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  • Back and Forth (Updated post 103)

    I've emerged from my rock... made myself get into the studio last night to lay down this idea that's been in my head. Just a verse and chorus so far...

    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...ongID=12837430

    Back and Forth

    We've broken into two what was once was one
    We've shattered all the joys that once were fun
    Yet every time I fall you pick me up again
    Brush me off and send me packing

    Back and forth we drift into each other's consciousness
    The world is pushing us to be together love...
    Last edited by bee3; 07-14-2014, 11:57 AM.

  • #2
    Yeah... I like it. I especially like the half time chorus and its melody.

    Off the top of my head, I can see that the 2nd verse wants to be very different in arrangement than V1. Either V1 is no chucka guitar then it gets introduced in V2 or you break V2 way down. Or you go to an alt verse melody or something. I don't know why I say that other than as I listened it felt the need to shift gears instead of restate V1 identically.

    Anyway, cart before the horse and I'm probably wrong. Nice, nice start!
    __________
    Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
    Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
    Jesus

    Comment


    • #3
      Definitely something there. I agree with Lee that the half-time chorus is really cool.

      The one thing that bugged me is probably just personal taste. As a writer and a listener, I've grown tired of love songs, particularly when the melody and atmosphere is cool enough to carry a more unique story.

      Again, probably just me, but I had a twinge of disappointment that the lyric didn't take a cue from the music and go somewhere more interesting.
      Don't listen to Justin.
      LCK - 2/21/2012

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Oswlek View Post
        As a writer and a listener, I've grown tired of love songs, particularly when the melody and atmosphere is cool enough to carry a more unique story.
        Yes, but this has got the beginnings of an interesting love story.

        Nice tune so far. The bass and drums are great.
        Last edited by LCK; 06-27-2014, 03:28 PM.
        “Good Vibrations” was probably a good record but who's to know? You had to play it about 90 bloody times to even hear what they were singing about. What’s next? Rock opera? —Pete Townshend, Melody Maker Interview, 1966.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by bee3 View Post
          I've emerged from my rock...
          And there was me thinking you'ld been basking in the sunshine of all those excellent EP reviews…...

          I think the new track is good (Don't listen to Justin).
          Reading the lyric didn't grab my attention, but it all hangs together as words and music when listening (as it often happens).

          So goforit…….
          'Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn'.
          CHARLIE PARKER

          Comment


          • #6
            The world is pushing us to be together... Love
            __________
            Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
            Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
            Jesus

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Lee Knight View Post
              The world is pushing us to be together... Love
              Whoops. I didn't mean to post that line along. But that line is the crux of the song for me. All the back and forth at first had me a little disappointed too, but the idea of having that resolve and knowing the world is pushing you two together. That makes it fly right there. I suppose that was what I was hearing when I suggested changing out the second verse somewhat. Maybe it's a point of view issue that could be explored in that second verse. Magnet and steel, rivers and ocean. But something with a real back-and-forth not just a one-way attraction or repulsion. Some detail about wanting sugar in your tea and not wanting sugar in your tea. I think exploring other natural occurrences of this on and off again would be really interesting. I really think there is something there and what you've done Justin. And just to restate, the way you work the melody on the lyrics in the chorus is golden.
              __________
              Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
              Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
              Jesus

              Comment


              • #8
                Thanks everyone. It's the chorus that I really like and has been in my head for months. I'm not sure what direction to take it yet... but it will be on my mind until I can get something going on it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Oswlek View Post
                  The one thing that bugged me is probably just personal taste. As a writer and a listener, I've grown tired of love songs, particularly when the melody and atmosphere is cool enough to carry a more unique story.
                  Originally posted by LCK View Post

                  Yes, but this has got the beginnings of an interesting love story.
                  I always have listened to Justin....always.

                  Love and its attendant emotions...desire, need, etc., are always excellent fodder for songs because of their intensity and depth. I agree that they can get boring if they are not plumbed deeply enough to discover all of the hidden subtle nuance of such a complex set of emotions. In this case I like the back and forth aspect.

                  I just finished one that is a good example......lingering love that may be hindering a breakup. Smile. I won't post it here......it's at the top of my linked catalog.

                  I like how this song starts musically....that guitar sounds pretty good....especially as it gets close to breaking up a little. Love the chorus....I can tell that it has been with you for a while.




                  Leonard Scaper

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Oswlek View Post
                    Definitely something there. I agree with Lee that the half-time chorus is really cool.

                    The one thing that bugged me is probably just personal taste. As a writer and a listener, I've grown tired of love songs, particularly when the melody and atmosphere is cool enough to carry a more unique story.

                    Again, probably just me, but I had a twinge of disappointment that the lyric didn't take a cue from the music and go somewhere more interesting.
                    Yeah, love songs bug me, too - there are so many other interesting things to write about.* At heart, I'm just an eternal eleven-year-old.

                    But most music fans like love songs, and I'm pretty sure that anyone who does would like Bee's. Tight, catchy. The understated guitar parts are real ear candy. My advice to Bee: Just keep going - you're on a wave!

                    Del

                    *Some of my favorites: Food, booze, cowboys, cowgirls, cars, trains, trucks, bars, diners, guitars, salvation, redemption, damnation, life, death, fate, going home, leaving home, the road, working-class heroes, desperadoes, troubadours, gamblers, prophets, fools, hoboes, bums.

                    Of course, all those can be love songs, too. Sometimes it just depends on point of view. Is "El Paso" a love song, a gun, song, cantina song, or a horse song? Quien Sabe?
                    Last edited by Delmont; 07-05-2014, 07:37 AM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I got no problem with love songs.
                      __________
                      Ain't no sacrilege to call Elvis king
                      Dad is great and all but he never could sing -
                      Jesus

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by bee3 View Post
                        I've emerged from my rock... made myself get into the studio last night to lay down this idea that's been in my head. Just a verse and chorus so far...

                        http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...ongID=12837430

                        Back and Forth

                        We've broken into two what was once was one
                        We've shattered all the joys that once were fun
                        Yet every time I fall you pick me up again
                        Brush me off and send me packing

                        Back and forth we drift into each other's consciousness
                        The world is pushing us to be together love...
                        Loven this, particularly the force of the chorus. Looking foward to hearing more!
                        "Now and then... occasionally... it seems to have.... too many notes"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Lee Knight View Post
                          I got no problem with love songs.
                          Bee's is a good one. He's got the gift for finding that place between too general (a Hallmark card) and too specific (a tweet).

                          The theme of yo-yo relationships ("You Keep Me Hanging On," "It Hurts To Be Kind," "Bits and Pieces," "Hello, It's Me") has stood the test of time, and Bee has come up with a new spin.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Hey Justin this is really wonderful Feels like two different songs, in a good way. The chorus is trippy in a way I could never write. very cool.

                            It feels like there should be even more of tone a shift on "love"...like the song should stop, or go half time (or quarter time I guess). Or it needs some trippy sounds.

                            I'd call it "Back and Forth (We Drift)." Just seeing it called "Back and Forth" kind of bummed me out...irrational I know.
                            Last edited by mbfrancis; 07-17-2014, 05:27 PM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Like this lots so far, its VERY you.

                              I'd maybe say this

                              We've broken into two what once was one
                              We've shattered all the JOY that once WAS fun

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