Midnight Blue

[thehundredthone]

Songs make good valentine's day gifts. Unless you end up writing one about your love for music. Go with food in that case. If music be the food of love, and all that.

 

http://www.reverbnation.com/thehundr...-midnight-blue

 

Lyrics:

Come home to midnight blue

The shroud over dying day

Wind as it kisses glass

Whispering, twilight wakes

 

Feel at home and in sync with the night

The shadows growing longer

My footsteps echo off the walls

I'm right where I belong

 

I close my eyes and the world will fade

There's just me and the music

 

A soft caress to the cheek as she

Whispers to my ears

And as we dance it feels like a

Rhythm we've known for years

 

Visions of spirals and water

Like falling through a dream

Silence it weaves through and

Leaps over melodies calling my name

 

I close my eyes and the world will fade

'Til just me and the music remains

 

Now with the lifting fog

Dew on the window pane

Warm light and morning sounds

Whispering, twilight fades

 

With open eyes, the world will sway with us

Me and the music, today.

[rickidoo]

Love the unique melody in the verses.

 

Beautiful chorus.

 

Lovely lyrics. Poetic with a meaning that connects to this listener.

 

Damn I can't find anything wrong with the songwriting. Damn.

[LCK]

It's good, but I think you need a new title... the song isn't about "midnight blue."

 

Also, the lyric is full of imagery but I'm not sure it's enough to engage the listener.

 

I could be wrong, but those are my impressions.

[oldgitplayer]

Pretty damn nice. I think you might have some Ralph Towner, Pat Metheney and Jan Garbajek somewhere in your record collection.

 

LCK says he could be wrong and maybe he is. I think the subject matter and mood of the music allow for loose imagery. There is still a narrative in amongst the imagery, so I think it works in its own unique way.

 

I wrote a song entitled 'Midnight Blue' myself a couple of years back so it was interesting to hear your approach. Mine was a bit more direct about melchanoly at midnight with the sky also being that colour.

 

Anyway - your song had me engaged.

 

My only comment is that the synth sax detracts - I know - Jan said he was busy……..

[LCK]

I wrote a song entitled 'Midnight Blue' myself a couple of years back

 

Moi, aussi.

 

When midnight blue gets into you

it crawls around inside just like the Hong Kong flu...

 

[thehundredthone]

Love the unique melody in the verses.

 

Beautiful chorus.

 

Lovely lyrics. Poetic with a meaning that connects to this listener.

 

Damn I can't find anything wrong with the songwriting. Damn.

 

Wow, thank you! I'm glad you like it so much.

 

]

It's good, but I think you need a new title... the song isn't about "midnight blue."

 

Also, the lyric is full of imagery but I'm not sure it's enough to engage the listener.

 

I could be wrong, but those are my impressions.

 

I do write some songs that are more imagery than substance, because they're meant to be an experience. For me this song is about music in midnight blue. I can see where you're coming from, though, about the lyrics not engaging all listeners.

 

Pretty damn nice. I think you might have some Ralph Towner, Pat Metheney and Jan Garbajek somewhere in your record collection.

 

LCK says he could be wrong and maybe he is. I think the subject matter and mood of the music allow for loose imagery. There is still a narrative in amongst the imagery, so I think it works in its own unique way.

 

I wrote a song entitled 'Midnight Blue' myself a couple of years back so it was interesting to hear your approach. Mine was a bit more direct about melchanoly at midnight with the sky also being that colour.

 

Anyway - your song had me engaged.

 

My only comment is that the synth sax detracts - I know - Jan said he was busy……..

I'm a little bit ashamed to say I have heard none of those artists, although I've definitely heard of Pat Metheney. I shall proceed to rectify this problem.

 

There absolutely is a narrative amongst the imagery for those looking for it. There is also a thematic connection to the first song I ever wrote, called Resonance. Here's the link if you'd like to listen:

. Is your song available to listen to? I'd love to see how you approached it. For me, the melancholy of midnight blue (which starts to introduce itself at dusk and and stays until just before dawn) has its own beauty and this song is about the synergy of both.

 

The synth sax was my first attempt at a synth brass, and I know the synth does not have any depth to do justice to a real sax. But I felt the song would go further with it than without. If you know someone who would be willing to lay down a real line, I'd be thrilled to have them on this track!

[Goncalo Crespo]

I wanted to write some appreciative words, as these lyrics are beautifully crafted. Instead am +1 everything said so far. Great job!

[nat whilk II]

Some suggestions:

 

The melody is very nice, but the melodic rhythm is to my ear a bit repetitive and monotonous. I'd try separating the short chorus "I close my eyes and the world just fades, me and the music" more from the verses by making the chorus rhythms more distinct from the verse rhythms.

 

For example, off the top of my head, after "fades" which is on the pickup beat at the end of that bar, make the next bar just hang on that chord with no singing (meaning insert a pause bar in there) ...maybe some echoey/delay-emulation notes on the guitar...to bring a big pause in the motion as things "fade", and then resumes after the pause-bar with "me and the music remains". I think this sort of thing would help the song breathe more, give it more overall dynamic shape in the long horizontal sense.

 

Just a quibble about grammer - "me and the music remains" does have nice alliteration with the three "m"s, but it's bad grammar. You wouldn't say, "the world just fades and me remains." Of course, proper grammar is optional in most pop music, so it's as you wish. Probably you'd have to go with "only the music and I remain" which would communicate the gist, but it's less lilting and pillowy.

 

It's hard to hear the details on the acoustic guitar, panned where you have it alone, some 30% or so to one side. You might double-track the guitar part and place each part about 85% left and right so the guitar fills in the entire background space with your voice in the middle. The acoustic guitar is the shining star to me in this composition and needs be clear and detailed, absolutely. Your voice is like a sleepy, frosty, slow sax part in the middle which, if it's too upfront, gets a little tiring to listen to the length of the song if it's too prominent. You should really let the guitar be heard to give the ear more great details and rhythmic interest.

 

All said, still a very nice effort, no question.

 

Thanks for posting! Looking forward to more.

 

P.S. - the midi sax is, for me, more distracting than helpful. Better to just have a great guitar part and skip trying to "suggest" a sax part with the midi thing. You could work on your midi chops perhaps and make a sax part that's perfectly acceptable - but I'd leave it off the tune 'till it's ready for public consumption.

 

nat whilk ii

 

 

 

 

 

 

[oldgitplayer]

 

Is your song available to listen to? I'd love to see how you approached it.

 

If you know someone who would be willing to lay down a real line, I'd be thrilled to have them on this track!

 

Sorry - I don't have a sax player on offer.

 

Also - my song isn't available to listen to. I just write stuff and record very little of it. I'm a bit of a lyricist but not much of a musician, and anything I record is a rough 1+1 demo so I can be reminded at a later date.

 

[LCK]

 

Just a quibble about grammer - "me and the music remains" does have nice alliteration with the three "m"s, but it's bad grammar. You wouldn't say, "the world just fades and me remains." Of course, proper grammar is optional in most pop music, so it's as you wish. Probably you'd have to go with "only the music and I remain" which would communicate the gist, but it's less lilting and pillowy.

 

"'Til the music remains" is sound grammatically. "'Til just me and the music remains" isn't for two reasons, the one Nat has given and the fact that there are two nouns, which makes "'Til just me and the music remain" the more proper sentence, grammatically-speaking, i.e, "just the two of us remain".

 

That said, it sort of works anyway.

[thehundredthone]

I wanted to write some appreciative words' date=' as these lyrics are beautifully crafted. Instead am +1 everything said so far. Great job! [/quote']

 

Thanks for the kind words!

 

Some suggestions:

 

The melody...

There is actually a pause bar after fades, on the Emaj7, are you saying that should be extended further?

 

Just a quibble about grammer...

Grammar* haha. I fully agree that "'Til just me and the music remain" is incorrect. But since it was borne out of an extension of the previous chorus "There's just me and the music", I decided to hold on to it despite the grammar. With the last chorus the objective pronoun is correct again, so unless I can rework the second line to make "me and the music" (despite 'me' being first, that's not going to change) grammatically correct, I'll have to be a little sloppy. Sometimes we've got to take a little artistic freedom to create the desired effect.

 

It's hard to hear the details...

Indeed, I am actually back home where I have access to my guitar and recording equipment, and I can double track the guitar. I really wanted this to be an intimate single guitar+vocal type recording, maybe I can pull the guitar back to the centre but if not, I'll double track it.

 

The sax isn't going to get much better unless I have a good sample library (with different samples for each velocity), this is actually just a free AU I pulled off the internet because I didn't like Logic's trumpet. I didn't actually try Logic's sax samples, I should see if they're any better. The only way to know if it works, though, is to put it out for you guys to listen and tell me how bad it sounds, that's why it's there haha. I'm going to ask around online if someone would like to lay down this track for fun.

 

Thanks for your feedback, it's really valuable. There's more music already on my ReverbNation page if you would like to listen.

 

 

 

"'Til the music remains" is sound grammatically. "'Til just me and the music remains" isn't for two reasons, the one Nat has given and the fact that there are two nouns, which makes "'Til just me and the music remain" the more proper sentence, grammatically-speaking, i.e, "just the two of us remain".

 

That said, it sort of works anyway.

 

My apologies, that's actually a typo in my lyrics leftover from when I was still working on them. I actually sing "''Til just me and the music remain".

[nat whilk II]

 

Thanks for the kind words!

 

 

There is actually a pause bar after fades, on the Emaj7, are you saying that should be extended further?

 

 

Ok, I should be more specific - my idea FWIW is that you'd sing "and the world will fade" and hold right on "fade" with no chord change, no noodling, no "to just" for 4 beats. Let the music actually fade literally - a real halt in the action to let people feel the fade. You could perhaps just repeat a fading note or a chord on the beats in this pause like an echo or delay, but just the same note so it carries in a straight line as it fades.

 

Then proceed - you'd have to probably drop the "to" and say merely "just, me and the music".

 

One other thing I would try would be to make the rhythm of "me and the" a 3-on-2 triplet followed by the "mu" syllable of "music" on the downbeat, not an upbeat. The rhythmic variety idea - would underscore it as a bit more hooky at least to my ear and provide some contrast with all the upbeats you use in every other 8-bar phrase. I start to itch for a downbeat after upbeat after upbeat after upbeat.

 

nat whilk ii

 

 

 

 

[rhino55]

I think its good. I'd loose the 'likes' though. In those two spots the 'likes' make me get the impression you are telling me what's happening instead of showing me.

 

Visions of spirals and water

Falling through a dream

 

And in this couplet, I think it would be stronger if you showed us why it feels like a rhythm you've known for years.

 

And as we dance it feels like a

Rhythm we've known for years

 

 

 

 

[thehundredthone]

 

One other thing I would try would be to make the rhythm of "me and the" a 3-on-2 triplet followed by the "mu" syllable of "music" on the downbeat, not an upbeat. The rhythmic variety idea - would underscore it as a bit more hooky at least to my ear and provide some contrast with all the upbeats you use in every other 8-bar phrase. I start to itch for a downbeat after upbeat after upbeat after upbeat.

 

nat whilk ii

 

 

Are you saying instead of:

 

1----/---- 2----/-- 3--/--- 4 -

♪----♪----♪----♪---♪-♪----♪-♪

Me and the mu-u-sic

 

You want me to try:

 

-------[-----3-----]---------------

1-/- 2----/-------- 3-----/--- 4-/

♪-♪-♪----♪---------♪----♪----♪-♪

-----Me and the mu- sic

 

(I need to learn how to code notation, if there is such a thing.)

 

I think its good. I'd loose the 'likes' though. In those two spots the 'likes' make me get the impression you are telling me what's happening instead of showing me.

 

Visions of spirals and water

Falling through a dream

For the meter's sake, a syllable is required to match the "and" (spi-i-rals-and wa-a-ter-?), so how about "I'm falling through a dream" or do you think I should sing "wa-a-a-ter".

 

And in this couplet, I think it would be stronger if you showed us why it feels like a rhythm you've known for years.

 

And as we dance it feels like a

Rhythm we've known for years

That's just it, there isn't a why, just the almost uncanny comfort and familiarity. That's what I'm trying to get across with those lines.

[mbfrancis]

I'm late to this but figured I'd weigh in. This is very lovely, a really nice vibe. Your voice suits it. Here's what I hear:

 

* Not crazy about the last note of the first line melody, sounds forced to fit the chord. For me the trick of using unorthodox chords is to make the melody effortless around them, but I realize that's taste.

* I'm w/ LCK on the imagery - you go through the whole first verse and I have nothing to hold onto, no footing, so nothing to really care about or get invested in. It's all too impressionistic.

* The title of this song is "Me and the Music" - you should lean into that and repeat it.

 

Hope this helps.