Members stickboymusic Posted March 30, 2017 Members Share Posted March 30, 2017 So I tracked a backing track.....and then had nothing to do with it Sent it to MB Francis and with a few hours he had tracked a vocal and sorted a melody Couple more hours on production and a whole song done with no stress I haven't written for ages but this just worked See what you think https://soundcloud.com/stickboy/carine-come-clean-a-new-song-collab Carine (come clean) You walked I ranescaping down the sandThe waves must have drowned all your laughterYou took my handand torched my best laid plansBut I’m not the one needs looking after CARINE, COME CLEANyou don’t have that much to hideCARRINE, COME CLEANY’know I’ll still be on your sideif you’re smiling freehappy just like me,you don’t need to seeme proven wrongshe says, “you and I’ve just stuck around too long” The days grew coldWe spoke in secret codeWith all out plots growing thickerYou took my handand pulled me onto the sand but my head kept spinning quicker CHORUS what happened to the timespent scouring traffic signsin desperate hopes to findsome shortcut home nowCarine says, “let me steer,The one way out of hereIs through that sad, thin veneerThat we’re not alone now”No no no! CHORUS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted March 31, 2017 Members Share Posted March 31, 2017 Nice lyric. I couldn't find the music track on Soundcloud, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted March 31, 2017 Author Members Share Posted March 31, 2017 Nice lyric. I couldn't find the music track on Soundcloud, though. Prob not the final version but should work now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted March 31, 2017 Members Share Posted March 31, 2017 This is really, really good! Well done, guys! I would only make one small suggestion: I'd change "and pulled me on to the sand" to "and pulled me down tothe sand." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted March 31, 2017 Members Share Posted March 31, 2017 This is really, really good! Well done, guys! I would only make one small suggestion: I'd change "and pulled me on to the sand" to "and pulled me down tothe sand." Nice, thanks LCK! Your suggestion repeats "down...sand"...which is both good/bad. FYI I re-wrote the first lines since: I walked you ran escaping down the sand The waves must have drowned out your laughter Better fit, and more my meaning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators daddymack Posted April 1, 2017 Moderators Share Posted April 1, 2017 you need to shoot a video and get this up on youtube! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted April 2, 2017 Members Share Posted April 2, 2017 Nice, thanks LCK! Your suggestion repeats "down...sand"...which is both good/bad. FYI I re-wrote the first lines since: I walked you ran escaping down the sand The waves must have drowned out your laughter Better fit, and more my meaning. Yeah, that's great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted April 20, 2017 Members Share Posted April 20, 2017 Yes, VERY nicely done boys. Did you guys get it mastered yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted April 21, 2017 Author Members Share Posted April 21, 2017 This experiment was a way to get a track done quickly and stop Mr MB spending 4 years completing a track and it never seeing the light of day..... .....he has now got a real drummer involved to add to this The journey starts again. Watch this space (see you in 2020) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted April 25, 2017 Members Share Posted April 25, 2017 Hey now...it's almost done, just needs female vox and maybe violin. And maybe B3. And gang vox. Damn... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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