Members rsadasiv Posted September 29, 2012 Members Share Posted September 29, 2012 Three Phone Calls HeyHeyHow are you doing todayI'm okStill feeling some painDid you ring for the nurses?Oh yes, they came right away.But no one will tell me how long I must stay?They're still running testsTry and get some restI'll call you tomorrow, ok?Ok HeyHeyDid you get to the hospital today?I did. I saw the doctor.What did he say?He wants to run some more tests.Then the nurse cameSo I couldn't stay.That's ok, it what they need to doTry and get some restI'll call you tomorrow, ok?Ok HeyHeyDo you think you can get down on Saturday?I can't do it from here, there's no freaking wayBut I'm planning to drive over Columbus Day.I don't understand why they have to keep running these testsYeah I know, I should go try and get some restI'll call you tomorrow, ok?Ok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 29, 2012 Members Share Posted September 29, 2012 It's great so far. Where are you going with it, or don't you know yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted September 29, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 29, 2012 Wait for the results of more tests.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 29, 2012 Members Share Posted September 29, 2012 Are you being whimsical with your answer, or is this autobiographical? (I should really know, because I've been through this movie before myself). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted September 29, 2012 Members Share Posted September 29, 2012 I like the symmetry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted September 29, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 29, 2012 Are you being whimsical with your answer, or is this autobiographical? (I should really know, because I've been through this movie before myself). My mom's in the hospital, my dad is 82 and neither my sister nor I live especially close by. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted September 29, 2012 Members Share Posted September 29, 2012 OK - it's not you. And yes, I've been through that movie myself in separate continents. There comes a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted September 29, 2012 Members Share Posted September 29, 2012 Three Phone CallsHeyHeyHow are you doing todayI'm okStill feeling some painDid you ring for the nurses?Oh yes, they came right away.But no one will tell me how long I must stay?They're still running testsTry and get some restI'll call you tomorrow, ok?OkHeyHeyDid you get to the hospital today?I did. I saw the doctor.What did he say?He wants to run some more tests.Then the nurse cameSo I couldn't stay.That's ok, it what they need to doTry and get some restI'll call you tomorrow, ok?OkHeyHeyDo you think you can get down on Saturday?I can't do it from here, there's no freaking wayBut I'm planning to drive over Columbus Day.I don't understand why they have to keep running these testsYeah I know, I should go try and get some restI'll call you tomorrow, ok?Ok Brilliant, as usual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mahuska Posted September 29, 2012 Members Share Posted September 29, 2012 This is creative and unusually cool that the same time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted September 29, 2012 Moderators Share Posted September 29, 2012 love it and hate it if you know what I mean. Painful subject. I wouldn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chicken Monkey Posted September 29, 2012 Members Share Posted September 29, 2012 There's a lot of potential understated hook material in the lyric, but I could see this with a rich backing track full of memorable little squiggles, too. This has the potential to be one of those amazing tracks that people listen to ten times before they start to piece together the lyric, at which point they fall in love with the song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted September 30, 2012 Author Members Share Posted September 30, 2012 There's a lot of potential understated hook material in the lyric, but I could see this with a rich backing track full of memorable little squiggles, too. This has the potential to be one of those amazing tracks that people listen to ten times before they start to piece together the lyric, at which point they fall in love with the song. 10 listens is a pretty high bar. I usually aim for two but a fraction approaching one is more realistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chicken Monkey Posted September 30, 2012 Members Share Posted September 30, 2012 10 listens is a pretty high bar. I usually aim for two but a fraction approaching one is more realistic. Gotta think in long-tail terms. Put it in the GJ Songwriting contest, and SOMEONE will put it in their iTunes, then it will end up on their phone, and eventually they'll shuffle through it often enough for the lyrics to sink in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted September 30, 2012 Members Share Posted September 30, 2012 Great, can't wait to hear what you do with it. At some point, I'll probably borrow a line or two.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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