Old song, new words...

[bee3]

I've resurrected an old song that I wrote years ago... I even tracked it in a real studio but never tracked the vocals, which is ok because I want to completely overhaul the melody and lyrics on the verses.

 

That said, I do really like how the chrous sings and flows.

 

So here is my first attempt (off the cuff) of coming up with new verses and maintaining the current chorus for the most part. Untitled at the moment.

 

Verse

Need to change direction

But find it hard to change at all

You may see from my expression

Can't take not being flexible

So take my hand and show me how

 

To you it may seem simple

Just a breathing exercise

To tame the building worry

And needless terror in disguise

So take my hand and show me how

 

Chorus

Just cause you think it's easy

Know it takes a lot to please me (this line probably needs to change... please me doesn't exactly make sense)

I know that you've got the spirit now

We'll get through somehow

 

Verse

More later...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[rhino55]

I think I get what it's trying to say, but I think the piece would benefit from saying it more clearly. You'll be able to do that in the next verse. I think the expression line would be a good spot to add some more meaning. I like the way direction and expression rhyme, but without knowing what the expression is, it's a little ambiguous.

 

In the chorus, what do you mean by "you've got the spirit now?" I feel like if the last line gave some insight it would have more impact.

[Lee Knight]

Just cause you think it's easy

 

Know it takes a lot for me and

 

You know that I've got the spirit now

 

We'll get through somehow

[tbry]

Need to change direction

But find it hard to change at all

You may see from my expression

Can't take not being flexible(That I'm not that flexible)

So take my hand and show me how(So take the lead and show me how)

 

The way you said it makes the guy look weak...I might ask someone to take the lead but I don't think I would ask, Take my hand then have them lead...a guy thing for me.

[bee3]

I think I get what it's trying to say, but I think the piece would benefit from saying it more clearly. You'll be able to do that in the next verse. I think the expression line would be a good spot to add some more meaning. I like the way direction and expression rhyme, but without knowing what the expression is, it's a little ambiguous.

 

In the chorus, what do you mean by "you've got the spirit now?" I feel like if the last line gave some insight it would have more impact.

 

What do I mean... good question. I don't think it's anything religious really... it's more "you've got the spirit" to get me out of this anxiety-riddled situation.

[bee3]

Just cause you think it's easy

 

Know it takes a lot for me and

 

You know that I've got the spirit now

 

We'll get through somehow

 

Ahhh... the ol' switcharoo.

 

Maybe:

 

Just cause you think it's easy

Know that nothing's easy for me

I know that we've got the spirit now

To pull through somehow

[Lee Knight]

Nice

[bee3]

Verse

You say I need to change direction

I find it hard to change at all

The pain in my expression

Is not physical at all

So take my hand and show me how

 

To you it may seem simple

Just a breathing exercise

To tame the building worry

And needless terror in disguise

So take my hand and show me how

 

Chorus

Just cause you think it's easy

Know that nothing's easy for me

I know that we've got the spirit now

We'll pull through somehow

 

Verse

Still searching...

 

[bee3]

Need to change direction

But find it hard to change at all

You may see from my expression

Can't take not being flexible(That I'm not that flexible)

So take my hand and show me how(So take the lead and show me how)

 

The way you said it makes the guy look weak...I might ask someone to take the lead but I don't think I would ask, Take my hand then have them lead...a guy thing for me.

 

I'm ok looking weak... because, well... I am at times.

[rhino55]

For the record some of the references; flexible, breathing exercise, and spirit, had me thinking of yoga. Not sure if that was intentional or not. It might be something to play up or to continue adding to in the next verse.

[bee3]

For the record some of the references; flexible, breathing exercise, and spirit, had me thinking of yoga. Not sure if that was intentional or not. It might be something to play up or to continue adding to in the next verse.

 

Yeah. My wife is really into yoga. So the story is: I've been having random anxiety attacks... sporadically over the past few years. They typically happen when I'm out in public doing something I love... like attending a concert. Or out to dinner with friends. Inexplicable. Maddening.

 

I was at a concert with my wife last month... and it happened... and she (god bless her for trying) is trying to tell me that she gets anxiety as well and yoga has taught her how to cope... and that doing breathing exercises really helps. She thinks it's easy to overcome. And she, of course, is telling me all this as it's happening. For the record, when it does happen, the last thing I want to do is talk to someone about it. I personally think she maybe suffers from stress... and not anxiety. I may not know what the hell I'm talking about.

 

 

[rhino55]

Right on, I like the fact that it was there but not too far out front. I'd keep that up in the same way with next verses.

 

Stress and anxiety are two very different things that sometimes go hand in hand... or at least that's what my therapist said. Same thing can be said for sadness and depression.

 

From my personal experience breathing exercises are awesome. You can actually lower your heart rate. Not sure if the time to learn about that is while your in the midst of an anxiety attack. I can see how that could make things much worse in the moment. I think what makes that sort of thing effective is practicing ahead of time so when you need it you already know how to do it, and you're more likely to trust it'll work.

 

One of the basic ones I was shown is you breathe for 4 seconds, hold it for 3, breathe for another 3, then exhale it all slowly.

 

In other news yoga girls are hot. Hi five on having a hot wife.

[stickboymusic]

Could you possibly post the music or even ideally just run a quick vox for melody over it before I chime in?

[bee3]

Stick - super quick demo before I run off to my kids baseball game. [video=youtube;FqK5n-PrKLU]

[tbry]

 

I'm ok looking weak... because, well... I am at times.

 

I knew if I used that word you might take it wrong...I said it made the guy look that way...I didn't know it was autobiographical... if that is what you want to say and thats how you feel, ok...I might feel that way sometimes too but in everyday conversation I would not say that to my wife/girl... take my hand show me the way. Symantics, no big deal...different way of looking at things. Not intended to offend.

[bee3]

No offense taken.

[mbfrancis]

Too tired to comment on lyric, but this could be pulled off well...yes, need to replace easy/please me with something unique and hooky. Not feeling the verse music right now, but man the chorus is really nice...sounds like Teenage Fanclub.

 

I can't see how you're seeing

when I'm stuck here barely breathing

 

 

EDIT: lyric above is a sample chorus, if that wasn't clear. too bad "barely breathing" is taken.

[bee3]

Hopefully, the verse music comes together for you when you hear the full arrangement.

 

 

 

Will be working on a third verse throughout the day.