Members Oswlek Posted March 5, 2012 Members Share Posted March 5, 2012 Here is an older one from the archives that I'd forgotten about until stumbling across it recently. Not sure if I'm ever going to do anything with it, but for me own good I'd like to firm up any weak spots. [video=youtube;MMMIjFEkV9o]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMMIjFEkV9o The protaganist of "One Night" is a true dirtbag who is trying to seduce a married friend. In my mind I pictured them being halves of couples buddies, though I don't believe I made that clear in the song. So, does the story come across well? Upgrades for a line or two (or three or four...)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mahuska Posted March 5, 2012 Members Share Posted March 5, 2012 Has a lot going on right. I felt it got to busy toward the end . Yes this is not a total clarificationeven you mentioning so . I did enjoy it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted March 5, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 5, 2012 Busy, huh? Probably had a lot to do with my non-existant mixing skills of two years ago, though I'll listen specifically for that again. Glad it at least carried you that far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mahuska Posted March 5, 2012 Members Share Posted March 5, 2012 Busy, huh? Probably had a lot to do with my non-existant mixing skills of two years ago, though I'll listen specifically for that again. Glad it at least carried you that far. don't get me wrong did go "further" I just heard some different avenues, believe me I know what it is like to pull older mixes, some times I cringe. but not away so I'll give it more of my ear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted March 5, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 5, 2012 don't get me wrong did go "further" I just heard some different avenues, believe me I know what it is like to pull older mixes, some times I cringe. but not away soI'll give it more of my ear. I hear you, BTW, I was criticizing the song with my earlier reply, not your efforts. Mea Culpa if it came across differently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted March 5, 2012 Members Share Posted March 5, 2012 Listening as I write.... Here are a few things I'm hearing......... You're homeward bound You just need a break So you say..... .......felt just a bit...wordy. And all those S's in there lead to inherent sibilance issues. But... You believe him So don't leave him ....is fantastic. In fact, perhaps that is your hook line and you should find a way to bring it out even more. Love the way you lead in to the break. Sends your hungry Other under cover ....also fantastic. Very cool interlude......extremely cool in fact. The double vox at around 4:40 didn't make me smile. Nice lead acoustic work....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted March 5, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 5, 2012 The double vox at around 4:40 didn't make me smile Another vote against. Duly noted. FTR, my singing is terrible there, so I wonder if that is an issue as well... Thanks for the review, Len. That "so you say" was an area I was ambivalent about. It almost sounds like she is propositioning him wheras it is supposed to mean that see says she'll leave and go home soon enough. I do like the syllabic flow of it, which would keep it "wordy" but I'll see if I can come up with something else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mahuska Posted March 5, 2012 Members Share Posted March 5, 2012 I would pursue it, even though the topic all too familiar in many eyes than have ventured there .......There is always two sides of a story one betrayal and one a sad truth some can find easy tojustify. Liked it better the 2/nd 3rd.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted March 5, 2012 Author Members Share Posted March 5, 2012 You know, after listening to Rick's song, perhaps I should just fade out around the 4:15 mark? That would cut it down by a minute and negate the need to "take it up a notch" in that final chorus and leave those harmonizing lead parts as the apex. I think that is the ticket. I even hate the outro solo and this eliminates that as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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