Members bee3 Posted August 11, 2015 Members Share Posted August 11, 2015 Quick rough iPhone recording idea: I don't need the city lightsTo have my funOooohhhh I'm a lucky one I prefer the morning lightMorning coffee with someoneOooohhh I'm a lucky one I've got good years behind meA stable familyI've been in love with the right oneyeah I'm a lucky one [video=youtube;Tq8tv8m7jlE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tq8tv8m7jlE Thoughts? Does it sound like something else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted August 11, 2015 Members Share Posted August 11, 2015 I think it should say And fell in love with the right one Maybe also I'm the lucky one Good song Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted August 11, 2015 Author Members Share Posted August 11, 2015 Excellent. Thanks Stick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted August 12, 2015 Members Share Posted August 12, 2015 Go for it Justin - it's a good start, and it doesn't sound anything like anything else I know. Being a keyboardista, you probably know Alan Price's work. I really loved his soundtrack for the film 'O Lucky Man' back in the 70's.It's nothing like your song - totally different subject, but I thought I'd post it just in case you've never heard it (being so young and all). [video=youtube;lK3P97RfVaI] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted August 12, 2015 Author Members Share Posted August 12, 2015 I'm in my 40s!!! Far from young. I do love that song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted August 12, 2015 Members Share Posted August 12, 2015 Nice. My only quibble is rhyming "one" with "one." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil O'Keefe Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 It made me think of Freedy Johnston's The Lucky One, but it's quite a bit different... it's more about gambling. [video=youtube;eOQUiVcOc2k] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted August 13, 2015 Members Share Posted August 13, 2015 I'm in my 40s!!! Far from young. I do love that song. It's all relative. Just as I remember feeling young at fortysomething, I bet you remember feeling young at twentysomething……. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted August 13, 2015 Members Share Posted August 13, 2015 It's a great start and a super sweet sentiment. The formula you have established for other verses works really well. v1 Don't need/wantv2 prefer this waychorus that says why It does feel like the same words keep showing up though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted August 14, 2015 Members Share Posted August 14, 2015 Love it, wonderful. Only two things for me: * I wish the B section was a little more differentiated from the A sections. Maybe *start* with "the lucky one" if you're going to restate it (vs doing it at the end again). * "Stable family" feels like something that should be described vs. said outright. Great start. Sounds like a lot of things, but it's not derivative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted August 14, 2015 Members Share Posted August 14, 2015 * "Stable family" feels like something that should be described vs. said outright. I second that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jackslappy Posted August 18, 2015 Members Share Posted August 18, 2015 Lucky is a universal value. It makes for a great idea for a song. The music is quite sweet too. Care must be taken with the rhyme scheme. Beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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