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  • Does anyone else feel this way?

    I'm something of a perfectionist. Yeah, I'm in a cover-band, we play local bars, nobody expects the best of the best. I've also done a lot of originals work in the last three years. I've not been happy with any of it. The cover band is fun, but looking at dozens of performance videos, there's nothing I'm even happy enough with to put onto youtube, much less create a demo from.



    The original work I've done I was unhappy with, I didn't have control over the production, so I had to just play my parts and be done with it- in hindsight, I was really unhappy mostly with the parts I came up with, on top of my guitar tone, etc.. but also unhappy with the material as a whole. Mostly in post-production, I became depressed at how bad it was, and my inability to change it. I know a lot of people would say it's good, but a lot of people are also either family, friends, or other musicians who are trying to be supportive and not hurt my feelings, so I rarely trust compliments.



    What I'm getting at is that after 4 very active years in both covers and originals, I have almost zero audio or video that I feel is "good enough" to even post on my profiles on various sites. I've taken down everything I ever posted, ultimately disgusted with it. I struggle with whether or not I'm just too anal, or that I'm just not good enough to create something truly great.



    So am I just a screwed up anomaly, or do other people also feel this way?
    Sig Fail

  • #2
    Is your issue with the quality of the music you create - or is it that the production quality of the stuff you've recorded falls far short of the music it's trying to capture?



    The bulk of my gigging is split between two cover acts - one is a male fronted 6 piece, the other a female fronted 8 piece with horns (Sax, Trombone, Trumpet/Flugelhorn). Both acts consistently deliver pretty decent performances - unfortunately, nothing we've captured in terms of live recordings comes close to what I consider "demo quality" recordings. I've listened to hours and hours of our live recordings - and while they're good enough for me to listen to and judge our performance - there's always a glaring problem with the mix as captured by the recording that in my opinion renders it useless as a demo clip.



    If you're beating yourself up because of the quality of music your project(s) create - you gotta do a little soul searching and figure out if the problem is "in your head" and the result of unrealistic expectations.



    If it's simply an issue that you're simply not satisfied with the production quality of the recordings you've made - no you are not alone.
    The SpaceNorman

    www.facebook.com/SuperstarsOfRock
    www.souldoutrocks.com

    Keyboards and Tone Generators: Yamaha CP300, Kronos 88, Roland AX Synth, Motif ES Rack
    Keyboard Rack: Samson SM10 Line Mixer, Motu MIDIExpressXT MIDI Interface, Shure PSM200 IEM system, M-Audio Wireless MIDI, Live Wires IEM ear buds, iPad wOnSong.
    Stage Amplification: Stereo via 2 Yamaha DSR112s

    Comment


    • #3
      Is your issue with the quality of the music you create - or is it that the production quality of the stuff you've recorded falls far short of the music it's trying to capture?



      The bulk of my gigging is split between two cover acts - one is a male fronted 6 piece, the other a female fronted 8 piece with horns (Sax, Trombone, Trumpet/Flugelhorn). Both acts consistently deliver pretty decent performances - unfortunately, nothing we've captured in terms of live recordings comes close to what I consider "demo quality" recordings. I've listened to hours and hours of our live recordings - and while they're good enough for me to listen to and judge our performance - there's always a glaring problem with the mix as captured by the recording that in my opinion renders it useless as a demo clip.



      If you're beating yourself up because of the quality of music your project(s) create - you gotta do a little soul searching and figure out if the problem is "in your head" and the result of unrealistic expectations.



      If it's simply an issue that you're simply not satisfied with the production quality of the recordings you've made - no you are not alone.
      The SpaceNorman

      www.facebook.com/SuperstarsOfRock
      www.souldoutrocks.com

      Keyboards and Tone Generators: Yamaha CP300, Kronos 88, Roland AX Synth, Motif ES Rack
      Keyboard Rack: Samson SM10 Line Mixer, Motu MIDIExpressXT MIDI Interface, Shure PSM200 IEM system, M-Audio Wireless MIDI, Live Wires IEM ear buds, iPad wOnSong.
      Stage Amplification: Stereo via 2 Yamaha DSR112s

      Comment


      • #4
        Have you posted anything in the HC Songwriters forum? They're honest there.



        But in the end, if you don't like your own songs. . . I don't know where to go from there.
        Check my band: SoulPlay - > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TH9-e4FmaE
        Key Rig: Alesis Fusion 8HD; Roland A-800 Pro; Toshiba i7 laptop running Cantabile VST host with IK Multimedia Total Workstation Bundle, NI Vintage Organs, Tyrell N6, Sylenth1, Imperfect Samples Walnut Concert Grand, NI FM8; Tascam US-1641 USB MIDI/Audio Interface; 2 x RCF Art 310-A MK III series monitors.

        Comment


        • #5
          Have you posted anything in the HC Songwriters forum? They're honest there.



          But in the end, if you don't like your own songs. . . I don't know where to go from there.
          Check my band: SoulPlay - > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TH9-e4FmaE
          Key Rig: Alesis Fusion 8HD; Roland A-800 Pro; Toshiba i7 laptop running Cantabile VST host with IK Multimedia Total Workstation Bundle, NI Vintage Organs, Tyrell N6, Sylenth1, Imperfect Samples Walnut Concert Grand, NI FM8; Tascam US-1641 USB MIDI/Audio Interface; 2 x RCF Art 310-A MK III series monitors.

          Comment


          • #6
            There's a healthy amount of self-motivation I think any musician should have; we know how to appease our band mates, and our fans, but what about ourselves? We are our own worst critics.



            But please realize the GIFT you have! You MAKE MUSIC! So... maybe lighten up on yourself a bit?
            Music, music, I hear music

            Comment


            • #7
              There's a healthy amount of self-motivation I think any musician should have; we know how to appease our band mates, and our fans, but what about ourselves? We are our own worst critics.



              But please realize the GIFT you have! You MAKE MUSIC! So... maybe lighten up on yourself a bit?
              Music, music, I hear music

              Comment


              • #8






                Quote Originally Posted by SpaceNorman
                View Post

                Is your issue with the quality of the music you create - or is it that the production quality of the stuff you've recorded falls far short of the music it's trying to capture?



                The bulk of my gigging is split between two cover acts - one is a male fronted 6 piece, the other a female fronted 8 piece with horns (Sax, Trombone, Trumpet/Flugelhorn). Both acts consistently deliver pretty decent performances - unfortunately, nothing we've captured in terms of live recordings comes close to what I consider "demo quality" recordings. I've listened to hours and hours of our live recordings - and while they're good enough for me to listen to and judge our performance - there's always a glaring problem with the mix as captured by the recording that in my opinion renders it useless as a demo clip.



                If you're beating yourself up because of the quality of music your project(s) create - you gotta do a little soul searching and figure out if the problem is "in your head" and the result of unrealistic expectations.



                If it's simply an issue that you're simply not satisfied with the production quality of the recordings you've made - no you are not alone.




                Sure, it's mostly production quality, but there is something of a level of unrealistic expectations as well. I think that in the end, I just need to step up and take more control over myself and my music. Maybe I will never be satisfied. I listen to my old stuff sometimes, and always have mixed feelings on it. In the studio, trying to improve on things has been a double-edged sword, making things worse as often as better. But yeah, in the end, production is my biggest issue.. I'm not an engineer, and don't know how to home record to create exactly what my imagination wants to hear lol.



                I was mostly wondering how many others suffer this 'tortured musician' syndrome, or if it's more of a rare thing.
                Sig Fail

                Comment


                • #9






                  Quote Originally Posted by SpaceNorman
                  View Post

                  Is your issue with the quality of the music you create - or is it that the production quality of the stuff you've recorded falls far short of the music it's trying to capture?



                  The bulk of my gigging is split between two cover acts - one is a male fronted 6 piece, the other a female fronted 8 piece with horns (Sax, Trombone, Trumpet/Flugelhorn). Both acts consistently deliver pretty decent performances - unfortunately, nothing we've captured in terms of live recordings comes close to what I consider "demo quality" recordings. I've listened to hours and hours of our live recordings - and while they're good enough for me to listen to and judge our performance - there's always a glaring problem with the mix as captured by the recording that in my opinion renders it useless as a demo clip.



                  If you're beating yourself up because of the quality of music your project(s) create - you gotta do a little soul searching and figure out if the problem is "in your head" and the result of unrealistic expectations.



                  If it's simply an issue that you're simply not satisfied with the production quality of the recordings you've made - no you are not alone.




                  Sure, it's mostly production quality, but there is something of a level of unrealistic expectations as well. I think that in the end, I just need to step up and take more control over myself and my music. Maybe I will never be satisfied. I listen to my old stuff sometimes, and always have mixed feelings on it. In the studio, trying to improve on things has been a double-edged sword, making things worse as often as better. But yeah, in the end, production is my biggest issue.. I'm not an engineer, and don't know how to home record to create exactly what my imagination wants to hear lol.



                  I was mostly wondering how many others suffer this 'tortured musician' syndrome, or if it's more of a rare thing.
                  Sig Fail

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I can relate Kramerguy. I bought a teac 3440 probably in the late 70's. I wrote some stuff and recorded it, but 4 tracks on 1/4" tape, no editing, no outboard gear. I was happy with a tune or two, but nothing else. Then when ADAT's came out I bought one, plus a 1604, and a dat machine. Never was happy with the results. Then pro tools le with a mac, etc. Kinda of breakthough because now I could edit, and after compiling work done on 2" machines, adats, and pro tools, and getting pro mixing and mastering, I finally released a cd in 2002. It sold pretty well at gigs and I got a little airplay, a little press, and it's still selling a little online. It doubled our gig fee. But at this point, I don't think any of that music represents what I'd like to represent. I've made other recordings that at the time I was pretty happy with, but time is a cruel judge, and although I can still appreciate the things I like in an old recording, I also still hear all the bits I wished were better. I don't listen to other people's music this way. I can just dig the parts that are cool, and gloss over what I think are less than perfect bits.



                    So, I'm starting again, having just bought a new PT setup. I don't know how long it's going to take to get something I like, or would like to put online. Maybe six months, maybe never.



                    In terms of live gigs, I've done many that I felt proud of. Somehow, I've never managed to capture, or have captured, much on video that I'm proud of. No one captured the really great moments on vid, or tape for that matter.



                    You are not alone. It's either I'm a perfectionist or I suck. I know for sure I'm not in the league of guys who can simply turn on a tape machine, play, and have it be great. I think we just have to keep going, and take satisfaction where and when it occurs, and continue to work on the stuff we feel has fallen short, be it recordings or live playing. I won't do sessions anymore, because I don't like what people have done to my tone, and even worse, had people extract bits of playing and re-assemble them into something I'd never play. Not worth the money to have to hear yourself sound bad......even if they think it's good.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I can relate Kramerguy. I bought a teac 3440 probably in the late 70's. I wrote some stuff and recorded it, but 4 tracks on 1/4" tape, no editing, no outboard gear. I was happy with a tune or two, but nothing else. Then when ADAT's came out I bought one, plus a 1604, and a dat machine. Never was happy with the results. Then pro tools le with a mac, etc. Kinda of breakthough because now I could edit, and after compiling work done on 2" machines, adats, and pro tools, and getting pro mixing and mastering, I finally released a cd in 2002. It sold pretty well at gigs and I got a little airplay, a little press, and it's still selling a little online. It doubled our gig fee. But at this point, I don't think any of that music represents what I'd like to represent. I've made other recordings that at the time I was pretty happy with, but time is a cruel judge, and although I can still appreciate the things I like in an old recording, I also still hear all the bits I wished were better. I don't listen to other people's music this way. I can just dig the parts that are cool, and gloss over what I think are less than perfect bits.



                      So, I'm starting again, having just bought a new PT setup. I don't know how long it's going to take to get something I like, or would like to put online. Maybe six months, maybe never.



                      In terms of live gigs, I've done many that I felt proud of. Somehow, I've never managed to capture, or have captured, much on video that I'm proud of. No one captured the really great moments on vid, or tape for that matter.



                      You are not alone. It's either I'm a perfectionist or I suck. I know for sure I'm not in the league of guys who can simply turn on a tape machine, play, and have it be great. I think we just have to keep going, and take satisfaction where and when it occurs, and continue to work on the stuff we feel has fallen short, be it recordings or live playing. I won't do sessions anymore, because I don't like what people have done to my tone, and even worse, had people extract bits of playing and re-assemble them into something I'd never play. Not worth the money to have to hear yourself sound bad......even if they think it's good.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        live show vids are what they are. Odds are you will never see a show of ours where every memeber makes a clean pass through every song in a three hour show. Odds are that you will never see a show where anyone is sober enough out front to care.
                        "you mess with him and you mess with the whole trailer park"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          live show vids are what they are. Odds are you will never see a show of ours where every memeber makes a clean pass through every song in a three hour show. Odds are that you will never see a show where anyone is sober enough out front to care.
                          "you mess with him and you mess with the whole trailer park"

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I think you have hit on a very common set of feelings. I go thru the same thing. But as I have matured I have gotten my perspective back...and thats helped somewhat. Sure I want perfection..but what that is ..is very personel...and I shouldnt expect everyone to sign on to that. Like some of my demos I like....I like them warts and all..they fall out of time, I make up the words as I go etc etc..BUT THE FEEL IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED. Of course,the public doesnt want that..and If I am in their shoes neither do I..!! So there is some mental gymnastics to wok around. I suspect all the big dogs feel the same..but cant say it. I mean, seriously, who will buy your CD if you say "I think it came out kinda mediocre in spots...." I suspect pros realize that not only is their career riding on that CD so is everyone else in the organization (other musicians, booking people,managers, wife,kids etc)..so you do your best and keep a brave face when you think you could have done better.

                            Good news: Most people can never tell. Bad news..if ya let this stuff get to you...you'll never release anything.

                            best news: you have the control here: make some music, mull it over...release it if ya feel like it.

                            If it sells a trillion, send me a check. (LOL!!!!!)

                            GtrGeorge

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I think you have hit on a very common set of feelings. I go thru the same thing. But as I have matured I have gotten my perspective back...and thats helped somewhat. Sure I want perfection..but what that is ..is very personel...and I shouldnt expect everyone to sign on to that. Like some of my demos I like....I like them warts and all..they fall out of time, I make up the words as I go etc etc..BUT THE FEEL IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED. Of course,the public doesnt want that..and If I am in their shoes neither do I..!! So there is some mental gymnastics to wok around. I suspect all the big dogs feel the same..but cant say it. I mean, seriously, who will buy your CD if you say "I think it came out kinda mediocre in spots...." I suspect pros realize that not only is their career riding on that CD so is everyone else in the organization (other musicians, booking people,managers, wife,kids etc)..so you do your best and keep a brave face when you think you could have done better.

                              Good news: Most people can never tell. Bad news..if ya let this stuff get to you...you'll never release anything.

                              best news: you have the control here: make some music, mull it over...release it if ya feel like it.

                              If it sells a trillion, send me a check. (LOL!!!!!)

                              GtrGeorge

                              Comment



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