Members stickboymusic Posted December 22, 2014 Members Share Posted December 22, 2014 No idea where this came from - I just switched computer on....played in a drum loop and this was written and done in an hour. I think it probably needs work.... think the "bridge" can be stronger and some lyrics should be tidied - what you say. Production wise I have added zero eq, compression.... tweaking....nothing.... just a limiter on the end so its a bit raw (but i kinda like it like that!) Can U feel it https://soundcloud.com/stickboy/canufeelit-demo Fortune for the lovers lostthe lonesome and the braveLady luck will meet you onthe pathway that you made... ...if you feel it.Can you feel it? Sing to her a lullaby about your days gone pastsit and watch the angels cryyour trying times won't last ...if you feel it.Can you feel it? Hold your head up highbe strong be trueEvery chance of hopeIs down to you. ...if you feel it.Can you feel it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted December 23, 2014 Members Share Posted December 23, 2014 It's a good start Stick, but the drums and bass are not on the same page with each other or the mood of the song.I think they detract from where you want to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted December 23, 2014 Author Members Share Posted December 23, 2014 Well like I said this is a quick early pass.... however im personally loving the wrongness of things musically.... it just feels right to me. Of course it isn't the obvious thing to do but if I went that route I think it would just be another usual song. I dunno Would be interested in others thoughts as to direction Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted December 23, 2014 Members Share Posted December 23, 2014 Hey Stick - it feels disjointed to me as well. I'm not sure you want to get away from your signature tight well-produced sound? I'd much prefer to hear it with your usual polish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nat whilk II Posted December 23, 2014 Members Share Posted December 23, 2014 I find the drums and bass and synth combo pretty charming, a refreshing change of pace. Yeah, maybe the bass tone and lines could stand some tweaking. The little electric guitar part I like a lot, too. Maybe bring the electric piano in at the start? That sparseness without it might be putting people off? Could you bring a female voice in to sing this with you? On the sweet and light side. Having a male and female voice both singing "can you feel it?" might be kinda sexy:D2 I'd pan the acoustic guitar just a bit off-center, the electric piano just a bit the opposite side off-center, and put the little electric guitar lead on the left. Or at least I'd mess with the panning, try to get it all a bit more coordinated, meshed. The strumming acoustic way out on the left really strikes me as the main problem. The feel of the chorus with everybody in is right on track, just needs some polishing. You might stretch the notes out longer on the 2nd "can you feel it" to "feeeeel" it (2 to 4 beats long, maybe vary it) and double-track your own vocal in the chorus, and drop your chorus vocal back further into the mix. I know this is a raw, untreated version - these are just my first "hmmm...try this" thoughts. This is a little Royksopp-ish. Big Royksopp fan here. Lyrics - I just have this thing about "Lady Luck", strikes me as a hackneyed image, from a gambling machine or an old Burt Reynolds movie or something. I would never use the phrase except cynically. I might be oversensitive about that. Same about "angels cry" - another oldie that made it into a bunch of 60s rock and 80s country. But the positive, hopeful message goes well with the synthy, laptoppy vibe of the thing. You don't want it too cute or it will sound like an iPad advert or something. But I think this tune would be a nice variation in your impressive oeuvre. nat whilk ii Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted December 23, 2014 Members Share Posted December 23, 2014 Cool. Love the production, esp. the reverse stuff. To me the "if you feel it/can you feel it" is more of a refrain, a tagline, not a proper chorus. As you mention, you need something bigger and hooky and memorable at the "hold your head up high" bit...what's there is too safe/innocuous for me - need a hook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted December 23, 2014 Members Share Posted December 23, 2014 The song works very well, musically and lyrically. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted December 23, 2014 Members Share Posted December 23, 2014 however im personally loving the wrongness of things musically.... it just feels right to me. Of course it isn't the obvious thing to do but if I went that route I think it would just be another usual song. I hear what you are saying, but IMO to be musically cohesive it needs to be more than what just sounds like sloppy drums and bass. I think you need to go further than this and achieve 'quirky'. I love quirky music and the 'Can U feel it' section of the lyric is the perfect place to do it.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted December 23, 2014 Members Share Posted December 23, 2014 Lyrics - I just have this thing about "Lady Luck", strikes me as a hackneyed image, from a gambling machine or an old Burt Reynolds movie or something. 'Lady Luck' also jumped out at me with 1st reading. I agree it is a dated phrase. JJ Cale wrote a fantastic song in the 70's by the same name, and it still works well as a vintage song, but our work is to invent new turns of phrase wherever possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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