Members rickidoo Posted July 24, 2015 Members Share Posted July 24, 2015 Bee3 posted some lyrics the other day that had a line in it that absolutely captured my imagination. I hope Bee you won't be upset at me, but I liked it so much I immediately sat down and wrote a song around it. The line was "Make Every Day the Best Day", and to me, it's an absolutely stellar mantra for living. Bee please don't be angry. It's a song about a dad interacting with his young son, in which he's giving some fatherly advice on life. All my kids are grown, but this song time transported me back to when my boys where little. My youngest son is Jacob, now at age 27 is estranged from me, but once upon a time we were close. Thoughts? Ideas? This is still a work in progress, and there is a space where the instrumental is. I struggle especially with those. The Best Day© 2015 Rick Dieffenbach except the line "Make Every Day the Best Day" which is Bee3's..... Jacob, wake upIt’s time to get out of bedwake up your sleepy head Play time, you and IReading a book or twoPretend is a fun thing to dothe role you play, may very well, be yours, some day Make every day the best dayMake every day the best dayMake every day the best dayof your life Blue skies, in your eyesExploring the smallest thingsThe best that life can bring School days, learn and playMake your life completeWhen peace and love in what you seekbut now son, enjoy the ride, your life has just begun (space for instrumental) Make every day the best dayMake every day the best dayMake every day the best dayof your life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted July 24, 2015 Members Share Posted July 24, 2015 This is good Rick. Sometimes I know what you are wanting to say, but trip over your tongue trying to say it.This is clear and well-structured. My only comment is to change: Make your life completeWhen peace and love in what you seek to Make your life completeWith peace and love in what you seek Edit: I only listened after the above comment. The prosody is great. It all hangs together really well.The chorus is worth repeating a 2nd time at the end if you want to build it with some additional vocals and instrumentation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AlamoJoe Posted July 24, 2015 Members Share Posted July 24, 2015 Tears at my heart Rick...I too, suffer the pain of an estranged son....Song breaks me up a bit.....Good work though, very good work....Good suggestion by 'Ol Git too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted July 25, 2015 Members Share Posted July 25, 2015 Bee3 posted some lyrics the other day that had a line in it that absolutely captured my imagination. I hope Bee you won't be upset at me, but I liked it so much I immediately sat down and wrote a song around it. The line was "Make Every Day the Best Day", and to me, it's an absolutely stellar mantra for living. Bee please don't be angry. It's a song about a dad interacting with his young son, in which he's giving some fatherly advice on life. All my kids are grown, but this song time transported me back to when my boys where little. My youngest son is Jacob, now at age 27 is estranged from me, but once upon a time we were close. Thoughts? Ideas? This is still a work in progress, and there is a space where the instrumental is. I struggle especially with those. The Best Day © 2015 Rick Dieffenbach except the line "Make Every Day the Best Day" which is Bee3's..... Jacob, wake up It’s time to get out of bed wake up your sleepy head Play time, you and I Reading a book or two Pretend is a fun thing to do the role you play, may very well, be yours, some day Make every day the best day Make every day the best day Make every day the best day of your life Blue skies, in your eyes Exploring the smallest things The best that life can bring School days, learn and play Make your life complete When peace and love in what you seek but now son, enjoy the ride, your life has just begun (space for instrumental) Make every day the best day Make every day the best day Make every day the best day of your life I'm not angry at all! In fact, I don't even know what line of mine you're referring to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted July 25, 2015 Author Members Share Posted July 25, 2015 Holy craparonie - it was Every dayIs the best dayOf my life which was the inspiration for Make every day the best dayof your life And the author was in fact rsadasiv from A Dogs Life. No, I wasn't drinking.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted July 25, 2015 Members Share Posted July 25, 2015 Well now I'm pissed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tbry Posted July 25, 2015 Members Share Posted July 25, 2015 I liked this a lot...very nice Beatle sound and Pop feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted July 25, 2015 Author Members Share Posted July 25, 2015 Thanks All. I have redone the vocals in a kids style. What do you think? (Just pretend that the ghost of Burl Ives is sending...) Also, Git you are 100% correct.. but... the Lyric I typed in had a typo in that line. It was written as : When peace and love is what you seek ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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