Members oldgitplayer Posted September 15, 2012 Members Share Posted September 15, 2012 This is something I'm currently putting together.Rick invited me to run some of my stuff past him, and he thinks I'm musically ready, and should start posting my material for input. So here goes : 1st question - Do you think this piece of music sounds right for the lyric? If so, then I'll start getting a vocal melody ready to post.2nd - Please comment on the lyric.3rd - Don't comment on the playing and recording. This is just rough stuff on a Zoom H1 and patched together in Garageband. Anyway, I won't really know what you're talking about. I'm going to need a lot of help on the music front. Down the towpath Burton (2011) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted September 15, 2012 Members Share Posted September 15, 2012 Work those winsome major sevenths! (but it's hard to follow the lyric sheet without something to guide me for the melody line and meter) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 15, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 15, 2012 Work those winsome major sevenths! (but it's hard to follow the lyric sheet without something to guide me for the melody line and meter) Yep - but I've got to take one step at a time. What do you hear in the music? Do you feel a languid sunny day where everything is easy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted September 15, 2012 Members Share Posted September 15, 2012 Yep - but I've got to take one step at a time. What do you hear in the music? Do you feel a languid sunny day where everything is easy? Not only that, I feel like this is a Rick-influenced tune! Very nice, both the background track and the lyric. I guess spring must be coming to Aussie-land! LCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted September 15, 2012 Members Share Posted September 15, 2012 Lovely, even makes me think happy thoughts. The only thing I could say for certain is that I hope the vocals enter at 0:22. I love it when verses make a surprise entrance and this is a great set up for one. To make it really notable, you'd probably want to just strum that chord once when the vox arrives and then wait until 0:24 or 0:25 for the next to come in. Anything else will need to hear a melody to pick apart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 15, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 15, 2012 Lovely, even makes me think happy thoughts.The only thing I could say for certain is that I hope the vocals enter at 0:22. I love it when verses make a surprise entrance and this is a great set up for one. To make it really notable, you'd probably want to just strum that chord once when the vox arrives and then wait until 0:24 or 0:25 for the next to come in.Anything else will need to hear a melody to pick apart. I'm glad it feels happy - I'm thinking a Lovin' Spoonful 'Daydream' vibe. Interesting that you mention the chord strum. I've done a track with a single downstroke chord on the 1 of every 4. I just didn't do it for this mix. It was in my 1st mix at 100 bpm which was dragging its heels a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted September 15, 2012 Members Share Posted September 15, 2012 Well I love it. I actually found myself singing the third verse when it came around. Definitely has a 'Spoonful' vibe to it. Thanks for getting this out here. Don't stop now. Oh, and btw........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 15, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 15, 2012 Well I love it. I actually found myself singing the third verse when it came around. Definitely has a 'Spoonful' vibe to it. Thanks for getting this out here. Don't stop now. Oh, and btw........ As long as I can get beyond the meh vocal melody barrier, there's no reason to stop. Glad you love it, and glad it made you sing - I think your response answers my initial question on whether the music and lyric feel connected. Aah.......1975 - the years of being a twentysomething.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted September 15, 2012 Members Share Posted September 15, 2012 As long as I can get beyond the meh vocal melody barrier, there's no reason to stop. Listen, my friend, to everything else that gets posted. Singing is a bit like playing golf in that there is always somebody out there who is worse than you. That tenet has sustained me for all these years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 15, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 15, 2012 Listen, my friend, to everything else that gets posted. Singing is a bit like playing golf in that there is always somebody out there who is worse than you. That tenet has sustained me for all these years. I'm now fully prepared to punish your musical sensibilities with my 'songwriter's voice', but I have to compose a melody first, don't I? And that my friend, is as rare as the proverbial rocking-horse droppings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted September 15, 2012 Members Share Posted September 15, 2012 I have to compose a melody first, don't I? Actually....no, you don't. The first thing you have to do is just sing. Sing first....see what feels right. Then compose. This coming from a guy who has never once 'composed' a melody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 16, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 16, 2012 Actually....no, you don't. The first thing you have to do is just sing. Sing first....see what feels right. Then compose. This coming from a guy who has never once 'composed' a melody. I do exactly that - but don't end up with anything shower hummable. So I start harmonising it to add interest. But the primary melody remains tres ordinaire. Which is probably why I go to town with unusual combinations of backing chords - because they invoke a melody that it is not naturally in me. You'll see what I mean as I start posting stuff. I know I'm going to get comments about crafting melody - but I've read books on it, and it still doesn't happen. And if anyone tells me to learn my scales, I'll commit a homicybercrime........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted September 16, 2012 Members Share Posted September 16, 2012 And if anyone tells me to learn my scales, I'll commit a homicybercrime........... You guys use scales? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Monkey Uncle Posted September 16, 2012 Members Share Posted September 16, 2012 The music has a very happy sound. Even without a vocal, it put me right there with you along that canal. I'll have to wait to hear music and vocal together to really get a feel for what works and what doesn't, but here are a couple of preliminary observations: --I noticed that the first verse has an AAAA rhyme scheme, while the rest of the verses, as well as the chorus, have an AABB scheme. That's not necessarily a problem, just something I noticed. --In the second verse, you rhymed "canal" with "well." I'm not sure what the Aussie pronunciation of those words sounds like, so maybe that would work? I once knew a guy in eastern N.C. who could have easily rhymed those words, but I think it's going to sound strange to most Americans. Regarding your build up to posting, I'm getting the feeling that you might be a bit of a perfectionist. As Lenny said, there is always someone out there who is worse than you. Well, that's why I'm here - so the real musicians won't feel bad about posting their slightly imperfect tracks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted September 16, 2012 Members Share Posted September 16, 2012 Oh yeah... this is going to be really nice. I love the feel... although I think the drums need to be a bit less out-front (the bass drum particularly). The shaker is great though! This absolutely has the feel-good, spring is here kind of vibe. I admire your ability to come up with these detailed and descriptive lyrics. I have issue with only one line... The air is sweet and life's so neat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted September 16, 2012 Moderators Share Posted September 16, 2012 Nice track OGP!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 16, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 16, 2012 Oh yeah... this is going to be really nice. I love the feel... although I think the drums need to be a bit less out-front (the bass drum particularly). The shaker is great though! This absolutely has the feel-good, spring is here kind of vibe. I admire your ability to come up with these detailed and descriptive lyrics. I have issue with only one line... The air is sweet and life's so neat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted September 16, 2012 Members Share Posted September 16, 2012 Sorry I haven't commented on this. I am still getting over the fact you have posted some music and was going to wait til the vocal version (no matter how rough) was posted before joining in. The idea is good , I'd like to see how you tackle it. Main thing is, you're making progress and I am very pleased to see this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 17, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 17, 2012 Sorry I haven't commented on this. I am still getting over the fact you have posted some music and was going to wait til the vocal version (no matter how rough) was posted before joining in.The idea is good , I'd like to see how you tackle it.Main thing is, you're making progress and I am very pleased to see this Firstly - This forum has provided me with a lot of practical application for songwriting. Watching everyone else's work develop, and my own analysis and critiquing of other's work, have all been important building blocks to my progress over the past 12 months. So how am I tackling this one?With the positive feedback I've received on this track and lyric, I've done my usual scatting over the track and singing it in different ways.But I've discovered an additional dimension to exploring melody. I've never been a lead guitarist, but it hasn't been difficult to improvise over the top of the track and discover additional melodic opportunities that I didn't cover with my voice. This has been a long-term barrier that I may have overcome. So with a few melodic options now, I should be able to sing a demo to post.I was tickled that Soundclick is running the backing track at 51 in their acoustic charts (whatever that indicates). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted September 17, 2012 Members Share Posted September 17, 2012 I was tickled that Soundclick is running the backing track at 51 in their acoustic charts (whatever that indicates). Cool! LCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted September 17, 2012 Members Share Posted September 17, 2012 cartier ?????????????? ????? ?? ???? ???? ???? When they "fixed" the site's software, they must have neglected to re-enable the spam filters. Do they have spam filters? LCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted September 17, 2012 Members Share Posted September 17, 2012 Feels like spring! One thing... Isn't a towpath pretty well traveled? "The road less traveled" is a great phrase and good reference, but at this point it is a pretty common place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 17, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 17, 2012 Feels like spring!One thing... Isn't a towpath pretty well traveled?"The road less traveled" is a great phrase and good reference, but at this point it is a pretty common place. England has an extensive canal system that was developed for freight transport before the days of motorised road transport.Today, roads are obviously very busy places, but the canals and their towpaths are quiet now. They are the road less travelled.Anyway - that was my intention in the writing of the phrase. I think it works. And the obvious nod to Robert Frost for those who are familiar with his poem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted September 17, 2012 Members Share Posted September 17, 2012 Here in the Trenton, NJ, USA area we still have the Delaware Raritan Canal that was built around 1830 to handle barge traffic between New York City and Philadelphia. It's seldom used towpath provides a wonderfully peaceful place to walk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 17, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 17, 2012 Here in the Trenton, NJ, USA area we still have the Delaware Raritan Canal that was built around 1830 to handle barge traffic between New York City and Philadelphia. It's seldom used towpath provides a wonderfully peaceful place to walk. ............UK + US clincher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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