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Shadows #1 - IGNORE!!!!!!


Oswlek

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I'm reading "Wool" by Hugh Hoey - pretty good book, particularly if you are a Sci Fy fan, which I'm not usually - and I came across a great line about the transience of life using a powerful shadow metaphor. I ended up pilfering a chorus idea right then and there, but was piqued enough by the word itself that I grabbed my guitar and ran through a new melody that hadn't sparked any words yet. I think I caught something and am going to use this thread to bring it to life.

 

I call it shadows #1 because there are two separate ideas with the same title. The other one borrows more directly from the quote, so I won't post Hoey's line yet. I'll wait to do that once I get to the more pertinent thread.

 

Still very early, but this is it so far. My daughter (who has good enough taste to love Martin's work) thinks it is one of the cool chorus melodies I've written. We'll see soon enough. :)

 

The stuff in the {} signifies what I'm thinking the next verse should say. The chorus is somewhat vague, but I'm hoping it works in a "Don't Take My Car Out Tonight" by the Hooters' kind of way. That it, along with the melody, is enough exposition to explain what she meant in V1.

 

However you want to interact is fine with me. Toss out ideas, critique those that are there, whatever. Thanks for any and all feedback.

 

V1

I said, "Babe I'm on to you.

I figured out your game

Why you're always where my mind goes"

 

She said, "You don't have a clue

We're one and the same

Yes, you and I are shadows

 

V2

{WTF does that even mean? And why does it make so much sense?}

You and I are....

 

C

Shadows...

We're born and then we'll die as

Shadows...

Shadows...

We burn up in the light

Shadows

 

V3

{Is that why I've never felt quite right with who I was?}

You and I are...

 

C

Shadows...

We're born and then we'll die as

Shadows...

Shadows...

We burn up in the light

Shadows

 

B

{Full engagement, surrendering to her}

 

C

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However you want to interact is fine with me. Toss out ideas, critique those that are there, whatever. Thanks for any and all feedback.

 

V1

I said, "Babe I'm on to you.

I figured out your game

Why you're always where my mind goes"

 

She said, "You don't have a clue

We're one and the same

Yes, you and I are shadows

]

 

Interesting.

 

My question is, whose shadows are the two of you? In other words, a shadow is made by light shining on an object, thing or person. So every shadow is connected to something sitting or standing in the light.

 

Just a random observation. (Or is it...?)

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Thanks Lee, I'll toss that into the pile and see if anything shakes out.

 

TB: Glad you think it is a sound idea.

 

Yeah, my threads are dominating at this point, but the other songs are pretty much worked up until I get my studio up and running. I actually haven't had any overlap with these projects. :)

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TB: Glad you think it is a sound idea.

 

 

I was kinda thinking like LCK...

 

Shadows...

We're born and then we'll die as

Shadows...

Shadows turn up in the light

They fall away in the night

Shadows

 

 

 

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OK, your comments spurred an idea, best illustrated with this conversation between him and her.

 

"Why do you drive me so wild?"

 

"Because you and I are shadows."

 

"What does that even mean? And if so, doesn't that mean we need that light even more? That we wouldn't exist without it?"

 

"Silly boy. Darkness isn't the absence of shadow, it's all shadows. That's our playground."

 

"You are so hot."

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If you like Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book, is a pretty good read. It's written as a children's book. This sounds like it could be a line of dialogue from it. "Silly boy. Darkness isn't the absence of shadow, it's all shadows. That's our playground."

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Cool. And... you should pilfer your riffing below. The tone and dialog is groovy.

OK' date=' your comments spurred an idea, best illustrated with this conversation between him and her. "Why do you drive me so wild?" "Because you and I are shadows." "What does that even mean? And if so, doesn't that mean we need that light even more? That we wouldn't exist without it?" "Silly boy. Darkness isn't the absence of shadow, it's [i']all[/i] shadows. That's our playground." "You are so hot."
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Ever heard the 80's Robbie Robertson tune Somewhere Down the Crazy River? This lyric is evoking that sort of mood for me. Paraphrasing the last verse ...so I said, "no. It's fine, I like it". And she smiled and said, "sure, you like it now. But you'll learn to love it." Check out the tune for a very cool benchmark.

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I think this song may have been influenced by Leonard Cohen's, "Suzanne."

 

Yeah, I can see it now

The distant red neon shivered in the heat

I was feeling like a stranger in a strange land

You know where people play games with the night

God, it was too hot to sleep

 

I followed the sound of a jukebox coming from a levee

All of a sudden I could hear somebody whistling from right behind me

I turned around and she said

"Why do you always end up down at Nick's Cafe?"

I said, "I don't know, the wind just kind of pushed me this way"

She said, "Hang the rich"

 

Catch the blue train

To places never been before

Look for me

Somewhere down the crazy river

(Somewhere down the crazy river)

Catch the blue train

All the way to Kokomo

You can find me

Somewhere down the crazy river

(Somewhere down the crazy river)

 

Take a picture of this

The fields are empty, abandoned '59 Chevy

Laying in the back seat listening to Little Willie John

Yeah, that's when time stood still

You know, I think I'm gonna go down to Madam X

And let her read my mind

She said, "That voodoo stuff don't do nothing for me"

 

I'm a man with a clear destination

I'm a man with a broad imagination

You fog the mind, you stir the soul

I can't find, no control

 

Catch the blue train

To places never been before

Look for me

Somewhere down the crazy river

(Somewhere down the crazy river)

Catch the blue train

All the way to Kokomo

You can find me

Somewhere down the crazy river

(Somewhere down the crazy river)

 

Wait, did you hear that

Oh, this is sure stirring up some ghosts for me

She said, "There's one thing you've got to learn

Is not to be afraid of it"

I said, "No, I like it, I like it, it's good"

She said, "You like it now

But you'll learn to love it later"

 

I been spellbound falling in trances

I been spellbound falling in trances

You give me shivers, chills and fever

You give me shivers

You give me shivers

I been spellbound, I been spellbound

I been spellbound somewhere down the crazy river

Somewhere down the crazy river

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Some more sketching

 

V1

I'm on to you

Why I'm drawn to you, babe

She said, "this oughta be good"

 

Your my beacon, you're my star

When I've been groping in the dark

XXXXX

 

"You're the cutest little cliche

But I'm not the light and neither are you

We are the shadows"

 

C

Shadows...

We're born and then we'll die as

Shadows...

Shadows...

We burn up in the light

Shadows

 

V2

What does that mean?

And wouldn't that make us need the sun even more?

"Silly boy"

 

We don't scatter into the night

That's when we come out and play

 

C

Shadows...

We're born and then we'll die as

Shadows...

Shadows...

We burn up in the light

Shadows

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I love this.

 

1) Tell your daughter she has awesome taste, ha.

2) I'm not sure I'd add anything to what's already been said. There are tremendous opportunities to make this as deep and heavy and/or sexy/menacing as you want. I like the idea of her leading him slowly into the dark. I like the idea of something bigger going on figuratively + metaphysically, although that's not very sexy. (If you hadn't already declared on the existence of God, I'd say there's some fertile theological ground to plow as well.)

3) I loved the 'figured out your game' / 'one and the same' rhyme, if you can keep it somewhere.

 

Where's the demo?

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I love this.

 

1) Tell your daughter she has awesome taste, ha.

2) I'm not sure I'd add anything to what's already been said. There are tremendous opportunities to make this as deep and heavy and/or sexy/menacing as you want. I like the idea of her leading him slowly into the dark. I like the idea of something bigger going on figuratively + metaphysically, although that's not very sexy. (If you hadn't already declared on the existence of God, I'd say there's some fertile theological ground to plow as well.)

3) I loved the 'figured out your game' / 'one and the same' rhyme, if you can keep it somewhere.

 

Where's the demo?

 

1) She knows. :)

 

2) I'm all for it, but may need some help.

 

3) I'll try, but I think "on to you/drawn to you... this oughta be good" gets what I want across better.

 

As for a demo, here is a very early snippet, just through the first chorus to give an idea of delivery and layout. I'm wholly unsure about the transition to the chorus or whether the chorus even works with the verse. My intention is for it to sound a lot smoother in a produced setting, bass/drums providing the groove the guitar has to here, with little licks and fills.

 

 

Here is the lyric I intended to sing.

 

V1

I'm on to you

Why I'm drawn to you, babe

She said, "this oughta be good"

 

Your my beacon, you're my star

After a lifetime spent groping in the dark

 

"Well aren't you the cutest little cliche

But I'm nobody's light, nobody's light

We're the shade"

 

C

Shadows...

We burn up in the light

Shadows...

Shadows...

We're born and then we'll die as

Shadows

 

So, the issues I have are:

 

1) While "shade" sings well, it doesn't carry the weight that "shadows" does. Does the chorus' immediate arrival alleviate that somewhat?

 

2) Mortality was an important concept in the book quote I stole, but it feels out of place here. I think something that illuminates what it means to be a shadow, what a shadow does or how it is different would improve the chorus. Suggestions are welcomed.

 

Lay it on me! :)

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Thanks for the response, Lee.

 

I'm not overly concerned with rhyme, but it was nice that shade/cliche paired up. I thought about just replacing it with "shadows" but a two syllable word doesn't sit right with what I'm doing melodically. Of course, I'm not sold at all on what I'm doing so I that might be adaptable around a better lyric.

 

Was the implied statement in your question that "shade" isn't working? Or was that just a reaction to my concern? And do you think I have more time to get to the chorus? That was another concern, whether V1 is dragging. If not, I'd certainly be open to stretching that out, maybe with a pre-chorus if I can find one.

 

Re: She said, I do that for the most part, except prior to the "cliche" line, which I thought made it pretty clear who was speaking. Do you think it needs to be said?

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Thanks, Ryan. I agree.

 

I may have to put this one down for a while. I'm just not finding a way to marry the verse idea and chorus. I'd prefer to keep the chorus as it was what inspired this path, but at this point it is all up in the air. Maybe coming into the lyric with no musical attachment is what I need to do.

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