant, use of the word?

      Comment


      • #4
        The second sentence should be restructured and/or completed.

        For example,

        Therefore, the intelligence that facilitates the adoption of democracy by groups and their members is directly influenced by diet.


        But the use of "thereby" COULD be correct if there is more to the sentence.
        My Prog-Metal Solo Project

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        • #5
          That's not even a complete sentence. You fail. See you next year.
          .

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          • #6
            Cleaned it up for ya.

            "Proper nutrition gives you aids. Intelligence that thereby makes it all the more easy for poopers and their members to adopt intamacy"


            But yeah, I'm not sure it's necessary and I'm not sure about "more easy." But "easier" would sound goofy as well.
            Good deals with: Pablo Escobar, Rod Blagoyevich, Jeff Gillooly

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            • #7
              I liek cake


              Trut so pur.
              "I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck

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              • #8
                Trut so pur.


                Good deals with: Pablo Escobar, Rod Blagoyevich, Jeff Gillooly

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                • #9
                  Throw in a "whilst" while your at it.

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                  • #10
                    "Proper nutrition aids intellectual growth. Intelligence that thereby makes it all the more easy for groups and their members to adopt democracy"


                    is thereby used correctly in that sentence?


                    Its not a sentence.

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                    • #11
                      Throw in a "whilst" while your at it.


                      and an "ergo" and "thus" or two

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                      • #12
                        Its not a sentence.


                        well catch me when I'm not on a cellphone then

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                        • #13
                          "Proper nutrition aids intellectual growth. Intelligence that thereby makes it all the more easy for groups and their members to adopt democracy"


                          is thereby used correctly in that sentence?


                          Not really. "Thereby" means "in connection with that" or "because of that." "Intelligence, in turn, makes it ..." would be more precise. As the others have pointed out, though, the sentence fragment is a bigger problem.

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                          • #14
                            well catch me when I'm not on a cellphone then


                            That's no a sentence either.

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                            • #15
                              Oh for God's sake. It's like watching a crowd of car mechanics trying to service the Hubble telescope.

                              "Proper nutrition aids intellectual growth."

                              That bit is fine.

                              "Intelligence that thereby makes it all the more easy for groups and their members to adopt democracy"

                              Even if the missing full stop were to be placed in its correct position this sentence would make no sense whatsoever.

                              The two sentences should be joined by a hyphen:

                              "Proper nutrition aids intellectual growth - intelligence that thereby makes it all the more easy for groups and their members to adopt democracy."

                              I also have reservations about the phrase "all the more easy". It is a very unwieldy piece of syntax. "...intelligence that renders it easier for groups etc." is much easier to read.
                              "Now you've opened a whole sheetload of pain on everyone here, with all your black pudding insaneness." - Zygoat2

                              "I'm excited. Nothing turns chicks on more than a fat guy with a flying V playing Monkees songs!" - Sydfan

                              "Phuck you and your pseudo toaster." - Silas Dean

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