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Falling Too


tony333

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So about a month ago now an old high school friend took his own life. I had not seen him in many many years but we were close growing up. It affected me in ways I am still not sure about. And then in 2 days I had this song penned and recorded. I know my playing lacks and the singing is worse but I really like this song.

 

 

 

"Falling Too"

 

We were young and we were wild

Band of brothers not an only child

Work all day and play all night

Breaking hearts trying to make things right

Thick as thieves we made our way

Tomorrow aint coming got to live for today

Vandal smile and graveyard eyes

Much to early to say good bye

 

And we we were falling just like you

And you needed something to grab onto

And we could always count on you

You needed someone to hold on you

 

 

Old park roads and Friday nights

Looking for love not afraid to fight

If you messed with one you got us all

Heads in the clouds not afraid to fall

See this blood runs deep and this blood runs true

Grow up to fast what’s a boy to do

So we headed out going our own ways

Words not spoken no need to say

 

And we we were falling just like you

And you needed something to grab onto

And we could always count on you

You needed someone to hold on you

 

(Break)

 

 

And we we were falling just like you

And you needed something to grab onto

And we could always count on you

You needed someone to hold on you

 

(slow)

 

Now we sit around and speak your name

Choke back the tears and the grief and the pain

Black coat and tie and an old church pew

Now we all got a hold on you

 

 

Cause we were falling just like you

Yes we we were falling too

 

 

 

Tony

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Lyrically, I think the choruses are spot on. There are a some phrases in the verses that are getting into cliche territory, "band of brothers," "thick as thieves," and "heads in the clouds." If you decide to rewrite any of them, I'd try to go more in a "vandal smile and graveyard eyes" direction. That's a killer line.

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I think the lyrics are fine...heart felt. Very good communication....as for the sound, try and find a chord change at the 5th line in the verse to take us somewhere with a sonic change for a different feel....then come back to your tonic chord on the last line...same for the chorus on the 3rd line use a different chord...hope that helps.

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Very heart felt lyric.

 

I agree with Ryan that some of the lines are a bit cliched.

 

You may want to keep the lyric as is, because it comes from a rush of personal emotion. But the problem with cliches is that they're not personal. Oddly enough, the more generalized you make something, the less it hits home while the more specific you get -- specific to your own personal story and feelings -- the more the listener feels it as if it's happening to them.

 

Just my two cents...

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Thank you all for the feed back. I get the cliche stuff a little. The "thick as thieves" line is the one that sticks out to me and i actually had something else written but can t find that scrap of paper. The chord change makes more since to me. i will have to mess around with that.

 

I know its hard to imagine because of how it was recorded but in my head the first parts are electric guitar with a band (i dont have one) and when it gets to the slow down it goes to acoustic only and the single voice.

 

i tried to rerecord it like that and the speaker on my amp blew.

 

Again thanks.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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This is a very personal song. I think the best songs are often personal songs because they reach into the songwriter's soul. By definition the song is everything it should be out of the gate.

 

I want to comment musically. And I am commenting as someone say who hears it on the radio and therefore unaware of the personal nature of the song.

 

I think the song could benefit from change up - exactly where is up to you - but it (musically) became repetative. Maybe try a contrasting (and rising) bridge, or some change in tempo - something to switch emotional gears and break up the repetativeness of the chord sequence used throughout the song.

 

Again, as a personal song, its 100% done as is.

 

Just my thoughts.

 

My condolences for your loss.

 

Best,

 

Rick

 

 

 

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