Members rickidoo Posted January 11, 2015 Members Share Posted January 11, 2015 A couple of years ago I had a song called That Wasn't Smart. It had a heavy beat and a somewhat driving bass. I decided to "country-tize" it. Some of the lyrics have changed, but the core of the lyrics are still the same, wrapped in a bouncy country git envelop. This one is suppose to have humorous lyrics from a sort of "why do these things always happen to me?" standpoint. Any/all comments/suggestions/criticisms appreciated. That Wasn't Smart© 2013 Lyrics Rick Dieffenbach © 2015 Music Rick Dieffenbach alternatively, mp3 download link Spoken: You ever feel that no matter what you do in your life you seem to make things worse. V1: Last night I said something badIt made my girlfriend very sadAnd when it was time to go to bedshe said I hope you enjoy the couch instead CHORUS:That wasn't smart (that wasn’t smart…)What I said wasn't smart (No that wasn't smart)’Cause the devil gets his jolliesBy casting little follies on me V2: Today, I went to workThe boss mas was, a total jerkWhen I told him to go to hellHe said pack your things, I wish you well CHORUS:that wasn't smart (that wasn’t smart…)What I said wasn't smart (no that wasn’t smart…)’Cause the devil gets his jolliesBy casting little follies on me =============================== BRIDGE: <<<< replaced Jan 12should I stop blamingthe devil for his 'makinMy life a series of ups then downs or can I choose a better way?Yea I can make better choices todayGonna turn this unlucky life around ============================= V3: Driving home, stopped for a beer2 hours later, my head unclearThe trooper man, said how do you doPlease blow in this little tube CHORUS:That wasn't smart (that wasn’t smart…)What I did wasn't smart (no it wasn't smart)’Cause the devil gets his jolliesBy playing little follies on me Yea the devil gets his jolliesBy playing little follies on me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Delmont Posted January 11, 2015 Members Share Posted January 11, 2015 Love it! Yeah, it can work in lots of styles, but it's a natural for country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted January 12, 2015 Members Share Posted January 12, 2015 It doesn't sound particularly 'Country' to me, but what would I know - I'm not A Merry Can.It's the sort of ditty you might hear in a variety show in this neck of the woods. I was expecting to hear drums and bass enter at V2 but you've kept it as a 1+1.Alternating root to 5th does not necessarily a country song make.Any thoughts about countryfying it with some bluegrass flavours or whatever…………? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted January 12, 2015 Author Members Share Posted January 12, 2015 Delmont - thanks - 'appreciate the feedback. 'Git - It's just for fun anyways. I left it 1+1 because I want to enter it into the muse contest that is limited to 1+1. Maybe play it open mike too. The bridge has been rewritten lyric wise: Spoken: You ever feel that no matter what you do in your life you seem to make things worse. V1: Last night I said something badIt made my girlfriend very sadAnd when it was time to go to bedshe said I hope you enjoy the couch instead CHORUS:That wasn't smart (that wasn’t smart…)What I said wasn't smart (No that wasn't smart)’Cause the devil gets his jolliesBy casting little follies on me V2: Today, I went to workThe boss man was, a total jerkWhen I told him to go to hellHe said pack your things, I wish you well CHORUS:that wasn't smart (that wasn’t smart…)What I said wasn't smart (no that wasn’t smart…)’Cause the devil gets his jolliesBy casting little follies on me =============================== BRIDGE: should I stop blamingthe devil for his 'makinMy life a series of ups then downs or can I choose a better way?Yea I can make better choices todayGonna turn this unlucky life around ============================= V3: Driving home, stopped for a beer2 hours later, my head unclearThe trooper man, said how do you doPlease blow in this little tube CHORUS:That wasn't smart (that wasn’t smart…)What I did wasn't smart (no it wasn't smart)’Cause the devil gets his jolliesBy playing little follies on me Yea the devil gets his jolliesBy playing little follies on me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted January 12, 2015 Members Share Posted January 12, 2015 Chorus (double length, turnaround on the second repetition): Well that was dumb (yeah it wasn't smart)Should not have done (yeah it wasn't smart)It wasn't smart (yeah it wasn't smart)It wasn't smart (yeah it wasn't smart) Well that was dumb (yeah it wasn't smart)Should not have done (yeah it wasn't smart)’Cause the devil gets his jolliesBy playing little follies on me The verses need more space/distance/contrast between what the protagonist thinks he is doing and how it is perceived/turns out/becomes not smart. That's where the laughs are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Delmont Posted January 13, 2015 Members Share Posted January 13, 2015 It doesn't sound particularly 'Country' to me, but what would I know - I'm not A Merry Can. It's the sort of ditty you might hear in a variety show in this neck of the woods. Yep, it can work in a lot of styles. Country is definitely one of them, if that's how he decides to treat it. Music hall is another strong contender. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted January 14, 2015 Author Members Share Posted January 14, 2015 Thanks rsadasiv and Delmont. 'appreciate it. I ended up doing a little comic routine in the song, and left it at that. Onto the next song! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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