Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 9, 2014 Moderators Share Posted August 9, 2014 Coming back from coffee this morning listening to some old 50s jazz I heard a voicing in the piano and the phrase 'walking away' sprung to mind. Jumped in the studio, miked up the piano and quickly played a sketch with fat fingers and sang the first verse. Live into a couple of mics a few feet away. Will post that recording shortly. Edit - here it is, posted here now for easy locating: https://soundcloud.com/albert-s-j-le...away-sketch1-1 Updating her as I go: V1 Walking awayWalking awayDo you want me to stay?I'm walking away V2I guess it's long over dueYou told me, "I never loved you"And the sky drained of blueIt's been long over due V3 Once in a lifeAn angel in whiteWill save your lifeBut only once in a life BridgeI've got a million questionsThe answers don't mean a thingThough I have to ask, is it a lie?Is it a lie....And one more, just one more question..Why? V4 Walking awayWalking awayBeg me to stayWalking away Original Draft1Here are the lyrics I have so far. Input, reprimands, ideas? V1 Walking awayWalking awayI feel greyWalking away V2 You said, "it's sad but trueI never loved you"And the sky drained of blueOnly one thing left to do V3 Once in a lifeI know it's triteAn angel in whiteWill save your life Bridge I've got a million questionsThe answers don't mean a damn thingThough I have to ask, is it a lie?And one more, why? V4 Walking awayBeg me to stayI feel greyWalking away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 9, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted August 9, 2014 The sketch recording. I'll be working on actually being able to play this in Fm. Or change the key. I'm not singing well, the voice is gone still. But the idea is here. The seed at least. The bits before the singing are really just to get the first inspiration down for later refining, etc. I don't hear it going on long at all before vocal. I'm hearing jazz drums coming in for the bridge and making it rise emotionally, going for maybe a Rufus Wainwright vibe there... for just the seed... https://soundcloud.com/albert-s-j-le...away-sketch1-1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 9, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted August 9, 2014 BTW... any musos out there know what mode this is? I went looking thinking I'd find it but, nope. It's basilcally a major scale but the 3rd is flatted to make it minor. The whole top of the scale is a major scale. Not that it really matters but it's kinda cool to throw around Greek words when you can... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted August 9, 2014 Members Share Posted August 9, 2014 Coming back from coffee this morning listening to some old 50s jazz I heard a voicing in the piano and the phrase 'walking away' sprung to mind. Jumped in the studio, miked up the piano and quickly played a sketch with fat fingers and sang the first verse. Live into a couple of mics a few feet away. Will post that recording shortly. Edit - here it is, posted here now for easy locating: https://soundcloud.com/albert-s-j-le...away-sketch1-1 Here are the lyrics I have so far. Input, reprimands, ideas? V1 Walking away Walking away I feel grey Walking away V2 You said, "it's sad but true I never loved you" And the sky drained of blue Only one thing left to do V3 Once in a life I know it's trite An angel in white Will save your life Bridge I've got a million questions The answers don't mean a damn thing Though I have to ask, is it a lie? And one more, why? V4 Walking away Beg me to stay I feel grey Walking away Nice start. Very Chet Baker or EC in jazz mode. Beautiful haunting tune. These 4-or-5-note-type melody lines are difficult as hell to write words to. If I were doing it I wouldn't stick on the same rhyme for the entire verse, I'd probably do an ABAB or ABCB or ABBA schema and make it easier on myself. I'm not crazy about "I feel gray..." Don't tell me how you're feeling... etc. ... But this is the start of something really, really cool...! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 9, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted August 9, 2014 About the "show" fixing a "tell"... Duly noted. It will be better describing something gray as a "show". Betterbetter. Wanting to stay with a color each verse. The rhyme scheme, yeah, I considered less repetition and may still... For now though I'm feeling the repeated -yme... For now. The 1/4 notes in the piano / / / / have a sort if sad insistence I'd like to play off if, for now and or not. I hear you on that. Thanks for the timely input. Good stuff and appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 9, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted August 9, 2014 V1 Walking awayWalking awayI feel grayWalking away Walking awayWalking awayIt's a colorless grayWalking away Walking awayWalking awayA kaleidoscope in grayWalking away Walking awayWalking awayThe setting sun turns to grayAs I'm walking away A dozen roses turn to grayI'm walking away Under-saturated gray A million shades of gray One hundred shades of gray A golden band, in oxidized gray A Polaroid fades to gray A wedding portrait in silver gray Bloodshot eyes and water gray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 9, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted August 9, 2014 V1 Walking awayWalking awayA dozen roses turn to grayAs I'm walking away V2 You said, "it's sad but true"You said, "I never loved you"And the sky drained of blueOnly one thing left to do V3 Once in a lifeI know it's triteAn angel in whiteWill save your life Bridge I've got a million questionsThe answers don't mean a damn thingThough I have to ask, is it a lie?And one more, why? V4 Walking awayBeg me to stayA wedding band of oxidized grayI'm walking away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted August 10, 2014 Members Share Posted August 10, 2014 Very lovely, great melody, keep going.The melodic minor scale *ascends* as you describe, basically major w a flat 3rd, but descends in natural minor. Although it sounds a little like you're in major with a minor iv (flat 6th), which is a similar scale. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 10, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted August 10, 2014 Ah... Yeah, there is that Vaug chord too. In Fm the C+. BTW, the voicing I heard on a jazz tune is the Fm with a C chord on top. I play it first chord of the 2nd through of the sequence, the 2nd instrumental pass. I want to use that a bit in this. So it's a i chord with a V superimposed. Whatever that's called. I'm not too up on extended chord names. Any idea? And thanks for the thumbs up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted August 10, 2014 Members Share Posted August 10, 2014 A quick drive-by to say... I love the haunting piano and melody. More later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted August 10, 2014 Members Share Posted August 10, 2014 Lee, please - how do you mic your piano - that's a really lovely tone. Please be specific. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 10, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted August 10, 2014 Lee' date=' please - how do you mic your piano - that's a really lovely tone. Please be specific.[/quote'] So hard to post photos here. Here you go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 10, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted August 10, 2014 OK... that works. Click on the photo. ^^^ Thanks for the comment. This was quick and easy. I had the song and part idea ready to evaporate if I didn't move so I quickly threw up a great sounding, easy to use setup. The mic technique is a Blumlien pair. Familiar with it? Here you have 2 figure 8 mics set up like an XY basically. But the figure 8 pattern records the backside as well, always bringing a very natural tone. To seemingling everything. Those mics in particular are a pair of Cascade Fathead Ribbons. http://www.bhphotovideo.com/bnh/cont...=REG&A=details They are made by people who know mics. Don't let the price fool you. Cascade rocks. Get the stereo kit with the Blumlien bar. So easy and always great sounding. The ribbon rolls the top off and softens the transient. Point and shoot. Funny enough the singing you hear... well... look at the picture. Right over the shoulder live. This was just a no brainer quick thing that happened to turn out quite nice. EQ and compression to bring out those pedaled resonances. Pretty cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted August 10, 2014 Members Share Posted August 10, 2014 Thanks, Lee, that's great, much appreciated. Any special preamps - ribbons need a lot of gain, right? I do a lot of MS but I only have 1 multi-pattern LDC, so no Blumlein. What a great sound. I've actually been struggling with all my mics getting a piano sound I'm happy with and am about to rent an SDC pair. Maybe Cascades are the answer. I hear they're great on drum overheads, too. Thanks again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 10, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted August 10, 2014 I'd buy them verifying return. Just do it without a thought if you can. They may work great with your existing kit, and I believe based on your question that these would be perfect for so many things that you do. Best purchase by far for me and my music Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted August 11, 2014 Members Share Posted August 11, 2014 Lovely tune. Here are my thoughts on the lyric:I see you want to have colour in each verse, but you are pushing too hard to use 'grey', and ending up with questionable lines.I think A wedding band of oxidised gray is baaaaad. And A dozen roses turn to gray is just OK, but not a great 1st verse opener.And the sky drained of blue is nice - the line works - I can see that image clearly. What I'm also not getting is any real continuity of narrative through the song. It feels like each section is its own vignette loosely connected to the others. There is nothing wrong with this as a method, but each section needs to be stronger in words and imagery to carry it off. I think maybe you need to clarify the song's intent to yourself before having another go at it. But the tune is lovely Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted August 11, 2014 Members Share Posted August 11, 2014 I'd buy them verifying return. Just do it without a thought if you can. They may work great with your existing kit' date=' and I believe based on your question that these would be perfect for so many things that you do. Best purchase by far for me and my music[/quote'] I think you're right, although I just dropped $600 on gear, might need to sell some! What preamps are you using for them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 11, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted August 11, 2014 Lovely tune. Here are my thoughts on the lyric: I see you want to have colour in each verse, but you are pushing too hard to use 'grey', and ending up with questionable lines. I think A wedding band of oxidised gray is baaaaad. And A dozen roses turn to gray is just OK, but not a great 1st verse opener. And the sky drained of blue is nice - the line works - I can see that image clearly. What I'm also not getting is any real continuity of narrative through the song. It feels like each section is its own vignette loosely connected to the others. There is nothing wrong with this as a method, but each section needs to be stronger in words and imagery to carry it off. I think maybe you need to clarify the song's intent to yourself before having another go at it. But the tune is lovely "A wedding band of oxidised gray is baaaaad." [/i] I'm going to need you to stop mincing words Phil!!!! You didn't leave me in uncertainty, that's for sure. I love your honesty! Is it bad? I suppose it is now that you mention it. Like leaving a cake out in the rain bad. Yes, probably. OK! Thank you. Let me actually put some thought into this... [...time elapses and coffee is consumed...] OK! I'm back. Lets ditch the color motive. Paint more of a single incident. When he walked away. HE'S walking away when SHE'S the one admitting her lack of love for him. This is the hook. The twist of this song.. The idea was that she never loved him, and that admission forces him to leave her. You guys know that relationship you were in where it was over but nobody did anything. No leaving... you just carried on for a while longer? That's her. But it's not him. He's goi9ng to walk away. And all the while wait for her to call out his name. That was the idea. So, maybe making that all clearer will help. I don't believe I have to write a short story here. This micro fiction should be able to convey a moment and circumstance of pivotal emotion. Just that peak moment. Not there yet but... moving in the right direction? V1 Walking away Not like me to stray Left you at a sidewalk cafe And I was walking away V2 You said, "it's sad but true Told me, "I never loved you" And the sky drained of blue Sad but true V3 I slowed to a crawl As I risked it all Waiting for you to fall So I slowed to a crawl Bridge I've got a million questions The answers don't mean a damn thing Though I have to ask, is it a lie? And one more, why? V4 Walking away Walking away Beg me to stay Walking away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted August 11, 2014 Members Share Posted August 11, 2014 This is good, but I preferred what you had before. I think the heart of this one was "The sky drained of blue." That's a great line, and I think being a jazz piece, it would be worthwhile to explore that concept. There is a deep tradition of lamenting blue, but you'd be begging for it. You'd much rather take the ups and downs that come with the blues rather than face the crippling certainty that is a constant grey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 11, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted August 11, 2014 I think you're right, although I just dropped $600 on gear, might need to sell some! What preamps are you using for them? I wrote a whole detailed post last night on my phone then it all blew up. Might've been the Scotch. Anyway... I'm using APIs. they a ton of beautiful gain, true. But I was on almost nothing. Input set to 2 or something. I would imagine for piano any pre in an interface is going to work just fine. That's what I meant by know the return policy. You don't know if they work for you until you know. But it is worth finding out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 11, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted August 11, 2014 This is good' date=' but I preferred what you had before. I think the heart of this one was "The sky drained of blue." That's a great line, and I think being a jazz piece, it would be worthwhile to explore that concept. There is a deep tradition of lamenting blue, but you'd be begging for it. You'd much rather take the ups and downs that come with the blues rather than face the crippling certainty that is a constant grey.[/quote'] Thanks Ryan. Yeah... my voice can really sound like Elvis Costello's. And he has a song called Almost Blue. Played on piano in a jazzy manner and quite melancholy. I really don't want to go there. My blue is completely coincidental. I want to keep it that way for those personal reasons. No EC lifting allowed for me. But you raise an interesting point. Or at least liking the original does. For me. The re-write is due to acknowledging that yes, "I feel grey" is a tell and not a show. Lets show here. But when I listen to the recording of me trying to croak out a verse... and that guy sings: I feel grey I believed him. I sort of like (though I'm not set on it) the simple idea of Walking away Walking away I feel grey Walking away In fact! Isn't "walking away" a show in and of itself? It is a teaser, no 'whys' and 'whats', but it still shows something. In this case, an action. Walking away. And now we know that he's feeling down too, as of the 3rd line. Why. Gee I hope there are more verses to this!!!! I'd love reactions on these points above and more input for anyone willing. I'm not set at all either way. Just trying to feel my way through to the most effective lyric. But I do know that rules and guidelines don't always get you there. If they do in this case, I'm in! No problem there either. Ideas? Reactions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted August 11, 2014 Members Share Posted August 11, 2014 Anyway... I'm using APIs. they a ton of beautiful gain' date=' true. But I was on almost nothing. Input set to 2 or something. I would imagine for piano any pre in an interface is going to work just fine. That's what I meant by know the return policy. You don't know if they work for you until you know. But it is worth finding out.[/quote'] Oh, only APIs, ha. Yeah, I will get that return policy. The only 2-channel pres I have are my interface (Focusrite Scarlett 8i6) and a Symetrix SX-202. Then I have a Focusrite ISA ONE and a GAP Pre 73, trying to pick between these. So not sure what I would run these through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted August 11, 2014 Members Share Posted August 11, 2014 I have a Fathead and yes, like most ribbon mics it is going to need a lot of good sounding gain. FWIW I don't love the Fathead on a Neve style preamp but I haven't tried it on a piano. It does give you a different flavor on guitar cabs but most of the time I just go with an Sm-57 right on the grill and only mix in the Fathead for a little bit of the room. YMMV, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted August 11, 2014 Author Moderators Share Posted August 11, 2014 Oh, only APIs, ha. Yeah, I will get that return policy. The only 2-channel pres I have are my interface (Focusrite Scarlett 8i6) and a Symetrix SX-202. Then I have a Focusrite ISA ONE and a GAP Pre 73, trying to pick between these. So not sure what I would run these through. My APIs have 65 dB of gain. Both of your multi pres, the Symetrix and the Focusrite have 60 dB of gain. I can't imagine this being any sort of issue. I messed with those Scarlett pres and they sounded great. And I used to use lots of the Symetrix stuff and thought it was workhorse great. You shouldn't have any issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Foose31 Posted August 11, 2014 Members Share Posted August 11, 2014 V1 Walking away Walking away I feel gray Walking away Walking away Walking away It's a colorless gray Walking away Walking away Walking away A kaleidoscope in gray Walking away Walking away Walking away The setting sun turns to gray As I'm walking away A dozen roses turn to gray I'm walking away Under-saturated gray A million shades of gray One hundred shades of gray A golden band, in oxidized gray A Polaroid fades to gray A wedding portrait in silver gray Bloodshot eyes and water gray Walking away Walking away Every steps a shade of grey Walking away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.