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Never Had Much


kevysc

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There's a short story called "Up The Bare Stairs" by an Irish writer called Frank O'Connor, which is about a guy from a poor background who struggles "up the bare stairs" to become very successful and who is now looking back at his life wondering if it was all worthwhile. This was sort of inspired by that story.

 

(I've treated the vocals to try create a sound that is "futuristic nostalgia.)

 

Would love feedback ....

 

 

http://www.reverbnation.com/kevinism/song/20838994-never-had-much

 

Never Had Much

 

With hope in your heart

Looked long in the distance

You never had much to say

You never had much

You never had much

 

So sure of yourself

So sure of the pathway

You never put much at risk

You never had much

You never had much

 

Chorus:

 

So tell me now

Did you have it all your own way?

Tell me now

Did you ever make a choice?

 

You made it through

Traveled long distance

You never had any complaints

You never had much

You never had much

 

So sure of yourself

You stuck to the High Road

You never put much at risk

You never did much

You never did much

 

Chorus

 

Did all your dreams come through?

Did everything you wanted happen

Did all your dreams come through?

And did you have enough?

 

Look into your heart

Look back through the distance

Do you have anything to say?

You never said much

You never said much

 

So sure of yourself

So sure of the right way

You never put much at risk

You never had much

You never had much

 

Chorus

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Hey there... don't think I've seen you around the forum before. Welcome!

 

What you have here is a great start... cool vibe musically. The Andrew Eldritch type of singing is cool. I have a few concerns though:

 

  • The percussion is cool, but overly repetitive. You could really stand to make the song go somewhere... and switching up the percussion somehow may help. Maybe try dropping the percussion and some instrumentation on some of your "You never had much" lines... experiment with some cool reverbs/delays on the vocal.
  • Lyrically, I'm not sure you're saying much (no pun intended). I get what you're going for... just looking for something to really command my attention. Maybe some well-placed imagery without resorting to cliches like 'dreams' or 'back through the distance'
  • I think you could cut out the last two verses entirely and go from the bridge back into the chorus.

Really nice start... and I hope you stick around.

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Yeah, welcome to the board!

 

My feedback is similar - a lot of good stuff here, love the vibe. For me there wasn't enough to distinguish one section from another, so it all ran together and got a bit boring ultimately. Some of this is the repetitive drums, some of it the arrangement (no real big changes between sections), some of it melody and lyrics. I agree that the 'chorus' doesn't feel like a chorus - needs more memorable lyrics and maybe a hookier melody, dunno.

 

Hope this helps - thanks for posting!

 

 

 

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Hey there... don't think I've seen you around the forum before. Welcome!

 

What you have here is a great start... cool vibe musically. The Andrew Eldritch type of singing is cool. I have a few concerns though:

[*]The percussion is cool, but overly repetitive. You could really stand to make the song go somewhere... and switching up the percussion somehow may help.

 

+1. Dig the "futuristic nostalgia" vocals and the piano/guitar/strings arrangement. The percussion needs some variation.

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To start off I will say this is really good...you have very good skills...now for the crit....the chorus let it down a bit...the words are fine but when there is a pause after the 3rd line it flattens out instead of soaring....it needs energy right at that moment so we can sing along with you. Good vocal by the way!

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Nice song, nice vocal. I agree with most of the suggestions. I do like the chorus, though, except for the last line. The lead in has a nice emotional build, then it falls flat, musically, on the last line.

 

Is the drum part a loop?

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I like your song and your singing and I like lyrics, too. It reminds me of something from David Bowie's songs. But the dynamic range would be different for verse and chorus. (Maybe 1st verse would be without that strings, only acoustic guitar and percussion, for example)

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