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Unrequitable Love...


ShakaCthulu

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Well, I kinda like unrequited love in a way... hard for me to put into words, but I think its part of the secret to long life. It doesn't matter how many people love you back... and in my life there's been a lot of people love me back... like way too {censored}ing many I think. I didn't plan it that way... it just sorta happened over time. Well, I suppose if I'd never loved and was never loved back I might feel differently.

 

But the one that doesn't love you stirs the heart in a different way. IMO, it's good for the soul to have something just out of reach, especially for a musician/writer sort of person. It keeps a part of you alive... if that makes any sense. If I were completely content and had everything I desired I may never pick up a guitar again. That would be much worse than unrequited love.

 

It

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This topic is a loaded gun waiting to get pulled so... I have to pass at this time. All I will say is, unrequited love may be my best friend when it comes to writing songs.

 

 

Exactly!

 

There was a thread a while back on another forum where the question was

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You guys are quite wise. I think she's been dicking me around. That's the worst, when they're mad that you would dare be into them. I asked her a simple question almost a week ago, one I need to know and I know she's read it. It was short and sweet, ended with: "I don't what you see me as. How do you see me?". No response, not even the dreaded "I don't know".

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You guys are quite wise. I think she's been dicking me around. That's the worst, when they're mad that you would dare be into them. I asked her a simple question almost a week ago, one I need to know and I know she's read it. It was short and sweet, ended with: "I don't what you see me as. How do you see me?". No response, not even the dreaded "I don't know".


I've felt pitiful, until I stopped groveling. A lack of an answer IS an answer on how she sees me...she sees me as a tool. Once I stopped letting the horrid way she was treating me bother me, I immediately felt better. I'm not sure if I'll send it or not, but

 

 

Whoa! Maybe she didn

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No. I never sent it. I have learned better over time. I follow Ambrose Bierce's advice to write an angry letter, but don't send it. I do it just to vent. Because I don't always know what someone else's deal is if I'm not right there. For all I know, she could have a boyfriend and doesn't wanna tell me, has a girlfriend because she is a total dyke and doesn't want to devastate me, isn't interested and doing so will make them REALLY not interested, etc. I always try to be the bigger person, even when people are not being upfront with boundaries. Unrequited love is...a two edged sword. It hurts the person loving, and it hurts the recipient by putting them in a position where they're getting far more than they ever asked for. Better to leave it alone and take care of mah own biz.

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No. I never sent it. I have learned better over time. I follow Ambrose Bierce's advice to write an angry letter, but don't send it. I do it just to vent. Because I don't always know what someone else's deal is if I'm not right there. For all I know, she could have a boyfriend and doesn't wanna tell me, has a girlfriend because she is a total dyke and doesn't want to devastate me, isn't interested and doing so will make them REALLY not interested, etc. I always try to be the bigger person, even when people are not being upfront with boundaries. Unrequited love is...a two edged sword. It hurts the person loving, and it hurts the recipient by putting them in a position where they're getting far more than they ever asked for. Better to leave it alone and take care of mah own biz.

 

 

That

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I don't think will take long. If it's unrequited, if I'm having to "make the case" or feeling a need to force resolution so much as someone said, then it wasn't really love. Therefore it will be easier to get over. It's harder on the other person, really. And yeah, oddly enough it came during a very climactic transitional period.

 

Also...I think she might be gayer than a handbag full of unicorns and some sort of narcissist too. LOL. I can pick em!

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I completely agree with you Beck. When I met my wife, it was the easiest and the most awarding experience in my life. Even now... I`ve been with her for 12 years and I think she loves me more than ever and I`m still trying to figure that one out.
:confused:

 

That's very cool, Ernest. :thu:

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It's harder on the other person, really. And yeah, oddly enough it came during a very climactic transitional period.

 

 

Yes it is, or at least it is for some of us. One of my saddest memories is having to make a break with a girl that didn

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It's in no way her obligation to reply or even acknowledge it. YOU are responsible for your feelings.

 

Consider that she might not give a hoot. Consider also that your question might have shaken her to her core, rendering her unable to reply. Or anything in-between.... regardless, your feelings are not her responsibility.

 

You guys are quite wise. I think she's been dicking me around. That's the worst, when they're mad that you would dare be into them. I asked her a simple question almost a week ago, one I need to know and I know she's read it. It was short and sweet, ended with: "I don't what you see me as. How do you see me?". No response, not even the dreaded "I don't know".

 

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It's in no way her obligation to reply or even acknowledge it. YOU are responsible for your feelings.


Consider that she might not give a hoot. Consider also that your question might have shaken her to her core, rendering her unable to reply. Or anything in-between.... regardless, your feelings are not her responsibility.

 

 

True...this is a strange thing though. I think I've been sharing my emotions for years with a narcissist. She gives mixed signals, talks about very sexual things, then totally changes course. She lies...said her ex broke up with her, but turns out the opposite is true. She keeps him in the lurch pining, while she does whatever. Acts like an infant, often comes to people for emotional support, but never reciprocates...can't, really. Severely lacking in empathy. Negative, cynical, devious, little to no sense of humor. Gets more angry at trivial differences than anyone should. Gets angry at innocent comments or suggestions. Always always always has to be right, despite what the consequences are in proving so. VERY sensitive to personal critique, but VERY critical of others. Exploitative, yet easily exploited. It's sad.

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After my divorce, the very first lady I started dating fell very much in love with me - to the point where she was initiating conversations about "future plans". While she was very pretty, gave me plenty of attention, and was a sweet girl, I could see the spark starting to fade quickly after only several weeks. She was kind of a homebody and unadventerous.

But the worst thing, to me, was that this girl's cd collection consisted of Michael Bolton, Phil Collins, Celine Dion, Kenny G, and others of that ilk.

I totally could not reconcile that...I could only imagine nightmarish car trips to the beach or the mountains, or even just going to the store, having to listen to that kind of music. Shallow, maybe... but some semblance of musical compatibility is important to me.

So I broke it off, and broke that girls heart, and yes, I felt like a complete bastard, but it was best to shut that relationship down.

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True...this is a strange thing though. I think I've been sharing my emotions for years with a narcissist. She gives mixed signals, talks about very sexual things, then totally changes course. She lies...said her ex broke up with her, but turns out the opposite is true. She keeps him in the lurch pining, while she gets down with her swinger employers. Acts like an infant, often comes to people for emotional support, but never reciprocates...can't, really. Severely lacking in empathy. Negative, cynical, devious, little to no sense of humor. Gets more angry at trivial differences than anyone should. Gets angry at innocent comments or suggestions. Always always always has to be right, despite what the consequences are in proving so. VERY sensitive to personal critique, but VERY critical of others. Exploitative, yet easily exploited. It's sad.

 

 

I knew a girl like this... she answered to the name, "Go Away."

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