Members bee3 Posted September 19, 2012 Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 I, uh... I have no explanation for this one. http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11898440 You don't have to like itYou dress up for showLipstick in your pocket... fill it full of blow An 81 CamaroRusted out for sureLost it in the back seatYou'll be back for more Is that a comb in your back pocketMan you look so coolWhat's that patch on your jean jacket?Journey... hahahah... man pass me a cigarette I gotta get back to school Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 19, 2012 Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 We all seem to be going back to the future some way or another.This must be the high school Justin D manifesting.Yeh - go for it, but I think that the primary riff is a bit busy. Maybe it would have more emphasis if there were less notes and a pause.Hold on - I'll record how I would play it, and send you a PM............ That's no good - we can't upload mp3's.I'll send an email Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted September 19, 2012 Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 Hey man this IS ROCKIN!! Maybe try some light distortion on the verse vox.... not loads... just a little also on the long notes Lipstick in your pockeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.. could try a harmoney coming in halfway over the elongated note cool tune Been listening to the black keys? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 19, 2012 Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 Any thoughts on the riff? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 Hey man this IS ROCKIN!!Maybe try some light distortion on the verse vox.... not loads... just a littlealso on the long notesLipstick in your pockeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.. could try a harmoney coming in halfway over the elongated notecool tuneBeen listening to the black keys? I don't have any of their stuff... but I think that's the vibe I was going for... or maybe like a Jack White thing. Something raw... I'd like to do a song with no keyboards someday. This could be it... if I can getter over the sheer silliness of the subject matter. Maybe I'll write some real lyrics... and come up with a chorus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted September 19, 2012 Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 Ha! - love it - I was there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 Ha! - love it - I was there. Did you have a jean jacket with band patches? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted September 19, 2012 Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 Did you have a jean jacket with band patches? No, but plenty of my friends did. Used to get a ride to school with my buddy Chas. He had a rusted out Pinto and we would pull into the parking lot with Zep blasting and the pot smoke would come billowing out of the car as we opened the doors. The comb was a little earlier, but everyone in school had the outline of that comb worn white on the back pocket of their jeans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 No, but plenty of my friends did. Used to get a ride to school with my buddy Chas. He had a rusted out Pinto and we would pull into the parking lot with Zep blasting and the pot smoke would come billowing out of the car as we opened the doors. So, if I stick with the theme... I'll need a lot more of this sort of imagery. Keep up the suggestions... Local fairs where you can win Quiet Riot mirrors. Feather-laden roach clips. Three-quarter sleeve concert tees. What else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted September 19, 2012 Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 I like the lyric. I'm not sure if he's talking to a chick or a dude, though. The riff gets old pretty quickly, at least for me. This may sound counter-intuitive, but I think an Eric Gale kind of riff, mixed with the arena-rock one you've got now, might be cool. Of course an Eric Gale sound would be pretty hard to attain for someone who's not an accomplished guitarist. LCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted September 19, 2012 Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 Girls with teased out hair wearing torn sweatshirts and leggings. Polo shirts, deck shoes. Iron Maiden. What about having the narrator being someone's dorky little brother riding a banana seat bike? :poke: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 What about having the narrator being someone's dorky little brother riding a banana seat bike? :poke: Ooh... low blow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 I like the lyric. I'm not sure if he's talking to a chick or a dude, though.The riff gets old pretty quickly, at least for me. This may sound counter-intuitive, but I think an Eric Gale kind of riff, mixed with the arena-rock one you've got now, might be cool. Of course an Eric Gale sound would be pretty hard to attain for someone who's not an accomplished guitarist.LCK Not sure who Eric Gale is... but your point about the riff getting old is valid. I think maybe when vocals come in, it drops down to just a bass or something like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted September 19, 2012 Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 Yeah, the riff gets old quick, you need to do something to shake things up. If you really want to have it been that much the crux, then pull some Chili Peppers trick and have the guitar drop off and run with just the bass in the verses. Frankly, the entire thing feels like it needs Flea's bass chops. The intro either needs a lot of candy sprinkled or it needs to be shortened a great deal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted September 19, 2012 Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 Not sure who Eric Gale is... but your point about the riff getting old is valid. I think maybe when vocals come in, it drops down to just a bass or something like that. Ha! I just said that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 Yeah, the riff gets old quick, you need to do something to shake things up. If you really want to have it been that much the crux, then pull some Chili Peppers trick and have the guitar drop off and run with just the bass in the verses. Frankly, the entire thing feels like it needs Flea's bass chops. The intro either needs a lot of candy sprinkled or it needs to be shortened a great deal. Eric Gale... now Flea... You guys are overestimating my abilities. I used to play in a band with a killer slap bass player. Wonder where he is these days? He was solid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted September 19, 2012 Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 Ooh... low blow. Intro is a sample of "Buttercup". You hear the record getting ripped off of the player, various cracking/smashing sounds, car ignition and on-its-last-legs transmission, and then the guitar riff? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 Intro is a sample of "Buttercup". You hear the record getting ripped off of the player, various cracking/smashing sounds, car ignition and on-its-last-legs transmission, and then the guitar riff? It's like you have a window into my entire life. Are you God? That was really funny by the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members frankthomson Posted September 19, 2012 Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 dood i live around the corner!!!sounds goodwhere's that confounded bridge? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted September 19, 2012 Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 It's like you have a window into my entire life. Are you God? That was really funny by the way. I'm here, Margaret. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted September 19, 2012 Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 Not sure who Eric Gale is... but your point about the riff getting old is valid. I think maybe when vocals come in, it drops down to just a bass or something like that. Mainly a jazz player, but did the lead guitar on this album. [video=youtube;57RIlznOpDM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57RIlznOpDM [video=youtube;2ekOLrDeShk] Here's something from one of his solo albums. [video=youtube;pEkSEvE-S4E] His style would be out of place for your song, but some mixture of his style and what you've got? I don't know. Just a thought. LCK BTW: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Gale#Appears_on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 His style would be out of place for your song, but some mixture of his style and what you've got?I don't know. Just a thought.LCKBTW: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Gale#Appears_on Oh... I love his work. That said, I think this song needs a more raw, less technically talented approach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted September 19, 2012 Moderators Share Posted September 19, 2012 nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUN WITH FREAKING FUZZ. My kinda guy. The only input I have is on the tone of the riff. And the bass part, what it plays. Just options, not recommendations because what you have is ROCKIN'! The guitar riff could use a Big Muff style fuzz to add that low end modulation that is so cool with guys like White, Auerbach, and before them... Page's punkier side. Some of that out of control low end would balance the bee buzz a bit and add some elephant huevos. It might be as simple as EQing some woofiness in. then the bass part. you have a counter bass part with the octave thing on the first half, then you double up with the guitar on the 2nd half of the riff. That's very cool, the way it offers the counterpoint, then locks into the riff. However, the repetitiveness the others are talking about could actually be handle here in the bass. and ironically... by doubling every note of the guitar as you build. You know, whereever you need the roof to come off, you just key into the bass by playing the whole freaking riff dumb and doubled and even having Bonham back there push some of the accents of the riff too. At key points in need of a break or build. I'm talking for relief, or rather the opposite of relief, to build and re-grab their attention. Even to the point of Mr. Bonham playing the whole guitar riff rhythm on low toms getting bloody tribal on your ass!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted September 19, 2012 Members Share Posted September 19, 2012 nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUN WITH FREAKING FUZZ. My kinda guy.The only input I have is on the tone of the riff. And the bass part, what it plays. Just options, not recommendations because what you have is ROCKIN'! The guitar riff could use a Big Muff style fuzz to add that low end modulation that is so cool with guys like White, Auerbach, and before them... Page's punkier side. Some of that out of control low end would balance the bee buzz a bit and add some elephant huevos. It might be as simple as EQing some woofiness in.then the bass part. you have a counter bass part with the octave thing on the first half, then you double up with the guitar on the 2nd half of the riff. That's very cool, the way it offers the counterpoint, then locks into the riff. However, the repetitiveness the others are talking about could actually be handle here in the bass. and ironically... by doubling every note of the guitar as you build. You know, whereever you need the roof to come off, you just key into the bass by playing the whole freaking riff dumb and doubled and even having Bonham back there push some of the accents of the riff too. At key points in need of a break or build.I'm talking for relief, or rather the opposite of relief, to build and re-grab their attention. Even to the point of Mr. Bonham playing the whole guitar riff rhythm on low toms getting bloody tribal on your ass!!! My thoughts conceptualized and expressed coherently ....... (or, +1) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.