Members msmooth Posted June 10, 2015 Members Share Posted June 10, 2015 My wife and I started out as a duo, she sings and does limited percussion and I play guitar and sing. After a few months we added upright bassist and we have been playing as a trio for a little over a year now. We play a very light schedule and lately have been doing 2 gigs per month, with 3 in June. The problem is that my wife doesn't want to play even this much and she really would rather not rehearse as much either. I would like to book more, because I feel that I play and sing better the more I do it. When I go long periods between gigs my voice gets out of shape. I don't feel that booking gigs without her is an option. She is a much better singer than I am. I am ok, pretty good at harmonies, but do not feel that I can carry a whole night without her. She says that she doesn't feel the need to play like I do, but if I look for another singer to play with she will get jealous. Especially if it is another female vocalist. I am considering doing another project, either a band or another acoustic duo (that is seperate from this trio) but have not been able to find one yet. So frustrated. Thanks for letting me vent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators daddymack Posted June 10, 2015 Moderators Share Posted June 10, 2015 Start looking for another female vocalist!! Audition them at some place other than home, and then show her pics of really hawt wimminz [they don't have to be the actual ones that you audition], and I'll put money that your wife decides that gigging more often isn't such a bad idea.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members msmooth Posted June 10, 2015 Author Members Share Posted June 10, 2015 I like it !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikeo Posted June 10, 2015 Members Share Posted June 10, 2015 Honey, you're fired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members toober Posted June 12, 2015 Members Share Posted June 12, 2015 Ask your wife to help you find a replacement for her so she doesn't have to keep up with the rest of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tomm Williams Posted June 13, 2015 Members Share Posted June 13, 2015 A real potential mine-field, tread lightly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shaster Posted June 14, 2015 Members Share Posted June 14, 2015 Rehearse less - gig more! I'm not saying this is the case here but.... I find that rehearsing is more work than a gig because it's so frustrating. Duos, trios, bands, often rehearse stuff that's beyond their technical or memory capability, then on the gig the music settles to the lowest common denominator. It drives me crazy when folks can't remember, or pull off what was rehearsed. Use charts or play easy tunes like Dock Of the Bay - that's my theory. So often, the easy ones go over better anyway, because the audience can relate to them. Unless of course you're playing avant-garde jazz or neo classical. Then your job is to confound the crowd, and make them feel ultra hip for listening to what they don't get. What, me a cynic? Maybe the wife enjoys gigging, but like me, hates rehearsing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bob Dey Posted June 14, 2015 Members Share Posted June 14, 2015 I agree with doing easy songs to cut down on rehearsal time. Depends on where everyone's head is at, but I've been in bands that rehearsed on complex songs and never even got a gig! Bands with the wife can be troublesome. Depends on your relationship and personalities, but it didn't work with my EX! Work up a gig without her and let her sit in once in a while? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators daddymack Posted June 14, 2015 Moderators Share Posted June 14, 2015 I think some of you missed the point...the wife is the main vocalist, and msmooth isn't ready to take that over.I think, though, that msmooth needs to rehearse more on material he can sing [a vocal harmonizer may help him later on], which means his wife doesn't have to be there. Frankly, his claim that his voice weakens if he isn't gigging is just an excuse, since he should be singing every day to strengthen his voice, and he just needs to set aside time to do that, even a half hour daily will make a noticeable difference fairly quickly.This would serve several purposes; he would eventually be able to do a duo with the upright player doing his own lead vocals, he would be able to take on more material in the trio setting, and, possibly, his wife would be more interested if she saw him dedicating himself to strengthening his voice and expanding his repertoire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pogo97 Posted June 14, 2015 Members Share Posted June 14, 2015 … Frankly' date=' his claim that his voice weakens if he isn't gigging is just an excuse, since he should be singing every day to strengthen his voice, and he just needs to set aside time to do that, even a half hour daily will make a noticeable difference fairly quickly….[/quote'] so true so true I've been focussed lately on learning the pipe organ and setting up for funeral masses. Haven't been practising my singing. Played a three hour afternoon gig yesterday afternoon and my voice cacked after two hours. Oops. Lucky I can play instrumentals to give the voice a break. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members msmooth Posted June 15, 2015 Author Members Share Posted June 15, 2015 Thanks for posting. Many good points. I he should be singing every day to strengthen his voice' date=' and he just needs to set aside time to do that, even a half hour daily will make a noticeable difference fairly quickly.[/quote'] daddymack, this is true. I need to rehearse myself and work on my voice regardless of whether or not she is singing with me. However, I do not feel that I am a good enough singer to carry a whole night. I need to work with another vocalist. I have a Digitech Vocalist Live 3, but I am not using it. I don't feel that it tracks as well as my old Vocalist Live II (which is for another post) that I sold to a friend. At this time I think my best option is to keep the trio going at a limited schedule, which would keep the wife happy. The bassist is in another band so he is ok with it. I am also looking for another project (either a duo or band) to play with to fill up my schedule. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members msmooth Posted June 15, 2015 Author Members Share Posted June 15, 2015 Rehearse less - gig more! I'm not saying this is the case here but.... I find that rehearsing is more work than a gig because it's so frustrating. Duos, trios, bands, often rehearse stuff that's beyond their technical or memory capability, then on the gig the music settles to the lowest common denominator. For the most part, we do not play complicated songs. I just like to rotate songs in and out of the sets. We have about 75 songs on our list (and there are at least another 50 that I could play) but during an average gig we play 25-30. So we may go a few weeks/months and not play some of our stuff. I like to rehearse to refresh on songs. We are constantly adding new ones as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shaster Posted June 15, 2015 Members Share Posted June 15, 2015 I can relate. I just looked at my sequence folder. I've got just over 300 tunes in my rotation. That includes 60 instrumentals and maybe 20 or so Christmas tunes. That's a lot of words to remember. The music part is fine, but even that's not always the case. Does your bass player have and use charts? Maybe if your rehearsals didn't have to be formal events, it would be easier to get her to rehearse. Just the two of you, sitting around the kitchen table for twenty minutes here, thirty minutes there, and letting the bass player read his parts on the gig, might be an option. Also, if you and your wife, or maybe more specifically you, know the tunes really well, then you just lead the way. That tends to work for me. BTW, sometimes if a rehearsal is inevitable, I'll try to have it at my house so I don't have to load gear... Often my wife will make cookies and coffee, as an inducement. Maybe if you started a tradition of going out for ice cream (or beer) at your rehearsals, your wife might be more agreeable. In fact, I was in a twelve piece R&B band where the leader provided beer for the rehearsals. That was the only thing that made them bearable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members msmooth Posted June 16, 2015 Author Members Share Posted June 16, 2015 No, the bassist does not use charts. I do. I have two notebooks that I am merging into my iPad and the OnSong app. I try to keep out rehearsals low key to begin with. We rehearse strictly acoustic, no mics, mixer or speakers. Unless I need to practice my harmonica parts, then I bring a mic stand in because I attach my harp to it. My problem is that I cannot stop learning songs. I learned two tonight. I have been known to throw some wild cards in at gigs and let the bassist just go for it or sit out if complicated. Usually they are pretty basic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members msmooth Posted June 29, 2015 Author Members Share Posted June 29, 2015 Well a week ago we played 2 gigs back to back (which we never do) 1 as trio and 1 as a duo (with a friend sitting in on some additional lead guitar). And they went great. As many of you suggested, I worked on my own all week playing and singing. It really paid off as I was very tight vocally on Monday but by Friday was in good voice (as least as good as it gets ) I also pulled out my in-ear monitors from my old band days. I am glad I did. The place we played on Friday night was very loud and I would have strained my voice as I couldn't hear much with out the IEMs. Karen enjoyed both gigs, which is good since after the Friday night went so well I was afraid of letdown on Saturday. The Saturday gig wasn't as good as Friday night, but it was still a good gig for the room. She and the kids were leaving for Florida (from Virginia) on Sunday morning, So I had her drive separately and she left right after the gig. I packed up most of the gear but went to pick it up the next morning after she left. I have also started looking for another person to play with on some dates to augment what the trio is doing. That way I can keep the trio dates to a level that she is ok with and still play some more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators daddymack Posted June 29, 2015 Moderators Share Posted June 29, 2015 and there you have it! That is a great step forward. Stay with it, especially while she is gone, and hopefully, when she comes home she will notice the improvement, and really catch the fever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members msmooth Posted June 29, 2015 Author Members Share Posted June 29, 2015 Unfortunately, I got sick on Sunday and was out of commission until Wednesday. I wasn't able to practice until this weekend. My bassist and I are going to get together and practice without her before she comes back. Next gig is not until 7/19, but me may get one for the 11th. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members msmooth Posted July 2, 2015 Author Members Share Posted July 2, 2015 Had rehearsal with trio bassist tonight.... came up with some cool mash-ups. Tomorrow, I am jamming with a guitarsit/vocalist and have hearde from another one via email. Things are looking up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators daddymack Posted July 2, 2015 Moderators Share Posted July 2, 2015 excellent! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Christhee68 Posted August 7, 2015 Members Share Posted August 7, 2015 and there you have it! That is a great step forward. Stay with it' date=' especially while she is gone, and hopefully, when she comes home she will notice the improvement, and really catch the fever.[/quote'] I 'm sure you know this already, but while she is away in Florida is probably NOT the time to audition new female singers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators daddymack Posted August 7, 2015 Moderators Share Posted August 7, 2015 yeah, my encouragement was regarding his working on his vocals, not finding another lady singer... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Notes_Norton Posted August 8, 2015 Members Share Posted August 8, 2015 Summertime in Florida is time to try new things, learn new songs, and experiment. After all, when the gigs thin out, you have the time to do the things you don't have time for in 'the season'. Insights and incites by Notes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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