Members ShakaCthulu Posted February 14, 2010 Members Share Posted February 14, 2010 Nevermind. Impulsive. If you got in before the bell...congrats, welcome to my headspace, watch out for flying objects. Let's talk about unrequited and unrequitable love, shall we? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Phait Posted February 15, 2010 Members Share Posted February 15, 2010 Oh I have a story. Too tired to share right now. I still haven't figured out the ending either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beck Posted February 15, 2010 Members Share Posted February 15, 2010 Well, I kinda like unrequited love in a way... hard for me to put into words, but I think its part of the secret to long life. It doesn't matter how many people love you back... and in my life there's been a lot of people love me back... like way too {censored}ing many I think. I didn't plan it that way... it just sorta happened over time. Well, I suppose if I'd never loved and was never loved back I might feel differently. But the one that doesn't love you stirs the heart in a different way. IMO, it's good for the soul to have something just out of reach, especially for a musician/writer sort of person. It keeps a part of you alive... if that makes any sense. If I were completely content and had everything I desired I may never pick up a guitar again. That would be much worse than unrequited love. It Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cooterbrown Posted February 15, 2010 Members Share Posted February 15, 2010 Just once. I knew we would make a great couple, but I never shared my true feelings - she was married and that's always off-limits, in my book. I see her occasionally, and the pang is still there. She's still married, but so am I. It's all good...just a part of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ernest Buckley Posted February 15, 2010 Members Share Posted February 15, 2010 This topic is a loaded gun waiting to get pulled so... I have to pass at this time. All I will say is, unrequited love may be my best friend when it comes to writing songs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beck Posted February 15, 2010 Members Share Posted February 15, 2010 This topic is a loaded gun waiting to get pulled so... I have to pass at this time. All I will say is, unrequited love may be my best friend when it comes to writing songs. Exactly! There was a thread a while back on another forum where the question was Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ShakaCthulu Posted February 16, 2010 Author Members Share Posted February 16, 2010 You guys are quite wise. I think she's been dicking me around. That's the worst, when they're mad that you would dare be into them. I asked her a simple question almost a week ago, one I need to know and I know she's read it. It was short and sweet, ended with: "I don't what you see me as. How do you see me?". No response, not even the dreaded "I don't know". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Phait Posted February 16, 2010 Members Share Posted February 16, 2010 This topic is a loaded gun waiting to get pulled so... I have to pass at this time. All I will say is, unrequited love may be my best friend when it comes to writing songs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beck Posted February 16, 2010 Members Share Posted February 16, 2010 You guys are quite wise. I think she's been dicking me around. That's the worst, when they're mad that you would dare be into them. I asked her a simple question almost a week ago, one I need to know and I know she's read it. It was short and sweet, ended with: "I don't what you see me as. How do you see me?". No response, not even the dreaded "I don't know".I've felt pitiful, until I stopped groveling. A lack of an answer IS an answer on how she sees me...she sees me as a tool. Once I stopped letting the horrid way she was treating me bother me, I immediately felt better. I'm not sure if I'll send it or not, but Whoa! Maybe she didn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ShakaCthulu Posted February 21, 2010 Author Members Share Posted February 21, 2010 No. I never sent it. I have learned better over time. I follow Ambrose Bierce's advice to write an angry letter, but don't send it. I do it just to vent. Because I don't always know what someone else's deal is if I'm not right there. For all I know, she could have a boyfriend and doesn't wanna tell me, has a girlfriend because she is a total dyke and doesn't want to devastate me, isn't interested and doing so will make them REALLY not interested, etc. I always try to be the bigger person, even when people are not being upfront with boundaries. Unrequited love is...a two edged sword. It hurts the person loving, and it hurts the recipient by putting them in a position where they're getting far more than they ever asked for. Better to leave it alone and take care of mah own biz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rasputin1963 Posted February 21, 2010 Members Share Posted February 21, 2010 Is that Rip Taylor in your avatar? Grand Marshall of the Washington LGBT Pride Parade, I understand. Go ahead and ask him, or Joan Jett, if they know anything about unrequited or unrequitable love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ShakaCthulu Posted February 22, 2010 Author Members Share Posted February 22, 2010 Yep. The one and only Mr. Confetti. I would think...if someone was gay, unrequited love would be far, far worse. Because you're a ten percenter then. That means a 90% less chance of finding something requited. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beck Posted February 23, 2010 Members Share Posted February 23, 2010 No. I never sent it. I have learned better over time. I follow Ambrose Bierce's advice to write an angry letter, but don't send it. I do it just to vent. Because I don't always know what someone else's deal is if I'm not right there. For all I know, she could have a boyfriend and doesn't wanna tell me, has a girlfriend because she is a total dyke and doesn't want to devastate me, isn't interested and doing so will make them REALLY not interested, etc. I always try to be the bigger person, even when people are not being upfront with boundaries. Unrequited love is...a two edged sword. It hurts the person loving, and it hurts the recipient by putting them in a position where they're getting far more than they ever asked for. Better to leave it alone and take care of mah own biz. That Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members N88 Posted February 23, 2010 Members Share Posted February 23, 2010 You don't want to force resolution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ernest Buckley Posted February 23, 2010 Members Share Posted February 23, 2010 Love should be easy on you. Someone adores you for who you are Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ShakaCthulu Posted February 25, 2010 Author Members Share Posted February 25, 2010 I don't think will take long. If it's unrequited, if I'm having to "make the case" or feeling a need to force resolution so much as someone said, then it wasn't really love. Therefore it will be easier to get over. It's harder on the other person, really. And yeah, oddly enough it came during a very climactic transitional period. Also...I think she might be gayer than a handbag full of unicorns and some sort of narcissist too. LOL. I can pick em! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudolf von Hagenwil Posted February 25, 2010 Members Share Posted February 25, 2010 Mama. Where are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beck Posted February 25, 2010 Members Share Posted February 25, 2010 I completely agree with you Beck. When I met my wife, it was the easiest and the most awarding experience in my life. Even now... I`ve been with her for 12 years and I think she loves me more than ever and I`m still trying to figure that one out. That's very cool, Ernest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beck Posted February 25, 2010 Members Share Posted February 25, 2010 It's harder on the other person, really. And yeah, oddly enough it came during a very climactic transitional period. Yes it is, or at least it is for some of us. One of my saddest memories is having to make a break with a girl that didn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members coyote-1 Posted February 25, 2010 Members Share Posted February 25, 2010 It's in no way her obligation to reply or even acknowledge it. YOU are responsible for your feelings. Consider that she might not give a hoot. Consider also that your question might have shaken her to her core, rendering her unable to reply. Or anything in-between.... regardless, your feelings are not her responsibility. You guys are quite wise. I think she's been dicking me around. That's the worst, when they're mad that you would dare be into them. I asked her a simple question almost a week ago, one I need to know and I know she's read it. It was short and sweet, ended with: "I don't what you see me as. How do you see me?". No response, not even the dreaded "I don't know". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ShakaCthulu Posted February 26, 2010 Author Members Share Posted February 26, 2010 It's in no way her obligation to reply or even acknowledge it. YOU are responsible for your feelings.Consider that she might not give a hoot. Consider also that your question might have shaken her to her core, rendering her unable to reply. Or anything in-between.... regardless, your feelings are not her responsibility. True...this is a strange thing though. I think I've been sharing my emotions for years with a narcissist. She gives mixed signals, talks about very sexual things, then totally changes course. She lies...said her ex broke up with her, but turns out the opposite is true. She keeps him in the lurch pining, while she does whatever. Acts like an infant, often comes to people for emotional support, but never reciprocates...can't, really. Severely lacking in empathy. Negative, cynical, devious, little to no sense of humor. Gets more angry at trivial differences than anyone should. Gets angry at innocent comments or suggestions. Always always always has to be right, despite what the consequences are in proving so. VERY sensitive to personal critique, but VERY critical of others. Exploitative, yet easily exploited. It's sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cooterbrown Posted February 26, 2010 Members Share Posted February 26, 2010 After my divorce, the very first lady I started dating fell very much in love with me - to the point where she was initiating conversations about "future plans". While she was very pretty, gave me plenty of attention, and was a sweet girl, I could see the spark starting to fade quickly after only several weeks. She was kind of a homebody and unadventerous.But the worst thing, to me, was that this girl's cd collection consisted of Michael Bolton, Phil Collins, Celine Dion, Kenny G, and others of that ilk.I totally could not reconcile that...I could only imagine nightmarish car trips to the beach or the mountains, or even just going to the store, having to listen to that kind of music. Shallow, maybe... but some semblance of musical compatibility is important to me.So I broke it off, and broke that girls heart, and yes, I felt like a complete bastard, but it was best to shut that relationship down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members UstadKhanAli Posted February 26, 2010 Members Share Posted February 26, 2010 Wow. I really feel bad for these ladies that people have mentioned in this thread!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members swarley Posted February 26, 2010 Members Share Posted February 26, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beck Posted February 26, 2010 Members Share Posted February 26, 2010 True...this is a strange thing though. I think I've been sharing my emotions for years with a narcissist. She gives mixed signals, talks about very sexual things, then totally changes course. She lies...said her ex broke up with her, but turns out the opposite is true. She keeps him in the lurch pining, while she gets down with her swinger employers. Acts like an infant, often comes to people for emotional support, but never reciprocates...can't, really. Severely lacking in empathy. Negative, cynical, devious, little to no sense of humor. Gets more angry at trivial differences than anyone should. Gets angry at innocent comments or suggestions. Always always always has to be right, despite what the consequences are in proving so. VERY sensitive to personal critique, but VERY critical of others. Exploitative, yet easily exploited. It's sad. I knew a girl like this... she answered to the name, "Go Away." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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