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"I Brush My Tooth": Ready for Nashville? lol

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  • "I Brush My Tooth": Ready for Nashville? lol

    I haven't been able to write/record much lately, but I was able to excrete this little gem out yesterday. I wrote the lyrics/melody just rolling down the road yesterday, while drivin' my big truck. I got home and layed it all down in a couple hours.

    Enjoy!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4FdlXXRn8U


    I heard you say that country people ain't got no cooth
    Well, that ain't true
    Every mornin', when I wake up
    I brush my tooth, just like you

    I brush my tooth in the mornin'
    I brush my tooth in the afternoon
    I brush tooth (I brush my tooth)
    I brush my tooth too

    I heard you say that country people ain't got no class
    Well, kiss my ass
    I put my car on blocks in the front yard*
    to save on gas, save on gas

    I save on gas in the mornin'
    I save on gas in the afternoon
    I save on gas (I save on gas)
    Because my car don't move

    I heard you say that country people ain't all that bright...
    ...I think you might be right

    Well our gene pool ain't too big
    And our spelling ain't to good
    Just trying to live our lives the only way we know
    That includes adversely affecting the property value of the neighborhood*

    I heard you say that country people ain't got no cooth
    Well, that ain't true
    Every mornin', when I wake up
    I brush my tooth, just like you

    I brush my tooth in the mornin'
    I brush my tooth in the afternoon
    I brush tooth (I brush my tooth)
    I brush my tooth too

  • #2
    I find that hateful.
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    Comment


    • #3
      As a southern transplant from CA. I find it hilarious, and not too far off the mark in some areas around here.

      I'm no fan of belittling people on the grounds of race, sexual preference or anything else they have no control of, but there is a culture in the south that is proud of it's own ignorance. I have friends that love to tell everyone how stupid they are, and they say it with a gleam of pride it their eye. They deserve the ridicule.

      While Nashville may not be your target audience. I know people that would sing along with that song and mean it.

      Comment


      • #4
        It's hard to write a first-person song from the POV of someone you look down on without sounding like an ****************************. Dramey seems to think you've pulled it off; I'm not sure.

        Perhaps if the vocal were more sincere and less cartoonish? For instance, when Jeff Foxworthy used to mock rednecks, he had a way of making them feel they were in on the joke. This song doesn't do that.

        I will say that the track is well-produced. You've obviously put a lot of thought and effort into it.

        Also, since it's hard to imagine someone being proud of the fact that they've lost all their teeth but one, I might also add something to the effect of:

        "Ain't gonna let no city dentist wreck my smile. It's just fine, country style."

        I'd also try doing the vocal in a more relaxed, matter-of-fact style.
        "I write from a different place. I do not even know what it is called, or if it has a name. It just comes and I sculpt it. But it is also a lot of hard work." —Van Morrison

        Comment


        • #5
          It does provoke response, don't it? lol

          Some folks would like their songs to make folks happy. Sme folks would like to write songs, with the intention of selling them and making some cash money. Me, I just like puttin' stuff together and making myself laugh. These ideas, lyrics, jokes make me chuckle.

          And yeah, I know it will offend. I suppose that is part of the appeal as well. I like when people get upset. Being upset is a real, honest reaction. I am honored to have offended your sensibilities, lol.

          Comment


          • #6
            Being upset is a real, honest reaction.


            True enough....and I'm with dramey on this one, but just barely.

            It's dangerous territory here and it might have been better if the vocals were just a bit less....staged. I also like LCK's idea of finding a way to let your audience know that you are proud of this state.
            Leonard Scaper

            Comment


            • #7
              I am honored to have offended your sensibilities, lol.


              The only sensibilities I have are related to good songsmanship.
              "I write from a different place. I do not even know what it is called, or if it has a name. It just comes and I sculpt it. But it is also a lot of hard work." —Van Morrison

              Comment


              • #8
                Well, whatever sensibilities of mine have been offended are only related to good vs. bad songsmanship.


                Is it really that simple?

                Comment


                • #9
                  I myself have written a few songs that poke at the prideful ignorance that some blue collar white folks seem to have (though I've mostly kept them to myself). I think this one, however, crosses the line into being hateful just for the sake of being hateful. It is simply mocking people for the simple reason that they can't afford to live the middle class American lifestyle. I know we're all about free speech around here and we're not supposed to get into critiquing the writer's message. But I'm just wondering, what audience are you aiming for with this song?
                  Beware of deepities.<br>-- Daniel Dennett

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    But I'm just wondering, what audience are you aiming for with this song?


                    Like I said earlier, I write song that make ME laugh. I write songs for me. Chances are, nobody is gonna give a crap about any song I write, so I may as well keep me happy.

                    Also, it should be noted that I am not a very calculated person. I put this song together in couple hours, including the recording and mixing. I didn't really concern myself with the song's purpose at all. In fact, the folks in this thread have spent more brainpower considering the purpose of this song than I ever did.

                    I just write songs as hastily as I can. That's my game. I'll leave the hit song writing to someone else.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      If you write songs for yourself purely, then I would say this song is a success. It IS amusing but also obviously offensive to some, and not just those from the south.

                      I'm not from the States at all, but I'm aware very much of the culture differences between certain states and groups of states.

                      I actually find the title of this appeals to me in that I am a bit of a fan of the absurd and "brush my TOOTH" makes me smile.

                      I too write my songs in 1-2 hours and then they're "done" (but not really). It's an ok way to write if that's your style, as it is mine.

                      Did you set out to offend anyone with this song, might I ask? You seemed sort of amused or defensive or proud ("honoured" as you put it) to have offended someone here in this thread.
                      All things must pass...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I don't set out to offend, but I also don't let the possibility of offending affect my songwriting process. I don't set boundaries while in the songwriting process. Trust me when a say that this isn't the worst thing I've written. Hell, it isn't even the worst thing I've written within the past week.

                        I write for a totally selfish, but honest reason. I write for me.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          The production is well done, and the music is pretty good too. Especially since it was put together in a few hours. I wish I could push a song that fast. The lyrics and melody though aren't at the same level. It sounds like they got the least attention in the few hours it took to produce. The melody is choppy and lacks dimension, and the lyrics seem more of a rough draft than a finished product. I don't find it offensive (its too school yard to offend) I just find them not very creative. Unfotunately this makes the song very forgetful. Too bad its a finished piece. With thought and a little sophistication this may have produced something comic.
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                          • #14
                            I don't set out to offend, but I also don't let the possibility of offending affect my songwriting process. I don't set boundaries while in the songwriting process. Trust me when a say that this isn't the worst thing I've written. Hell, it isn't even the worst thing I've written within the past week.

                            I write for a totally selfish, but honest reason. I write for me.


                            Well, you know if you only wrote for yourself you wouldn't be posting the song here.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Well, you know if you only wrote for yourself you wouldn't be posting the song here.


                              Maybe a better way to phrase it is that I write song for my own selfish reasons.

                              Comment



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