Members LCK Posted September 11, 2015 Members Share Posted September 11, 2015 I don't know if this is a lyric or a poem. The idea was to go "verb-less" and see what happens... "An Odd Little Town (Without Any Verbs)" The cars along Main Street,the snow banks and curbs,an odd little town,without any verbs. A tea shop, so fragrantfrom strange foreign herbs,an odd little townwithout any verbs. Conjunctions? And how!Prepositions? Those too!Adverbs and adjectives?Quite likely a few. Far away from the cities,the strip malls and burbs,just an odd little townwithout any verbs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 11, 2015 Members Share Posted September 11, 2015 This is a fun little poem or song. I can hear Noel Coward or Neil Innes doing it.Can you also do a town without nouns? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted September 11, 2015 Author Members Share Posted September 11, 2015 This is a fun little poem or song. I can hear Noel Coward or Neil Innes doing it. Can you also do a town without nouns? That would be very hard to do because town is a noun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 11, 2015 Members Share Posted September 11, 2015 I thought that as an author, you might have a sleight of hand with inferred nouns or noun substitutes…………..png.197c47f720636f02390cc2b0a33804da.png' alt='smiley-veryhappy'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted September 11, 2015 Author Members Share Posted September 11, 2015 It's much easier to sidestep verbs or make them implied than to write with no nouns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted September 11, 2015 Members Share Posted September 11, 2015 This is great. I think it could work as a poem or as a lyric. "Quite likely a few" sounds like it would fit better in a poem. I'm curious to know how long it would have taken me to pick up on the fact there are no verbs If you hadn't come out and said it. The reference to a the tea shop stands out because it is a little more specific than the rest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted September 11, 2015 Members Share Posted September 11, 2015 I like the potential for this - and i have a suggestion - food for thought. Basically, so far in the story, we learn that the town is verbless, but does have other language constructs. What if? you weaved in something about the consequences of being verbless - either something they can't do in that town - some consequence of not having verbs. and since verbs are actions, baseballs remain on the ground, cars are left in garages etc. Please don't ask me for more examples!!!! :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted September 11, 2015 Author Members Share Posted September 11, 2015 Coda: No one sleeps no one dreams,no one smiles, no one's kissedin this odd little townwhere verbs don't exist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 11, 2015 Members Share Posted September 11, 2015 Coda: No one sleeps no one dreams, no one smiles, no one's kissed in this odd little town where verbs don't exist. Hmmm……If they don't do these things, then what do they do? If they do nothing then why set up the verses with cars and a teashop? Maybe you do a Coda which says that people sleep and people dream, smile and kiss. People still live their lives where verbs don't exist. My thought for the morning. I'll go and put out the verbs in the trash and ………….preposition the rest of the morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted September 11, 2015 Members Share Posted September 11, 2015 This is wonderful, outstanding. I don't have much to add to this at this point except I wish the lines about Conjunctions and Prepositions actually used those parts of speech more demonstrably. I love this too: No one sleeps no one dreams,no one smiles, no one's kissedin this odd little townwhere verbs don't exist. Maybe the point is that without ACTION life has no meaning. Maybe you set it up that they are people who live in their heads. Dunno. Love it, though, shows real craft. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted September 12, 2015 Author Members Share Posted September 12, 2015 I wish the lines about Conjunctions and Prepositions actually used those parts of speech more demonstrably. Yeah, in the bridge I got an AND for the conjunctions, and QUITE and LIKELY for the adverbs and adjectives, but I didn't get a preposition IN there, nor did I get any NOUNS. I'm working on it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Delmont Posted November 7, 2015 Members Share Posted November 7, 2015 Yeah, in the bridge I got an AND for the conjunctions, and QUITE and LIKELY for the adverbs and adjectives, but I didn't get a preposition IN there, nor did I get any NOUNS. I'm working on it... Actually, without verbs, the likelihood of finding an adverb is zip-point-diddly-squat. Nouns you had aplenty! This is a totally great lyric! With that lilt, it's begging to go beyond poetry. It definitely wants to be a song. Get back to work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Delmont Posted November 7, 2015 Members Share Posted November 7, 2015 Coda: No one sleeps no one dreams, no one smiles, no one's kissed in this odd little town where verbs don't exist. Yup. Solid gold. You're there, man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tbry Posted November 7, 2015 Members Share Posted November 7, 2015 Coda: No one sleeps no one dreams,no one smiles, no one's kissedin this odd little townwhere verbs don't exist. That is perfect... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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