Jump to content

Genevieve Knows - Lyric in #48, Final mix (I think) in #85!


mbfrancis

Recommended Posts

  • Members

[Guys bear with my posting volume - my family is out of town for 5 weeks, so I am trying to be as productive as possible. Like the French, I will likely take all of August off. I'm always amazed that I'm still able to come up with songs.]

 

OK, this chorus melody came to me Sunday night. Some of the chorus words are similar to an early 80s hit song, but otherwise - um, did I write this? This is one of those that maybe came *too* easily, if you know what I mean. It's never happened to me where I had to kill the track, so I'm optimistic, but let me know. (I googled 'life's not lived it's waged' and found nothing...did I really think of that? Hard to believe.) [EDIT: Note I am not referring to the opening bassline, which clearly and deliberately lifts from a number of classic pop songs.]

 

Assuming I'm good, let me know what you think - does this cohere? Is it clear that I'm mocking her in my quote? Is the chorus too long? It's not meant to cure cancer, but does it hold together as a pop song? Any suggestions for a v2 or bridge direction are welcome. Usually I come to you guys with fully baked ideas, but this is definitely GOS - bring it on!

 

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12857186

 

 

"Genevieve Knows"

 

She's like, 'yeah,

someone oughta follow me

and write stuff down.'

I'm like, 'yeah, everytime you speak

it's like a brand new sound'

and every night's a blur

but still I'd go to bat for her

 

Chorus:

Genevieve takes the morning train

to get to to work by nine and back again

she says it seems like no one acts their age

and that it feels like life's not lived it's waged

and Genevieve knows my love for her grows

whether she stays or whether she goes insane

as long as she calls my name

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 87
  • Created
  • Last Reply
  • Members

So... on my second listen. I do really love that chorus, well... most of it. I think it could flow better in parts. The pause between "no" and "one" in the third line disrupts that nice smooth flow... but I'm sure you'll work stuff like that out as it matures.

 

The line "and Genevieve knows my love for her grows" sounds a bit too much like a musical... I don't think that's what you're going for... it's really the way you sing 'grows' that bugs me.

 

My first impression on the verse chords remains with me... perhaps too similar to Summer Lovin'... maybe you can alter the hits to disguise it.

 

The feel of this one kind of reminds me of this guy Frank Bango who I discovered this year... if you could channel some Frank Bango into this one... YES!

 

[video=youtube;9qdlWvpup3s]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Oh, whoops... forgot to even look at the lyrics. Yes, it is clear in the verse that you're mocking her... in fact, I think the first five lines are brilliant:

 

She's like, 'yeah,

someone oughta follow me

and write stuff down.'

I'm like, 'yeah, everytime you speak

it's like a brand new sound' (BWAHAHAHAHA)

and every night's a blur

but still I'd go to bat for her

 

But I'm not sure about the whole slant of loving her (at least throughout the song) is where I would've taken it... I kind of like the idea of a series of put-downs and almost comical scenarios like you did in the first verse. Maybe a surprise at the end that you've fallen for her? That would be cool.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Well, part of this was responding to a challenge from a friend to not make every person in my songs f^&ked up and pathological. Or on drugs. So me being in love with her was a way of softening the whole thing. I can certainly mock her the whole time but I'd rather not.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I wasn't super crazy about the way the last two lines of the verse. Maybe something like this?

 

She's like, 'yeah,

someone oughta follow me

and write stuff down.'

I'm like, 'yeah, everytime you speak

it's like a brand new sound'

Yet she's in my head

From the moment she leaves my bed... and

 

Genevieve takes the morning train

to get to to work by nine and back again

she says it seems like no one acts their age

and that it feels like life's not lived it's waged

and Genevieve knows my love for her grows

whether she stays or whether she goes insane

as long as she calls my name

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
I thought "blur/her" was a creative rhyme. Didn't even need to understand the lines themselves to want to sing along.

 

But I still hate you.

 

The rhyme was good, but it's a challenge to connect the verse and the chorus, not sure if it does it. Oh, and don't hate the playa... :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I like the song, but I really think you need to reconsider that bass line. I think you can maintain the rhythm and phrasing but change it melodically. It is just too recognisable as a lift from a couple of hit songs. Sloopy has been mentioned, but also The Game Of Love.

 

[video=youtube;7RgXQSd9ojA]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

For the record the opening bass line is a deliberate lift. The idea was to use the simplest bass line imaginable (the first chord progression I learned on guitar at 12 yrs old), in part because a bunch of weird chords are about to get thrown at you. If you don't think it works, that's fine, but it was deliberate - it didn't help that I asked upfront if I was ripping anything off without exempting the bass...

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Not to bump my own thread, but I've been trying to see if the chorus of this - which I love - rips anything off. You all have pretty encyclopedic pop music brains, so the fact that no one said anything was encouraging. The only thing I can find that it's close to is Georgy Girl - it has some common notes, the opening lift up to the 5th, the jump down to the 5th. But it's definitely not a rip-off.

 

In case anyone's wondering yes I'll change the opening bass line, but I'm trying to find something equally simple that hasn't been done. Very happy with this and very happy for everyone's feedback, gracias!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Nailed it, as far as I'm concerned. Folks are right that it's reminiscent of other tunes, but so be it. Musicians are magpies. The atonal chord changes with peculiar resolutions make it.

 

I agree with Genevieve: life isn't lived, it's waged. Glad someone's finally said so. I could easily fall in love with her. In fact, I think I just did. Which tells me the song is GOOD.

 

Thanks for the post!

 

Del

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
I agree with Genevieve: life isn't lived' date=' it's waged. Glad someone's finally said so. I could easily fall in love with her. In fact, I think I just did. Which tells me the song is GOOD.l[/quote']

Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!

Yeah I'm in love with her, too - that's why I can't mock her *too* much. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

No I don't think it rips anything off. It's nothing like Georgy Girl. Although I do hear what you're talking about. As far as the bassline goes, how about keeping the same exact rhythm but adding some chromaticism in like you do on your chord runs. For instance, C... C-G#... G#-F... Bb-A-G#-G. The G# lower than C, the F higher. You're better at this than I, but the point being by keeping the rhythm the same you allude to those songs and there feel that you whack it up with some black notes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
No I don't think it rips anything off. It's nothing like Georgy Girl. Although I do hear what you're talking about. As far as the bassline goes' date=' how about keeping the same exact rhythm but adding some chromaticism in like you do on your chord runs. For instance, C... C-G#... G#-F... Bb-A-G#-G. The G# lower than C, the F higher. You're better at this than I, but the point being by keeping the rhythm the same you allude to those songs and there feel that you whack it up with some black notes.[/quote']

Great ideas. Thing is, the whole point of the stupid simple bass line was to lull you into complacency before the weird chords come in - that's the whole point, to contrast. Part of me doesn't want to touch it, dunno. There are tons of options, just trying to keep it simple...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Thing is, the whole point of the stupid simple bass line was to lull you into complacency before the weird chords come in - that's the whole point, to contrast....

 

I think the idea is good, but the implementation doesn't cut it. The song is great, but the intellectualisation of the use of the opening well-known riff diminishes it IMO.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I think the idea is good, but the implementation doesn't cut it. The song is great, but the intellectualisation of the use of the opening well-known riff diminishes it IMO.

OK, Uncle, I'll change it, sheesh.

 

LCK, I swear it's something, but right now all I can think of is that's it's a cross of "Morning Train and "Georgy Girl.' If it's mine, there is a God. I just sang it into SoundHound, and it came back with this:

 

[video=youtube;h-6kKCX2q1I]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-6kKCX2q1I

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...