Hard to Listen to My Own Music

[Dtmodttl]

So here's the problem:

 

I can hardly bear listening to my own recordings after about 10 seconds of playback. I enjoy playing the music as it's recorded, and other people seem to like the results. But, it's hard for me to "get into it" as a listener.

 

The exception is old tapes I have from when I used to play out more often. But that's mainly because they bring back memories---"we really nailed that difficult passage", or "that's where I hit the wrong note because my foot hit the bloody chair"---that sort of thing.

 

I heard an old song on the radio today, turned up the volume and sang along. I just don't achieve that level of zest and enjoyment listing to my own music. I don't think it's 'self-loathing' or some other neurotic, psychological thing. It's more like cringing when hearing ones own voice on an answering machine---a lot of people are like that.

 

The problem is, it makes composing music difficult. I go from being excited by a new idea to bored, seconds after committing it to paper or DAW. Things really get done only when I have an externally imposed deadline. It's like a student scrambling to write a term paper. For a shining moment, I love what I've produced, and I'm glad it's done. Then, I'm anxious to forget about it and start something new. Old project behind me, quickly forgotten.

 

Without this problem, I'm convinced I'd be a lot more prolific.

 

Any advice? Anyone want to commiserate?

 

Dt

[Billster]

We're always our own worst critics. Get other people involved in the creation and listening.

 

I'll play four notes a certain way, like it at first, but secretly think -- "It's just four notes, with a certain chord. It's lame. It's stupid. It sucks."

 

I'll play it for the guys I work with, or make a little demo for my non-musician friends, and they say "Hey that's pretty neat. I like the way it goes..."

 

Get more people involved and relax.

[boosh]

I used to have that same problem again and again.

 

Always thought my creations sucked like a Hoover.

One day I walked into this huge bar and ordered a beer. There were about 300 people in there and while I was sitting at the bar the bartender suddenly put on one of my songs. He didn't know who I was so I had a great opportunity to watch people react to my stuff unbiased.

Same thing happened a few times while I was at places when my songs were played on the radio.

 

After that my problem was gone. I know most of my stuff is good because people like it and dance to it and even talk of it in a good way even when they don't know I produced the stuff.

 

Getting good reviews and reactions from hotshots in the industry helped a lot also I guess.

 

I think it is the fear of failure or thinking you can not stand out between profesionally made music.

 

Try to find people who really are honest about your music and help you in the right direction.

 

Are your creating stuff for your own pleasure or others ? I even get a kick out of drumbeats none of my friends like.l might not use them in any songs or re-mixes but can dance to them for hours in my studio.

 

Be honest to yourself and try to hear past that - My voice sounds funny effect.

 

I know that effect - I hate it but had to come over it.

 

Same problems I have with mixing. I always think it needs a little more tweaking and never can get closure.....

 

Sometimes you just have to say" It's FINISHED , LEAVE IT ALONE!!!"

 

Booshy

[Dtmodttl]

Thanks for the very helpful advice you both gave me. I was away for the weekend so, am only just now responding.

 

You both mention getting others involved somehow in the composition process, which is a great idea. Becoming a dad and moving and more, all within the past year, has me socialising a lot less than usual, now that I think about it. I'm definitely losing out on a lot of music conversation and throwing ideas around, like I used to have. Probably more of an impact than I realise.

 

Relaxing, less self-censorship, and just 'getting over it'. Yes, yes, and yes, I say. Spot on.

 

You know, it's been a long time since I've just sat down with an instrument and played for my own sake, just for fun. That's what I need to do.

 

Cheers