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I Tried To Write A Letter

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  • I Tried To Write A Letter

    Not sure where this sits in today's musical climate. I'm a 70's throw-back and it shows in my work. The lyrics might seem decadent or timeless, your sensibilities telling you which, but musically I lean towards a sing-songy lyric above a fairly even melody.

    I Tried To Write A Letter (Remember that first lost love?)

    I tried to write a letter to you
    Couldn’t make the call
    Didn’t want to hear your voice
    Still reeling from the fall

    Pen and paper didn’t work
    The words just cost too much
    Staring down at the table
    Through another drink of crutch

    I’ve walked a mile around this room
    It’s become a game
    A competition with myself
    It always ends the same
    Yea it always ends the same

    So I closed my eyes and wished it all away. (Chorus)

    I took to strolling round the block
    To look for something new
    Maybe changes in the scenery
    To take my mind off you

    I’ll be alright, I know I will
    I’m not really all that bad
    I just never thought I’d ever see
    The day that I’d been had

    I’m taking time to think it through
    I’m in between right now
    I should have listened to my head
    But...I loved you... anyhow.


    And I close my eyes to wish you far away. (Chorus)


    Chorus-

    Falling hard both in and out
    Love took a part from me
    Going in it shut my eyes
    I still can’t clearly see
    Told it’s just a fact of life
    Wiser people say
    But I never knew that I would have to pay.

    https://app.box.com/s/2mw9tt3qttknuj1rmksw5aj2ym5xqee9
    Last edited by Idunno; 08-05-2017, 04:29 PM.
    Fisher House Foundation

  • #2
    Great lyrics!

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    • #3
      Hey--
      I have a lot of thoughts about your track. I'll focus on criticism as this might be the most useful. Obviously this is opinion, take or leave.
      I think musically it does have a cool 70s folk throwback vibe, somewhere between America and Love maybe. It does sound a little frozen in time, but you're clearly not trying to storm the charts here. Great, great guitar playing....I'm jealous.
      I think there's maybe a disconnect between the airy wistful folk vibe of the music and melody and some of the hard drinking, down on your luck lyric, which feels more like a bluesy rock thing in places.
      I think the lyric could be tightened up a lot, there's a lot of fluff and cliche (e.g. "I took to strolling round the block").
      Your title, which you need to repeat I think, is "Falling Hard Both In and Out" - that's a unique phrase. You have a few more (drink of crutch).
      I think the second verse is mostly a throwaway and provides literally no new information that would make this song more interesting and engaging...how were you "had"...how is walking a mile around a room a competition, between what and what? how did you fall, why did you fall, why did you love her so much you were so blind? You never say, you just tell us a bunch of stuff about you and your feelings vs. show us any detail that would make it real, so I get bored...why should I care? And I check out.
      Very cool, thanks for posting.
      My $.02, take or leave.
      Hope this helps.
      Last edited by mbfrancis; 08-08-2017, 01:11 PM.

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