Members rasputin1963 Posted June 30, 2012 Members Share Posted June 30, 2012 Working with KONTAKT and its libraries today. You have to be a PH.D just to understand the most basic patch tweaks. Still getting nasty latency delays, even though I have a computer that could eat nearly anyone's for lunch. File THAT under WTF. I propose that a new Disclaimer should be affixed in a visible place on new music softwares: CONGRATULATIONS ON PURCHASING OUR SOFTWARE. BEFORE YOU CAN BEGIN TO MAKE MUSIC THAT SOUNDS EVEN LIKE A NEANDERTHAL'S ROCK CLINK, YOU MUST WADE THROUGH OUR OVERWHELMING MULTIPLICITY OF CHOICES, MOST OF WHICH ARE ABBREVIATED ON THE GUI IN FLY-TURD-SIZE print, AND WHICH YOU PROBABLY WILL NEVER USE ANYWAY. AUTHORED IN 2011, OUR SOFTWARE GUI ONLY EXPANDS INTO A 600X400 FRAME ON YOUR MONITOR, A SIZE THAT HASN'T BEEN LEGIBLE OR ATTRACTIVE SINCE WINDOWS 95. THIS SOFTWARE REQUIRES THAT YOU PURCHASE OUR DONGLE WHICH COSTS 7.4 TIMES WHAT THE SOFTWARE ITSELF DID. DURING INSTALLATION, OUR SOFTWARE WILL INSTALL YOUR VST.DLL IN A CONVENIENT PLACE OF YOUR CHOOSING ON YOUR HARD DRIVE; THE CORRESPONDING SAMPLE LIBRARIES WILL BE CAREFULLY HIDDEN IN A WEIRD PLACE ON YOUR COMPUTER WHERE ABSOLUTELY NO-ONE SHALL EVER FIND THEM, NOT EVEN WINDOWS ITSELF. THE EXCITING RIFFS FOUND IN THESE LIBRARIES WERE MODELED BY BLIND GRAPEFRUIT JEFFERSON, A JAZZ MUSICIAN WHO DIED IN 1964 OF HEROIN OVERDOSE. HIS TALENT DWARFS YOURS IN WAYS YOU'RE NOT EVEN SMART ENOUGH TO PERCEIVE; BEBOP RIFFS WHICH ARE THE PRODUCT OF AN ANGRY, HOMELESS BLACK MAN LIVING IN JIM CROW AMERICA ON INSTRUMENTS COBBLED TOGETHER FROM DISCARDED SEALY POSTURE-PEDICS. SEVEN DEPARTMENTS LOCATED WORLDWIDE AUTHORED THIS SOFTWARE, AND DURING ITS DEVELOPMENT DID NOT SO MUCH AS SEND XMAS CARDS TO ONE ANOTHER. OUR ENGLISH MANUAL HAS BEEN TRANSLATED FROM THE ORIGINAL JAVANESE/BANTU/SANSKRIT BY A NINE YEAR OLD HEMICEPHALIC AMAZONIAN CHILD. AND SHOULD YOU EMAIL US FOR SUPPORT AT OUR HOME OFFICES IN HOCHSCHULE-BUTFUK, BAVARIA, NOT EVEN HE WILL HAVE SYMPATHY FOR YOU. ALSO: THIS SOFTWARE IS NOT TO BE USED. ITS EROTIC COVER ARTWORK OF NUDE BUSTY NEGRO WOMEN IS TO BE SHOWN OFF TO OTHERS IN HOPES THAT IT WILL MAKE THEM JEALOUS, GET YOU LAID, MAKE YOU SEEM COOL FOR A WEEK OR SO, AND MAKE YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE SOMEHOW A PART OF THE MUSIC INDUSTRY, WHICH YOU ARE MOST ASSUREDLY NOT. WHAT IS TODAY? BECAUSE THE SPECS, COMPATIBILITY AND WARRANTY FOR THIS SOFTWARE EXPIRE ON THAT DATE.YOURS, SCHI?KEN- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted June 30, 2012 Members Share Posted June 30, 2012 Man... if they only had a version that didn't require iLok, I'd buy it in a second! The program disk cover sounds great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rasputin1963 Posted June 30, 2012 Author Members Share Posted June 30, 2012 Man... if they only had a version that didn't require iLok, I'd buy it in a second!The program disk cover sounds great! [ATTACH=CONFIG]346772[/ATTACH] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Anderton Posted June 30, 2012 Members Share Posted June 30, 2012 Call me crazy...or maybe I'm psychic...but am I correct in sensing frustration? I'll be turning on the music computer in a bit, and will give you some Kontakt tips. You can definitely change the size, but as to latency...not sure about that. One of the things I like about Kontakt is you can operate on two levels - "I just wanna play stuff from a library" or "I am a rocket scientist who wants to adjust the amount of di-variable gnosis trim on the hepzibah envelopes." Unfortunately, I don't think there's much of an in-between. But this underscores another aspect you left out of your disclaimer: "THIS PRODUCT ASSUMES YOU HAVE BEEN USING IT SINCE VERSION 1.0, WHICH WAS ACTUALLY QUITE EASY TO UNDERSTAND, AND HAVE BEEN ABLE TO ASSIMILATE THE VARIOUS CHANGES MADE SINCE THEN OVER TIME, AND AT YOUR LEISURE. IF YOU ARE USING THIS SOFTWARE FOR THE FIRST TIME, EXPECT TO SPEND A WHOLE LOT OF TIME LEARNING ALL THE THINGS YOU HAVEN'T LEARNED OVER THE PAST DECADE." I call this "the Logic effect." Logic was one of the very early DAWs, and was therefore created before certain operational aspects became "standard." I think of DP in the same way. People who started out with Logic became used to "the Logic way of life," and for them, it makes complete sense. Those coming into Logic from other programs often find the program highly illogical but in many cases, it's just that Logic does things in a different way that's consistent in its own universe, and is not more difficult than other programs. Software samplers like Kontakt, MachFive, and the like are pretty complex beasts. Reason has two different samplers, the NN-19 and NN-XT, and are probably easier to wrap one's head around compared to other samplers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JeffLearman Posted June 30, 2012 Members Share Posted June 30, 2012 But this underscores another aspect you left out of your disclaimer: "THIS PRODUCT ASSUMES YOU HAVE BEEN USING IT SINCE VERSION 1.0, WHICH WAS ACTUALLY QUITE EASY TO UNDERSTAND, AND HAVE BEEN ABLE TO ASSIMILATE THE VARIOUS CHANGES MADE SINCE THEN OVER TIME, AND AT YOUR LEISURE. IF YOU ARE USING THIS SOFTWARE FOR THE FIRST TIME, EXPECT TO SPEND A WHOLE LOT OF TIME LEARNING ALL THE THINGS YOU HAVEN'T LEARNED OVER THE PAST DECADE."Ain't that the truth! I work at a major vendor for networking equipment, and the same disclaimer applies (except it's the last TWO decades that apply, including the major rewrite of software in the middle, where they broke all the best tricks and made everything more complicated, for your networking pleasure!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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