Members nat whilk II Posted August 15, 2015 Members Share Posted August 15, 2015 https://soundcloud.com/natwhilkii1/what-to-do-with-this This is 2+ minutes of a song in process. Two sections, that flow into each other - but neither is "verse" nor "chorus" yet. No lyrics, no main melody, no vocals yet. "What to do with this" is not the real title, it's where I'm at with the thing. I need a spark as to the mood message - what does it seem to evoke? I'm not finding a basic idea in spite of putting a lot of time into it so far. Or should I leave it instrumental? That would be the easiest thing...repeat the whole thing once more with some variations here and there and done. As it stands, it probably seems to meander at bit, because it's intended to back a main vocal melody that carries the main musical message. So I'd have come up with something to solve that. Any comments appreciated - on the mix, the mood, the construction, whatever... nat whilk ii Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted August 15, 2015 Members Share Posted August 15, 2015 I know what I would do with it - read on and see if this shoe fits…….. There is a lot of melodic movement already, and instead of having a vocal following it, I'd let the melodic movement remain in the backing and do a vocal that was fairly level and even. Think 'I am the Walrus' - it does exactly that with all those changes underneath. As far as a lyric is concerned, I'd open my file of one liners and couplets stored for a rainy day, and use the Bowie method.The music has a strong mood and would support any enigmatic nonsense. Anyway, that's what I would try in the first instance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nat whilk II Posted August 15, 2015 Author Members Share Posted August 15, 2015 I know what I would do with it - read on and see if this shoe fits…….. There is a lot of melodic movement already, and instead of having a vocal following it, I'd let the melodic movement remain in the backing and do a vocal that was fairly level and even. Think 'I am the Walrus' - it does exactly that with all those changes underneath. As far as a lyric is concerned, I'd open my file of one liners and couplets stored for a rainy day, and use the Bowie method. The music has a strong mood and would support any enigmatic nonsense. Anyway, that's what I would try in the first instance. Thx, OGP. Yeah, I was thinking about long notes for the vocal, sort of sailing over the top of the busy backing stuff. Pondering your suggestions, the backing track sounds dreamier, spacier to me now. I might go for "I dreamed myself a dream" sort of thing. I remember lots of dreams and I have all sorts of recurring dreams that evolve over time. My actual flying dream has evolved over time this way - When I was a kid, my flying dreams were pretty standard. I'm out on a hill on a bright breezy day...take a running start then push off and up I go...or not. Sometimes I just couldn't get any lift so I'd just float a few feet and back down. Other times I'd go way high, maybe 500 feet up and drift around in utter bliss, looking at the tiny things on the ground. But no real control...I'd descend slowly at some point, there was nothing I could do to stay up there once the descent started. Occasionally there would be a train below me, running in the same direction and I'd float down towards it, frightened that I'd land on it - but just before complete panic, I'd wake up. For some 30+ years, in these dreams my flying ability was my secret - no one else in the dream ever saw me or knew. Then for some reason, in these dreams, I started saying to myself, "ya know, it's time I just let people know I can do this, really. I owe it to myself and in a strange way, even to them, since it's not known that human flight is even possible." So for another stretch of years I would dream that I'd fly around as usual, and I could steer myself to some extent, but whenever I'd try to steer myself to where people could see me, I'd go up too high and I was never sure anyone could see me or even realize what they were seeing if they could. Then - and this is just in the last 10 years or so - I managed to actually fly inside some building or other. A big church or a large terminal or office building - a few times even in a wide hallway, crowded with people (how could they miss seeing me, right?) But to my disappointment, they would notice, but hardly react at all. I sensed some resentment or jealousy or dislike emanating from them. I'd see a glance here and there in my direction, quickly withdrawn and I'd be ignored. There's a great irony here in that as I became increasingly absorbed with being "seen", I also lost the original bliss of the experience. So...as for a song, I could have one verse be the childhood version, and two more verses - one where I try to reveal myself but fly too high, the last where I'm actually in a crowd, indoors....but to no avail. To me, all these dreams encapsulate the way artistic types feel about their gift and how people relate to them as artists so much of the time...ya know? nat whilk ii Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted August 15, 2015 Members Share Posted August 15, 2015 It's a great backing track. And I think your flying idea is right on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 15, 2015 Moderators Share Posted August 15, 2015 Cool track! I'd call it "what to do with this". You find a note on your fridge from her that ends with 'love you' but the body of it seems to say something else between the lines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted August 15, 2015 Members Share Posted August 15, 2015 So...as for a song, I could have one verse be the childhood version, and two more verses - one where I try to reveal myself but fly too high, the last where I'm actually in a crowd, indoors....but to no avail. To me, all these dreams encapsulate the way artistic types feel about their gift and how people relate to them as artists so much of the time...ya know? nat whilk ii This looks difficult to achieve in song - a danger of being explanatory and prosaic. The music has a terrific dreamy element and perhaps the lyric can be fairly esoteric. There's a Sufi saying that, 'Most people live their lives asleep in a nightmare of unfulfilment'. Perhaps describe the people you mentioned going about their lives in an unconscious way while some awaken and take to the skies. Maybe some dream a different dream. Just a possibility………. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tbry Posted August 16, 2015 Members Share Posted August 16, 2015 I spent a little time reading your description and though this is very rough and, most likely not that good, I thought it might head you off in the direction you truly want to go...it could be first person or 3rd or whatever. I feel a J Lennon kind of mystical song vibe if the words can be matched up. His flying ability was his secretIt was time to let them know he can do thisHe managed to fly inside of a churchFlew too high scraped the ceiling with a kiss How could they miss seeing me he thoughtHe’d watch them see a glance here and thereQuickly they withdrew totally ignoredPeople starring blindly at open air Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nat whilk II Posted August 17, 2015 Author Members Share Posted August 17, 2015 This looks difficult to achieve in song - a danger of being explanatory and prosaic. The music has a terrific dreamy element and perhaps the lyric can be fairly esoteric. Good point - I'm not planning on telling my whole dream story, just sketching essentials. More of a mysterious mood piece than a story song. Cool track! I'd call it "what to do with this". You find a note on your fridge from her that ends with 'love you' but the body of it seems to say something else between the lines. Oh, that's a great song-starter idea. Not for my current tune, but..hmm....C&W maybe? I stumbled in late, tempting my fate shipwreck in my head and the note said (da..da..da..) Gone Food in the fridge You can have it all Check the messages you had a call It's a great backing track. And I think your flying idea is right on. Thx, Lee. I trust your instincts. I spent a little time reading your description and though this is very rough and, most likely not that good, I thought it might head you off in the direction you truly want to go...it could be first person or 3rd or whatever. I feel a J Lennon kind of mystical song vibe if the words can be matched up. His flying ability was his secret It was time to let them know he can do this He managed to fly inside of a church Flew too high scraped the ceiling with a kiss How could they miss seeing me he thought He’d watch them see a glance here and there Quickly they withdrew totally ignored People starring blindly at open air I like the blind staring into open air image....kind of creepy. I'll put your ideas into the pot, thx! This tune is going to take some work. I'm ready for one of those easy come songs, but it's not happening right now. nat whilk ii Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted August 17, 2015 Members Share Posted August 17, 2015 +1 to the title could be "What to Do With This" I do think you're idea about the flying dreams is a REALLY good one, but that's alot of ground to cover in one song. To really get the story across, it's the type of thing you could do over the course of 3 or 4. I also think it can work as a mysterious mood piece. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jackslappy Posted August 18, 2015 Members Share Posted August 18, 2015 A perfectly lovely piece. I write strictly instrumental music, so I don't have a clue as to how lyrics work, but I can see how this piece could work very nicely as an intro, or even an outro if it was worked correctly. Very good work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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