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  • September Always Knows

    This is intended to be sung by a mature woman, but since I'm the closest to that currently available, the acapella version can be heard here. Just pretend it's Celine Dion with full orchestra, and in the bridge she's reaching the upper scale. Shouldn't be difficult. Any input on lyrics or tune appreciated. THX!

    Did a new vocal to reflect changes.

    http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7033200

    September Always Knows

  • #2
    I like it.

    Good use of imagery, good flow. Only thing that briefly confused me was the use of "her", referring to summer. Since this is the first pronoun or indication or gender in the song, and the listener's trying to figure out who the 'narrator' is, it's a bit confusing to refer to a 'her' before we know the song is being narrated by an "I".

    Pretty small point, but it leads me to wonder if you shouldn't foreshadow a little more in your first verses what the song is 'about'. Changing seasons is a timeworn symbol, and to not know until the fourth verse that the singer is missing someone particular may be a bit of a stretch.

    But ballads have never been my strong suit. And, as I say, I geniunely liked it.
    "It's the har-moan-ee in my heh-eh-eh-ed."...The Buzzcocks
    GW, folkrocky blues ordinaire: singer/songwriter/guitar/bass/drums & earl grey tea
    www.geoffreywelchman.com

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    • #3
      I like it. Will there be accompaniment? I can hear the chords behind it. However, I do applaud your ability to sing accapela and stay on pitch. Normally these kinds of demos sound like a train wreck and are excruciating. You have good pitch. I thought the song was fascinating. It pulled me in and kept me interested. What more could you ask? Good job.
      Alesis QS8, Ensoniq Fizmo, Oberheim OB-12, E-MU Vintage Keys Plus, Rhodes 73 Stage, Wurlitzer 145, Wurlitzer 146B, Wurlitzer 206A, Yamaha CP-70B, Yamaha CP-30, Kawai EP-608, Hohner D6 Clavinet, Mellotron M400, Hammond M-3, Vox Jaguar, Baldwin Fun Machine, Wurlitzer MLM, SCI Pro-One, Moog Rogue, Arp Explorer I, Moog Opus 3, Arp Omni 2, Multivox MX-202, Crumar Orchestrator, Crumar Performer, Akai AX80, Akai AX60 w/S612 sampler, Korg Poly 800, Ensoniq Mirage, Roland CR-78.

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      • #4
        Very good singing...like tspit74 said it is hard to stay sounding good acapella...good job on that...only a couple small suggs...

        The word fathom just doesn't seem to fit for me...of course it is your song but it seems almost to sophisticated for a song...


        My mind cannot fathom where time has gone (quickly gone)
        That short footbridge through Spring and into Fall
        I lean against my tree at Willow pond
        And wonder how September always knows


        I read something somewhere that using an internal rhyme on the line before the hook is a good way to write...and to also not rhyme the hook with anything else...you have done that here ...some may not agree but I think you put some effort into writing this well...

        Very nice write...

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        • #5
          This is really quite lovely. It mostly has a quite timeless feel. (The phrase " guess..." stood out a little anachronistically, though, as I let this song come unglued in time a little. But a word sub there would probably allow it to exist simultaneously in multiple time frames.)

          I could imagine someone like Jacqui McShee (from Pentangle) singing this -- but, honestly, you do a very nice job yourself. A capella solo singing is plenty hard and few, sensibly enough, try it. But you acquitted yourself nicely of the task.

          Aside from the potential anachronism thing mentioned above (which is really only pertinent to my contextualizing this song in terms of the English folk tradition), I can't really see much to worry about here. A few times I was wondering if the meter would work out in precise units but a little tinkering would fix any issues that might arise. This song looks pretty much ready to go, for the most part.

          I can't help but be curious, was this inspired by the parallel yet ultimately quite different title kicking around in the SW forum, "Sunday Never Knows"? If so, it's kind of a nice testament to the multifaceted nature of mutual inspiration. If not, it's still a nice coincidence.

          ‚Äč
          music and social stuff

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          • #6
            Just pretend it's Celine Dion with full orchestra, and in the bridge she's reaching the upper scale.


            This is a song for an alto. I'm hearing Anne Murray, with small combo backing.

            Nice work!

            R

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            • #7
              [COLOR="Red"]WrdsNmuzik,

              Thank you kindly. I had slight reservations about personifying summer, but then I asked myself how many GUYS I've heard of named Summer, and decided to go with it!


              [COLOR="Red"][COLOR="Green"]tspit74,

              Well, I surely couldn't ask for more, and that's a fact! I appreciate the nice words. I didn't even consider my singing as being up for critique. I would defer on that one in a heartbeat, but simply wanted you all to conceptualize how it might sound with accompaniment and a nice female vocalist.


              [COLOR="Blue"]Tbry,

              Hmmmm. I dunno, ya know? Maybe watching that late movie a couple of weeks ago influenced my choosing that word. Great B flick, though. You ever see "The Beast From 20,00 Fathoms?" So what's another 2 syl. word for comprehend? Thanks for the kind words and input.


              [COLOR="Navy"]b2b,
              Well, rats! You've outed me. But, in my defense, I must say that I am NOT a plagiarist. I have NEVER been a plagiarist. I am merely a borrower, by ned!
              Gee, I'm overwhelmed with the singing comments. I didn't have any other means for presenting the song other than by utilizing this microphone I won at the state fair, but I would love to hear Jacqui McShee do it (though I don't know who she is).

              Now then, I can't seem to find that "guess" you're referring to. Where, prithee, would that be? (Oddest thing, I never noticed it until I the LAST time I read it, thought it didn't look quite right, but it was time for lights out. I likely wouldn't have noticed it again, so I'm glad you mentioned it...wound up changing more than that in the bridge, for the better I hope...)

              Thank you, kind sir! With that encouragement, I'll see if I can scrape some $$$ for a demo.
              PS I had already been working on this one, but when I saw "Sunday Nevr Knows," it reminded me that I needed to pull it out of the closet (and I DON'T mean THAT closet {outed...not that there's anything WRONG with that), and finish it.

              [COLOR="Indigo"]MDR,
              You wouldn't happen to have a direct line to Mz. Murray, would ya? Thanks a lot.

              I truly appreciate all of your responses.
              pal

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              • #8
                Tbry,

                Hmmmm. I dunno, ya know? Maybe watching that late movie a couple of weeks ago influenced my choosing that word. Great B flick, though. You ever see "The Beast From 20,00 Fathoms?" So what's another 2 syl. word for comprehend? Thanks for the kind words and input.


                Embrace???...maybe a little more mainstream...or ...accept

                IDK...no haven't seen the movie but it is an odd singing word although you pulled it off...just thinking out loud...I can't fathom having to make that choice!!

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                • #9
                  Sandy Denny should come back from the dead and sing it. It has that timeless English folk vibe.
                  Alesis QS8, Ensoniq Fizmo, Oberheim OB-12, E-MU Vintage Keys Plus, Rhodes 73 Stage, Wurlitzer 145, Wurlitzer 146B, Wurlitzer 206A, Yamaha CP-70B, Yamaha CP-30, Kawai EP-608, Hohner D6 Clavinet, Mellotron M400, Hammond M-3, Vox Jaguar, Baldwin Fun Machine, Wurlitzer MLM, SCI Pro-One, Moog Rogue, Arp Explorer I, Moog Opus 3, Arp Omni 2, Multivox MX-202, Crumar Orchestrator, Crumar Performer, Akai AX80, Akai AX60 w/S612 sampler, Korg Poly 800, Ensoniq Mirage, Roland CR-78.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    One problem with "embrace" & "accept" is they have 2nd syllable accents. Messes with the rhythm. "Discern" has the same problem. "Figure" makes her sound dense. I could use "envision" and change it to "I cant" rather than cannot! Thanks for hanging in.

                    Never heard of S Denny, but I googled and saw that she died at 31...THIRTY years ago. Wow. Odd that I don't know, if she was recorded widely in the US.

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