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"Someone to Dream About"


LCK

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The last three lines of this came to me out of nowhere the other night.

 

I just jotted down a "dummy" lyric this morning.

 

The music is still forming in my mind, though for now it's sounding a lot like

.

 

"Someone to Dream About"

 

If I awake

as the day starts to break

and stare into space

with a smile on my face

it’s probably true

I’ve been dreaming of you.

 

If I stand

with the keys in my hand

and I seem

to be lost in a dream

it’s probably true

I’ve been dreaming of you.

 

I admit that it’s lonely

to dream of you only,

but what can I do?

For how can one live without

someone to dream about?

For me that someone is you.

 

 

Words & Music © 2015 by Lee Charles Kelley

West Sixty Ninth Street Music

 

 

 

 

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Good stuff.

 

In the second verse I'd like to see you tie in the keys more. That's a cool image, and you kind of do it with "lost," but I'd like to see you go further with image. I'm not sure how to do it, but the picture I have is your aimlessly wandering around a parking lot not sure where you parked or which car is yours but it doesn't really matter because you don't know how to get to that person anyway.

 

How you fit that into two lines I have no idea.

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Good start as usual.

I disagree with Ryan - in my book the 1st two verses work just fine.

The 1st two lines of the Bridge however don't make immediate sense. I had to read them a few times to get your intended meaning.

I see you mean that you have to dream in place of the reality of her. I however, read it to mean that its lonely to be dreaming only about you (and not others).

Do you think this ambiguity can be tidied up?

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The 1st two lines of the Bridge however don't make immediate sense. I had to read them a few times to get your intended meaning.

I see you mean that you have to dream in place of the reality of her. I however, read it to mean that its lonely to be dreaming only about you (and not others).

Do you think this ambiguity can be tidied up?

 

I don't know. Looking at it now, I have no idea what it means. Place holder words?

 

 

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A few little changes...

 

"Someone to Dream About"

 

 

 

Intro.

I admit that it’s lonely

to dream of you only.

But what's there to do?

 

For how can one live without

someone to dream about?

For me that someone is you.

 

1.

If I awake

before day starts to break

with eyes all aglaze,

and my head's in a daze

it’s probably true

I’ve been dreaming of you.

What else can I do

but keep on dreaming?

 

2.

And if I should stand

with the keys still in my hand

as I stare at the door

for five minutes or more,

it’s probably true

I’ve been dreaming of you.

What else can I do

but go on dreaming?

 

Words & Music © 2015 by Lee Charles Kelley

West Sixty Ninth Street Music

 

 

 

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Wow, this is great - super tight, great craft.

 

I almost don't want to comment yet, would hate to interrupt the flow. I too would like to know what's going in with the keys, how about:

 

If I stand

with the keys in my hand

and sway to and fro

with nowhere to go

it’s probably true

I’ve been dreaming of you.

 

I agree also the bridge feels incomplete, maybe reveal what's going on here - you've never met, she's a character in a book, she's left and not coming back, dunno.

 

Strong stuff.

 

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Wow, this is great - super tight, great craft.

 

I almost don't want to comment yet, would hate to interrupt the flow. I too would like to know what's going in with the keys, how about:

 

If I stand

with the keys in my hand

and sway to and fro

with nowhere to go

it’s probably true

I’ve been dreaming of you.

 

I agree also the bridge feels incomplete, maybe reveal what's going on here - you've never met, she's a character in a book, she's left and not coming back, dunno.

 

Strong stuff.

 

That's nice, the "nowhere to go, but "sway to and fro" reminds me a little of Sondheim's "not going left, not going right," in his song, "Losing My Mind."

 

But I like "nowhere to go..."

 

By the way, I've got the beginnings of a tune now too...

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Good start as usual.

I disagree with Ryan - in my book the 1st two verses work just fine.

The 1st two lines of the Bridge however don't make immediate sense. I had to read them a few times to get your intended meaning.

I see you mean that you have to dream in place of the reality of her. I however, read it to mean that its lonely to be dreaming only about you (and not others).

Do you think this ambiguity can be tidied up?

 

I didn't mean to imply the second verse didn't work. I just thought it might work better :)

 

I really like the changes. "Nowhere to go..." is nice, but "stare at the door for five minutes more" is great too.

 

Only thing that sticks out to me now as maybe needing attention is the word one in "how can one live without you." It's probably a personal preference thing but it seems more like prose than song to me.

 

An idea, what if you used the intro as a chorus?

 

I admit that it’s lonely

to dream of you only.

But what's there to do?

 

If I awake

before day starts to break

with eyes all aglaze,

and my head's in a daze

it’s probably true

I’ve been dreaming of you.

What else can I do

but keep on dreaming?

 

I admit that it’s lonely

to dream of you only.

But what's there to do?

 

For how can one live without

someone to dream about?

For me that someone is you.

 

And if I should stand

with the keys still in my hand

as I stare at the door

for five minutes or more,

it’s probably true

I’ve been dreaming of you.

What else can I do

but go on dreaming?

 

I admit that it’s lonely

to dream of you only.

But what's there to do?

 

For how can one live without

someone to dream about?

For me that someone is you.

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Maybe this...

 

 

1.

If I awaken

before the birds

and I’m overtaken

by thoughts without words

it’s probably true

I’ve been dreaming of you.

What else can I do

but keep on dreaming?

 

2.

And should I stand there

keys in the door

and leave my hand there

five minutes or more,

it’s probably true

I’m dreaming of you.

What else can I do

but go on dreaming?

 

Coda

For how can one live without

someone to dream about?

For me that someone is you.

 

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^^^ This time I agree with Ryan…….smiley-wink.png' alt='16x16_smiley-wink.png.ac1518ec0dabe458f31c1303ed9ec588.png' alt='smiley-wink'>.png'>

 

Glazed and dazed? Yeah, I don't like that after all.

 

Plus, I've changed the rhyme scheme.

 

Still working out the kinks, though...

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I'm not happy with the first verse. (I've used the awaken/mistaken rhyme before.)

 

But here's the latest incarnation.

"Someone to Dream About"

 

 

 

Intro.

I admit that it’s lonely

just to dream of you only.

But by now you should know

I’m no good at letting go…

 

1.

When I awaken

with your voice in my ear

but find I’m mistaken

to think you’re still here

it’s probably true

I was dreaming of you.

What else can I do

but keep on dreaming?

 

2.

And if I just stand there

with my keys in the door,

leaving my hand there

for five minutes or more,

it’s probably true

I was dreaming of you.

What else can I do

but go on dreaming?

 

Coda

For what good is life without

someone to dream about?

For me that someone is you.

 

Words & Music © 2015 Lee Charles Kelley

West Sixty Ninth Street Music (ASCAP)

 

 

 

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New direction...

 

1.

If I forget what I was saying

or I cross against the light,

and if orchestras keep playing

in the middle of the night,

then it’s probably true

I’ve been dreaming of you.

Well, what else can I do

but keep on dreaming?

 

 

2.

If I don’t notice that it’s raining,

or leave my cell phone in a cab,

if a barkeep keeps complaining

“You already paid your tab,”

then it’s probably true

I’ve been dreaming of you.

Well, what else can I do

but go on dreaming?

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The latest incarnation of this lyric...

 

 

"Someone to Dream About"

 

 

 

1.

If I forget what I was saying

if I cross against the light,

if I hear orchestras playing

in the middle of the night,

then it’s probably true

I’ve been dreaming of you.

Well, what else can I do

but keep on dreaming?

 

2.

If I don’t notice that it’s raining,

or leave my walleth in a cab,

if a barkeep keeps complaining

“You already paid your tab,”

then it’s probably true

I’ve been dreaming of you.

Well, what else can I do

but go on dreaming?

 

 

(repeat first verse, musically)

 

 

 

3.

If my friends all say it must stop,

this constant thinking about us,

if I’m waiting at a bus stop

but forget to board the bus,

then it’s probably true

I’ve been dreaming of you.

Well, what else can I do

but go on dreaming?

 

Coda

For what good is life without

someone to dream about?

For me that someone is you.

 

 

Words & Music © 2015 Lee Charles Kelley

West Sixty Ninth Street Music (ASCAP)

 

 

 

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Wowza, I think the latest incarnation (is post #15) is good. I like all the specific examples. It seems as though it's evolved into a different song.

 

I still think post #5 had something really special about it. Well crafted but seemingly effortless.

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Wowza, I think the latest incarnation (is post #15) is good. I like all the specific examples. It seems as though it's evolved into a different song.

 

I still think post #5 had something really special about it. Well crafted but seemingly effortless.

 

Thanks!

 

For me the problem with the earlier version is that it's made up of motifs I've already used in the past. I wanted to take a fresher angle.

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