Band cancelling on me after I subbed out of gig to do their gig

[etcetra]

So I get asked to join a cover band recently. The guitarist fried of mine told me their kb player isn't cutting it, and they needed someone new for the coming show. The band leader calls me few days later to ask me if I am available for 2 dates on November. I told him that I have a gig already but I can sub out of them. After I made few calls to sub, I confirmed with them that I am good to go. We set up the first rehearsal date and got the music.

 

Few days later the guitar player tells me that the bandleader have decided to give the other kb player another chance..but I received no word from the band leader. A week has passed and still no word. I mentioned this to the guitar player, he contacts the bandleader and I finally get a message back. he told me that I should go back to my old gig . He told me he had concerns about 1)me not having a synth right now 2)I don't sing 3)He doesn't think band will be tight enough considering the gig is happening in 2 weeks, and decided it's best to use the other kb player.

 

This got me pretty upset. I messaged him back to politely tell him that this is not cool. I told him that 1)synth problem shouldn't have been an issue. I told him I was in the process of getting a new one, and the new one has arrived already. I've also told him I can borrow Korg x50(synth i am very familiar with) from a friend as backup plan. 2)The bandleader did not mention singing as an issue before he booked me for the gig. 3)I've told him that I know more than half of the songs, and I should be ready to do the show in 2-3 rehearsals. In fact he asked me to come this week to rehearse before he changed his mind. I could have done 6 rehearsals over 3 weeks with them. I told them I've done successful shows doing much harder music with less rehearsals than what they were asking.

 

I told him that they should have talked about the these issues before they asked me to commit to their gig. I also told them I was disappointed, because they've made this decision without even giving me a chance to rehearse with them. I told them I can make time to rehearse with them ever since they asked me to do the gig, and they probably would have different opinion about readiness once I rehearsed with them.

 

I am not sure what to make of this situation, but I am guessing the band leader doesn't have much experience working with musicians beyond his regular group. Maybe the keyboard players he's been using have been all awful and he doesn't realize that a competent one can get things ready in 1-2 weeks. The band leader told me he still wants to work with me in the future(he does recognize that the other kb player is awful too) but frankly I don't know what to think of it.

 

If you guys were in my situation would you still work with them? Would you have done things differently than I did? Personally, it really depends on how they respond about my message. If they are willing to recognize they've messed up and apologize I might still work with them, but if not, I probably won't work with them again.

[SpaceNorman]

That situation sucks ... but, to be honest, I think it's pretty much par for the course in the world that most of us weekend warrior types live in. Until you've actually performed with a given band - you're going to be considered an "unknown commodity" (even if some of them know you well enough to know better). As an "unknown commodity" - you just can't predict what twists and turns are going to come your way in this regard.

 

Personally, I wouldn't have "subbed out" a gig that I was already booked for in order to take on a "first gig" with another band (mostly because it would violate my oft-cited "first come, first serve" rule about booking priorities). I'm a firm believer that rarely does any good come from backing out of an existing commitment (even if you manage to cover it with a sub). Clearly, it sends an unfavorable message to the guys you're backing out on - and equally important - it speaks volumes about what to expect from you in terms of reliability to the new guys (and anybody else who happens to be familiar with the situation as well)!.

 

Going forward - I would be careful NOT to burn any bridges with the band because of this situation. While I certainly be more leery about future commitments with them - I wouldn't burn bridges. My seat with some of the bands I've enjoyed the most over the years - often came after a couple strange twists and "false starts". Until you actually start performing with a group - you gotta stay flexible and not be surprised when stuff like this happens.

[etcetra]

SpaceNorman

 

I guess I should have explained the subbing situation more clearly. I actually told the bandleader I cannot back out of any other gig I was already booked with. The only reason I made exception for this one gig was because it was a gig that paid very little money and the other bandleader understands that this is a gig that we are doing just for fun. He made it clear that it was ok for the band members to take other money gigs and he didn't have any problem with me subbing out of that gig. The bass player also had to sub out on short notice to go on a tour recently too. The new band (the one who dropped me) actually wanted me to do some dates for October to but, I had to turn them down because I was doing big festival gig for this band(same band i asked to sub for November).

 

I talked to the bandleader, and he said he wants to work with me in the future so we'll see how it goes. I agree, I don't intend to burn bridges but it'd be nice if they can at least understand that the way the handled things are not ok, because I wouldn't want something like that to happen again. You may be right, things might turn out for the better once I start working with them in the future.