Let the Seasons Change (synth pop)

[mbfrancis]

Hey all. Been dark a bit, was slowly pushing my EP forward when a song competition came up on the Reason User Boards to win a new synth. You had to use all sounds from the synth (Rob Papen's Quad). Why not? It's a song I started a couple of years back but was scared to finish. My friend heard the start of the chorus and said he imagined it was about spies, so I made it about spies - why not?

 

Let me know how badly this fails, ha.

 

https://soundcloud.com/martinbfranci...seasons-change

 

"Let the Seasons Change"

 

I crept alone from house to home

Under the guard of twilight

but woke up hooded, drugged

and bound up to a ceiling pipe

but I heard you there – somehow I heard you there

10,000 Euro and your love won’t get me out alive

 

Chorus

LET THE SEASONS CHANGE

‘cause the writing’s on the wall

Will you watch me break

Or will you break my fall

LET THE SEASONS CHANGE

Were you even there at all

I’d tell ‘em all I know

If I could let go

LET THE SEASONS CHANGE

‘cause the writing’s on the wall

the writing’s on the wall – on the wall

 

Agent 5 was kept alive

In an abandoned basement

‘til she caved and now she lies

Upon the ocean floor

Agent 6 was blown – and then blown away

And to me the knell of death

To them is just one more

 

CHORUS

 

BRIDGE

I bend and bend myself for you

But you ask things I’ll never do

And while you watch I can’t pretend

You’re one of us not one of them

But in my mind we’re miles away

Still warm in bed and safe and sound

safe from everything today

that’s picked you up and dragged me down

but that’s a fair exchange – so let the seasons change

 

CHORUS

 

 

 

 

[stickboymusic]

I was wondering how you vocal would sit with this when it first started

 

But WOW it REALLY works

 

Love everything about this.

 

Change of tempo is just perfect

 

I kind of hear a group shout "CHANGE" after "let the seasons change"

 

Let the seasons change....CHANGE (on the beat)

[stickboymusic]

P.s I assume you won!? ha

[DonnaMarilyn]

A fun and creative idea for the competition. I enjoyed the vibe, the delivery, the vocals/harmonies.

 

As a lyrics-only person, I can’t say much about the music itself. I’ll offer just a few quick thoughts on the lyric, in case you ever decide to pay it a return visit.

 

I think the bridge is the best part. It's on the long side (for a bridge), but flows well and has a really nice momentum, and strong emotional impact. (In fact, I could envisage it in a completely different kind of lyric/song - maybe even as a chorus, where the verses are short. But that's another story. )

 

I feel the title/hook 'Let the Seasons Change' isn't supported by the theme in the verses. The image of changing seasons immediately brought to mind another type of imagery.

 

Even 'the writing's on the wall' as your title/hook would tighten up the chorus. Or having something else change other than 'seasons' - something relating to the actual world of espionage.

 

Nice examples of internal rhyming and word play in the verses (and chorus).

 

Good strong line 1 in the chorus as well. Immediately captures interest.

 

When I read the lines aloud for the rhythm, some sounded a little clunky, as the metering and rhyme scheme in V1 & 2 don't quite match up.This detracted from the flow, though I noted later that it was less noticeable in the actual delivery.

 

V1, l 2: I wonder whether 'twilight' is the best example of a time of day to try to be invisible?

 

V2 (arguably the hardest of verses to write) is less strong than V1. Sudden mention of Agents 5 & 6 interrupts the flow. In V1, the singer appears to be addressing the woman; in V2, he seems to be speaking to an invisible audience, and that took me out of the story. For cohesion & focus, I'd like to see V2 build on the idea that was introduced in lines 5 & 6 in V1: the fact that there's a woman playing a pivotal role in the action.

 

I hope one or two of these random observations might be useful. Keep 'em or sweep 'em, of course.

 

Donna

[stickboymusic]

I do agree with a couple of comments above (not all)

 

Mainly with the hook/title.

 

I guess really it feels a little unrelated to everything else.

 

I wonder if "let the ending change" would fit better?

 

maybe then you'd have to say

 

let the ending change

there's no writing on the wall....

[mbfrancis]

Thanks, guys - welcome Donna, thanks for the thorough write-up.

 

Clearly not my finest lyric, most was dashed off yesterday in <30 minutes...I can respond later in the day specifically.

[tbry]

The chorus is very good... tie the verses into that chorus.

[mbfrancis]

The chorus is very good... tie the verses into that chorus.

 

Yeah - the hook came first, the song later. Frankly I'd probably rather re-write the verses to fit the hook than change the title. It's super cliche - "let the seasons change," "writing on the wall" - but I think it works...it's catchy.

[stickboymusic]

For what's it's worth I much prefer the verses

[tbry]

Stickboy has a point...this could be one of those that are two different songs....

[oldgitplayer]

I think the Bridge and Chorus are great together.

And I think the verses are great on their own.

But they don't all come together to form a coherent song.

[mbfrancis]

Hmmm....a lot to think about. Big challenge seems to be fit between verses and choruses. I guess I started with the line "let the seasons change, cause the writing's on the wall" and thought what could that possibly be? Can I at least keep those lines?

 

The bridge is pretty much just a verse slowed down, with slightly different melody. I meant to write something else but ran out of time for the contest...I literally grabbed the audio and stretched it while the DAW sped up.

 

I think the bridge is the best part. It's on the long side (for a bridge)' date=' but flows well and has a really nice momentum, and strong emotional impact. (In fact, I could envisage it in a completely [i']different[/i] kind of lyric/song - maybe even as a chorus, where the verses are short. But that's another story. )

 

Cool, thanks - it turned out better than I thought...maybe a little too Depeche Mode, ha.

 

V1' date=' l 2: I wonder whether 'twilight' is the best example of a time of day to try to be invisible?[/quote']

 

Well, he'e been hiding out all day until nightfall to start moving. I get that "twilight" actually describes the light, but it's the waning light, right?

 

V2 (arguably the hardest of verses to write) is less strong than V1. Sudden mention of Agents 5 & 6 interrupts the flow. In V1' date=' the singer appears to be addressing the woman; in V2, he seems to be speaking to an invisible audience, and that took me out of the story. For cohesion & focus, I'd like to see V2 build on the idea that was introduced in lines 5 & 6 in V1: the fact that there's a woman playing a pivotal role in the action.[/quote']

 

Well, v2 (written 2 years ago) was supposed to be context for WTH was going on in v1 (written yesterday), which was supposed to throw a ton of stuff at you. He's a hunted spy who was captured when his lover betrayed him, and now she's in the room while he's being tortured, and this is what's running through his mind. Yeah, maybe I *should* just make this about the seasons, ha.

 

Thanks again and welcome!

[LCK]

The rhythm track, is terrific. The first verse is great, lyrically. I really like it. I mean, come on!

 

but woke up hooded, drugged

and bound up to a ceiling pipe

 

That's great stuff!

 

The chorus is good, but I think it might suffer a little from not being memorable/sing-along-able enough. My feeling has nothing to do with the music, but the fact that the lyric is too complicated, if you will. I'm not sure what LET THE SEASONS CHANGE has to do with the story,

 

But this:

 

‘cause the writing’s on the wall

Will you watch me break

Or will you break my fall

 

Is very good.

 

The second verse is a bit more pedestrian, less compelling than the first.

 

I admire your lyrical and musical talent. A lot.

[Lee Knight]

I love this unconditionally!

[mbfrancis]

@LCK, thanks, I think you've nailed the weak spots (as have others above). The words "let the seasons change" may not be as essential as I think, I just haven't thought of any replacements. Surprised that people think v1 > v2, which I thought was all badass..."the knell of death." I can totally replace v2 with something more in line w/ v1.

 

@LeeK - honored that my little dance track is in some way in the same classification as your awesome wife/daughter, ha. No criticism at all?

 

I think it needs more parts, transitions, etc. The bridge was meant to be super dramatic but I ran out of time. Sounds like this is worth polishing, though. Thanks all!

 

[mbfrancis]

New mix, added some FX: http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12982536

[Lee Knight]

@LC @LeeK - honored that my little dance track is in some way in the same classification as your awesome wife/daughter' date=' ha. No criticism at all? [/quote'] Yeaaaa... no. I only meant I don't share the reservations others have. It works without reservation. Criticisms? Perhaps I don't quite get the connection between the v and c entirely but that's part of what works for me. It's like an enigma wrapped in a slice of bacon. An enigma in a blanket if you will. Mysterious AND delicious.