Members Kramerguy Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 I'm tiring of the music stand discussions, so let's step it up a notch to something slightly more risque ... What are your feelings on band members' other halves coming to shows? Do they party hard and distract from your band-mates performance? Do they get all jealous and cause trouble? Do they sit in the corner with a frown on their faces, or look bored? Do they help or hurt the band by being there, or are they the first to dance and get the crowd going? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members fanuvbrak Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 My wife came to most of our shows. She didn't dance, really, but she always came with our group of friends/relatives (about 20 people) who did, so she helped. I have seen other halves who are disruptive and seemingly jealous of the attention the band gets. These can get ugly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kmart Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 Yes to all of the above, with regard to what's POSSIBLE. Personally, I've never had a SO come to a show and be any sort of distraction or detriment....they would have quickly been my ex-SO if that was the case. Same for my band mates over time. Never a single issue. My wife comes out to see me once in a blue moon now...once you've seen me play a couple dozen times or more, I guess there's little reason to do it again, and with a young kid at home...it's not going to happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tado921 Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 I guess we are fortunate in that regard, our SO's support the band but do not get in the way during gigs. Over the years I've never seen anyone have a real problem with this at a gig. Our lead guitar player's wife gets super jealous if he gets any attention from the girls, but she waits until the gig is over to let him have it. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members FitchFY Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 My GF is awesome - she comes out when she wants to, normally brings a few friends, and has a good time. Depending on the night, she may travel seperately or ride with me, and she gets that what we do is what we do and why we do it. I've seen it all with SO issues at gigs, though - it takes a mature SO and a mature musician to have it go seamlessly. It's much worse in the original band scene than cover band scene! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kramerguy Posted May 25, 2012 Author Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 Yes to all of the above, with regard to what's POSSIBLE.Personally, I've never had a SO come to a show and be any sort of distraction or detriment....they would have quickly been my ex-SO if that was the case. Same for my band mates over time. Never a single issue.My wife comes out to see me once in a blue moon now...once you've seen me play a couple dozen times or more, I guess there's little reason to do it again, and with a young kid at home...it's not going to happen. I'm in the same boat- I have a youngling at home, so the wife usually stays at home. She used to come out once in a blue moon, but it's really not her cup of tea, and she had issues getting along with the other wives/gf's, so she doesn't bother to come out anymore. I guess I'm lucky that she doesn't try to inhibit my involvement in the bands and just let's me play and have fun, even outside the band, I can pretty much have my own social life, so long as I don't ignore her one the nights that I am around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PRSJim Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 My wife would help me set up, she would help me break down, and she would do everything to make sure that I was comfortable on stage. she was never jealous, even when another woman would show me her chest or ask me to touch her. she knew who I was going home with. If you have a wife/girlfriend like that, you're good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SpaceNorman Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 I've never had any significant issues with wives and/or girlfriends coming to gigs - or any other band function for that matter. I've never had one (mine or my bandmates) become a "behavior issue" at a gig - and the couple of times a wife or girlfriend has "pushed the envelope" in terms of her involvement with the band (i.e., bookings, scheduling, songs, whatever...) - I'm simply taken my bandmate aside and made it very clear that HE is our bandmate and SHE is not - and "requested" that he ensure she understands and respects that fact. In those couple of instances (in my 30+ years of "banding...) - that was all it took. These days, my wife will come out if we're playing somewhere nearby - and usually brings a dozen friends with her. They eat, they drink, they dance - it's all good. There were a couple of minor bumps between her and I when I first started playing with my current project (a party band that plays local and has a solid enough draw that most places reserve tables when we play - and are typically 100% reserved several days prior to our performance). My wife - ever the party planner - used to grill me about where her table was going to be ... and where other groups that she was coordinating with were going to be sitting. I had to 'splain that I only know about one seat - and that's the one that I sit on - which will be right behind the piano. Once she finally realized that any party planning she did was 100% her - it's been great. Now, she comes, pays her cover charge - eats, drinks, dances with the friends she drags along - and leaves me to do my thing without bugging me. It's a win-win! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members FitchFY Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 Pet peeve: a SO who thinks they're part of the show. Please don't walk on stage, please don't try and have a conversation with your SO while they're performing, please don't tell us what song to play, and please DO NOT INTERACT WITH BAR MANAGEMENT WHEN YOU'RE LIT UP ON YOUR APPLETINIS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PRSJim Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 please don't tell us what song to play I left a band for that reason. Wives of two members said they wanted to hear a certain song. I said, "OK, your husbands can sing it. I don't like it, and there are too many good songs out there for me to like this crappy song." They would get drunk and jealous and tell us what to play. Goodbye band. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kramerguy Posted May 25, 2012 Author Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 In a former band, my drummers GF refused to let him play a gig cause she didn't like the bar... yes I quit right after that, as I'm the one who booked the gig and it hurt MY rep. (and yeah, he agreed to the gig when it was booked) I've seen a lot in the past where some band-mates were shockingly whipped. I don't understand how any man can live like that, band or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jeff42 Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 Pet peeve: a SO who thinks they're part of the show. Please don't walk on stage, please don't try and have a conversation with your SO while they're performing, please don't tell us what song to play, and please DO NOT INTERACT WITH BAR MANAGEMENT WHEN YOU'RE LIT UP ON YOUR APPLETINIS. I have witnessed this... (a former members wife) SO NOT COOL! Years ago I had a musician's wife tell me he wasn't allowed to do a decent paying gig every other Thursday (7pm-11pm) because SHE can't get out during the week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators BATCAT Posted May 25, 2012 Moderators Share Posted May 25, 2012 My wife comes to every single show she is physically able to, and has never caused any problem, rather, she's a big help. In the case of most bandmates I have/had with wives or SOs, they wouls come at least sporadically and often regularly, the main exception being when there was a younger child to take care of. I can't recally any weird jealousy, drunken shenanigans, or other problems offhand, at least, not any that interferred with the show. In general they seem to be there to cheer their partner on. So I can pretty much say this has been a non-issue in my world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members urca Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 I'm tiring of the music stand discussions, so let's step it up a notch to something slightly more risque ...What are your feelings on band members' other halves coming to shows? Do they party hard and distract from your band-mates performance? Do they get all jealous and cause trouble? Do they sit in the corner with a frown on their faces, or look bored? Do they help or hurt the band by being there, or are they the first to dance and get the crowd going? Had a singer whose GF did exactly that, talk about a dud...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members joshmac Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 Whenever any of our band members` SOs are there, I find the guys try to play better to impress them. All of our wives/girlfriends are very loving and like to watch us once in awhile. I personally get super excited when my girlfriend is watching us. We play about 10 times per month, she usually comes to 1/2. There have been no jealous times other than if girls try to dance on stage or blatantly flirt us. One woman said she was going to "f&*k the drummer tonight", right in front of the drummer's wife. That was funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Piano Whore Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 SO's at gigs are cool in my book-especially OTHER'S SO's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GCDEF Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 My wife doesn't come often, but the other guys' do. They usually bring friends and the bass player's wife takes lots of pictures. Having them there is a good thing for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ckcondon Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 My wife totally supports my band and she and her girlfriends are usually the first ones dancing and getting people into the night.Love. Her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Old Fart Rocker Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 In both of my bands we are a little older, so we don't have any of the problems with wives, husbands, GF, and SO's that some bands have. I personally like it when my wife comes to a gig. She usually brings a crowd! We've been married for 23 years and she's been to enough gigs to know that I am actually working. She understands that it's not about her when I'm gigging. She knows I have to set up, tear down, and mingle between sets. It's nice to have a mature woman on your side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members msmooth Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 1) My wife is great when she shows up. She used to play in a band with me, so she's knows what's going on. She also knows that I concentrate more on the music than the women. Now days she stays home on most nights as she doesn't like being around people who are smoking. 2) Once had an ex-band member's wife have the bar mgr. give her the money which she started to count out.... that pissed me off to no end. She was also a loud redneck woman who wanted to hear this and that. I did not like her at all. The member was asked to leave the band not too long after that. She was not the reason, his own attitude and musicianship were, but getting rid of him also got rid of her. 3) One friend of mine, playing in another band whom I went to hear, came up to me and said "We're in trouble. XX's wife is here" I asked what the problem was and he said "his girlfriend is here too." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members flanc Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 Since my wife is our bassist and front person it would be tough to gig without her. Most of the other wives/SO's are good about helping with load-in / load-out, picture taking, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members flemtone Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 Spin-off: my wife used to come to all our shows, not so much any more. However, our youngest daughter now comes out every time we play with her fiancee and their circle of friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kramerguy Posted May 25, 2012 Author Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 3) One friend of mine, playing in another band whom I went to hear, came up to me and said "We're in trouble. XX's wife is here" I asked what the problem was and he said "his girlfriend is here too." LOL CLASSIC! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wades_keys Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 I love it when Diane (GF) comes out to see me play! It doesn't happen often but I love it when it does! It just puts me in a better mood overall and gives me someone pretty to look at without feeling guilty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chicken Monkey Posted May 25, 2012 Members Share Posted May 25, 2012 My wife doesn't like bars, and often gets hit on more than she'd like, but she comes out to a lot of our non-bar shows. She's not the jealous type, so I tell her about the drunk broads who try to take me home. She trusts me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.