Members drobster67 Posted July 27, 2016 Members Share Posted July 27, 2016 Okay, this is my first posting of a song on here. I'd like to get some unbiased feedback on it...the good, the bad, the ugly! This is a song called "Some Other Day" and the link to the song is: http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13268428 Based on comments of other songs, people seem to like the lyrics, so they are posted below. Thanks in advance! Dan (Verse 1)Well it's some other daythere's another news storythat makes you scratch your headThere's some other manwho's done someone wrongEverybody wants him deadThere's no respect for ourselvesno respect for each otherso what are we going to do?We'll hide from what's rightStand for what's wrongWe'll all die trying butwe'll never get along (CHORUS)We will save the world,some other dayWe don't have the timeWe don't know the way We can roll the dicethat it wont happen againIt don't need to changeit's how it's always been Let's ignore the truthtill the heat cools downPretend that the problemis in some other town (is in someone else's town) and I don't knowwhat else to sayjust leave it alonewe will fix it Some Other Day (Verse 2)I read a post todayfrom a friend of a friendtalking about human rightsCalling out a group of peoplewho were stating their viewsAnother anonymous fightAttacks from the leftand attacks from the rightWhich side should we choose?Because divided we winand united we fallIt really doesn't mattercause we're gonna lose it all (repeat chorus) There's a war on our frontthere is blood on our back We only understandif it's white or if it's black Let's complain some moredoesn't matter what we say Someone else will fix itsome other day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted July 28, 2016 Members Share Posted July 28, 2016 Good tune. Think about bringing the vocals in way earlier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members drobster67 Posted July 29, 2016 Author Members Share Posted July 29, 2016 Thanks Leonard. I have a tendency to have a lot going on before the vocals start...it's a weakness of mine (too much prog rock when I was younger?). The result is basically a song that is longer than it should/needs to be and something I need to work on in general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted July 29, 2016 Members Share Posted July 29, 2016 Not a weakness....just a style thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members drobster67 Posted July 30, 2016 Author Members Share Posted July 30, 2016 I watched this Tom Petty/Heartbreakers documentary recently. Mike Campbell (guitarist) said "Don't Bore Us, Get to the Chorus" which I took as great words of wisdom. That's going to be my new mantra as I write new stuff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted August 2, 2016 Members Share Posted August 2, 2016 I like the feel of the intro, but I think I felt the same as LeonardScaper, but I'll say it a different way... the intro starts to become repetitive. If going for a long intro, recommend changing it up. Otherwise, shorten. Just my 2 cents. The lyrics are kick butt. Very timely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members drobster67 Posted August 2, 2016 Author Members Share Posted August 2, 2016 Thanks for the feedback Rickidoo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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