Jump to content

Poetry as song lyrics


Recommended Posts

  • Members

[video=youtube;6oW1fnfPYB0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oW1fnfPYB0

 

So some times you're looking at a sheet of words and it just doesn't fit into a traditional song. So why not go real artsy with it?

 

I am really happy with the result. Diversify myself.

 

Anyone listen to Joseph Arthur? He was the vibe I was feeling on this, don't know why.

 

Questions?:lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

Yeah, I liked that a lot. And I love the repeating structure of the Where am I going, if I'm going at all? Am I building something worth building, if I'm building something at all? Etc. Very cool.

 

And your video work is awesome. I love the roses in the side mirror. I love seeing Chicago, I miss it. The clouds drifting left and a low opacity something else drifting right. Lots of work in that video alone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

Yeah, I liked that a lot. And I love the repeating structure of the Where am I going, if I'm going at all? Am I building something worth building, if I'm building something at all? Etc. Very cool.


And your video work is awesome. I love the roses in the side mirror. I love seeing Chicago, I miss it. The clouds drifting left and a low opacity something else drifting right. Lots of work in that video alone.

 

 

Thank you Lee. That lyric was the first one that I wrote. "Where am I going" Is what I kept repeating to myself for the better part of the last three months. It has a lot of meaning to it in a figurative sense.

 

The video was a labor of love. Started very simple as far as layout and content, but found that it didn't match the video in my head that i wanted to make. so i kept working it, much like a song, until i was really happy with it delivering my message. Chicago is a perfect backdrop for any video too

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hi, Jack!

 

I'm the HC Songwriting Forum mod. This forum runs a little differently than many others, so we've set up a Welcome / Guidelines / Resources sticky thread (the important stuff is all in the first post). Don't worry if (what I believe is) your first post bent any rules (not saying it did, mind you). It's pretty much par for the course. I think that first post in the Welcome thread explains why we do have some rules pretty well, but if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask via PM or a post. :thu:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I liked the vid, Jack. (Tim?) The juxtaposition of the gentle, fingerpicked background and the super-reserved vocal delivery against the jacked up hyperspeed vid is really interesting and provocative.

 

I've done at least a couple of similar things, myself. Here's

.*

 

 

 

That scary, primal sax work is by the redoubtable Jeff Turmes, songwriter, singer, guitarist, stand up bassman, and reedman.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

Very cool. Reminded me of Raymond Carver's "So Much Water, So Close to Home".

 

I may have read that. For a while in the 80s I read a lot of Carver. In fact, that makes a lot of sense. I had been thinking that maybe the image had come to me back channel by people talking about the movie, "Stand by Me," which I believe has a scene where some boys find a body. But Carver makes more sense, as I read a lot of him really fast and his backed off style sort of informed some of my later prose writing, I think. That connection makes a lot more sense.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hi, Jack
!


I'm the HC Songwriting Forum mod. This forum runs a little differently than many others, so we've set up a
Welcome / Guidelines / Resources sticky thread
(the important stuff is all in the first post). Don't worry if (what I believe is) your first post bent any rules (not saying it did, mind you). It's pretty much par for the course. I think that first post in the Welcome thread explains why we do have some rules pretty well, but if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask via PM or a post.
:thu:

 

sounds good, I like it in this neighborhood...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I may have read that. For a while in the 80s I read a lot of Carver. In fact, that makes a lot of sense. I had been thinking that maybe the image had come to me back channel by people talking about the movie, "Stand by Me," which I believe has a scene where some boys find a body. But Carver makes more sense, as I read a lot of him really fast and his backed off style sort of informed some of my later prose writing, I think. That connection makes a lot more sense.

 

Yeah, there is a similar scene in "Stand By Me" which also came to mind. :thu:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

I like the video and I think the song works in this "spoken word" format.

 

 

Thanks, I agree. It was a departure for me, but I had to say yes and follow the direction my head was going. I'm glad I did, it took me someplace where I wasn't expecting I was going to go and loved every minute of it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Spoken Word is a hard genre to work in. There aren't a lot of people who self-identify as "spoken word" fans, and casual listeners have a set of musical expectations for audio material that just aren't addressed in this format. Still, sometimes that's the only way that a song will work, and ultimately, you have to respect the wishes of the song over the desires of the audience. I think the visuals help in your case - it gives the audience something to focus on instead of wondering "why doesn't this song have a hook"? ;)

 

I've done a few spoken word things in the past. One genre where the audience expectations align more closely with spoken word is Hip-Hop, so if possible I try to come up with some kind of Hip-Hop style backing track. Still, your backing track is very folky-acoustic, and I've tried a more musical style a couple of times as well.

 

Hip-Hop

A Hard And Demanding Man

Jackson Park (That's the Way I Roll)

 

Musical

68th and Chappel, 1989 Part 1

68th and Chappel, 1989 Part 2

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

Thank you, I really enjoy it too. thats the point, right? why do something if you're not enjoying it?

Exactly.

 

Sometimes I'm a little ashamed when I listen to one of my songs and find myself saying, That's a good track. But I try to make the kind of music I like. I'm pretty well done trying to make music to suit others -- it's a crap shoot in the first place and then you end up with something you, yourself, don't really care to hear except, in those cases where it kind of works, to convince yourself that you could, indeed, to it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

Exactly.


Sometimes I'm a little ashamed when I listen to one of my songs and find myself saying,
That's a good track.
But I try to make the kind of music I like. I'm pretty well done trying to make music to suit others -- it's a crap shoot in the first place and then you end up with something you, yourself, don't really care to hear except, in those cases where it kind of works, to convince yourself that you could, indeed, to it.

 

 

absolutely, when I like something i've created it lets me know i'm doing what i wanted to do at the start of my music career, that's to make music for myself, i do it for me. if other people like what i share, then that is a great gift. it says that we share a similar taste and appreciation. that can be quite a strong bond.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

Exactly.


Sometimes I'm a little ashamed when I listen to one of my songs and find myself saying,
That's a good track.
But I try to make the kind of music I like. I'm pretty well done trying to make music to suit others -- it's a crap shoot in the first place and then you end up with something you, yourself, don't really care to hear except, in those cases where it kind of works, to convince yourself that you could, indeed, to it.

 

 

As an early '60's singer/songwriter/tv personality/pop icon once sang, "You know you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

:p

 

Means 'moment.' It took me a while to know how I felt about the track. I then fell asleep and forgot about it.

 

The thing about spoken word is that it lacks melody - probably the most important thing in a song. If you lack a good melody/any melody, you'd better compensate in the other pillars of music.

 

I felt the lyrics came across as overly subjective and, though the intention was to be 'artsy', it came across as only presenting a pre-supposed idea of what 'artsy' is. I felt it lacked artistic creativity and was only successful in creating an impression of being 'artsy'

 

The main issue is that it seemed you weren't saying much explicitly, which I feel is important in the spoken word genre. I'd want to hear something clearly very interesting with a great deal of passion behind it. Obviously people do appreciate what you've posted, but it only really has place as background music in a living room or music festival tent.

 

As it has been presented, it's not very interesting.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...