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I Shoula been an Actor... yes... 4!


Lee Knight

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I'm... ok... nevermind... they're just "re-writes". Arghhh! Sorry. So... the rap is gone thank the gods and Buddha and whoever else you wanna thank. Superman too. I like it... trickery, some whatever. I'm going to bed soon. Ahh! is this bastard me!??!? I'm done. Input needed. {censored}!!! Um... sorry.

 

[video=youtube;7HazI1c_HNw]

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I have to say up front that you're a production/musical genius. Everything is perfectly in place.

 

That said, I think when you do the part with the pauses -- which is very ear catching -- and then go into the slide guitar, you don't need to continue the vocal refrain. At all.

 

Is that you playing slide? Because to me that section should just be a slide solo that gets hotter and hotter and then slowly fades out. No vocals after the one at 2:45. The song should fade out around 3:05 or so.

 

Anyway, that's what I think.

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I feel like the "I should have been an actor"s from 2:00 through 2:40 should be cut and replaced with some kind of new melodic idea.

 

 

And this isn't indicative of the song at all - I just noticed your signature.. "Be good and you will be lonesome." who am I to compete with Mark Twain, but: "Be bad and you will be loathsome."

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I have to say up front that you're a production/musical genius. Everything is perfectly in place.


That said, I think when you do the part with the pauses -- which is very ear catching -- and then go into the slide guitar, you don't need to continue the vocal refrain. At all.


Is that you playing slide? Because to me that section should just be a slide solo that gets hotter and hotter and then slowly fades out. No vocals after the one at 2:45. The song should fade out around 3:05 or so.


Anyway, that's what I think.

 

 

Yes, something along these lines. The repetition of the title line gets to be a bit too much.

 

I hate to have a thought like this at this point in the process, after you've put so much work into writing, recording, production, etc. So, please feel free to totally ignore what I'm about to say. I feel like the song is missing that little something that would make it 'pop' in the listener's ear. I guess you'd call that a hook. As it is now, the chorus is sung in the same musical territory as the verses, with the title line sounding almost spoken. Maybe you were going for a petulant attitude there, which is totally in-character, but it doesn't really launch the chorus or provide the 'lift' that listeners generally expect at that point in the song. What if you bumped up the vocals there? I'm thinking that line should be in the same general area as the 'venus in profile' line.

 

O.K., like I said, please feel free to ignore the previous suggestion if you feel like you're beyond that degree of re-tooling.

 

And I completely agree with LCK about you being a musical genius. Your attention to detail in the production is amazing.

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I'm... ok... nevermind... they're just "
re-writes
". Arghhh! Sorry. So... the rap is gone thank the gods and Buddha and whoever else you wanna thank. Superman too. I like it... trickery, some what
ever.
I'm going to bed soon. Ahh! is this bastard me!??!? I'm done. Input
needed.
{censored}!!! Um... sorry.

 

 

I gotta say, my frustration dispalyed above was very real. I just hit a real emotional wall. I wanted to through that Mac cross the room and go get drunk. I went to be instead.

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I have to say up front that you're a production/musical genius. Everything is perfectly in place.


That said, I think when you do the part with the pauses -- which is very ear catching -- and then go into the slide guitar, you don't need to continue the vocal refrain. At all.


Is that you playing slide? Because to me that section should just be a slide solo that gets hotter and hotter and then slowly fades out. No vocals after the one at 2:45. The song should fade out around 3:05 or so.


Anyway, that's what I think.

 

 

That's a bold edit but I like it...

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I feel like the "I should have been an actor"s from 2:00 through 2:40 should be cut and replaced with some kind of new melodic idea.



And this isn't indicative of the song at all - I just noticed your signature.. "Be good and you will be lonesome." who am I to compete with Mark Twain, but: "Be bad and you will be loathsome."

 

 

And I love this idea but I am tapped at this point for new stuff. I think I'm going to go the edit route though I totally agree with you here.

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Ok firstly i LOVE IT.


Personally....if it were me I would cut 2.00-2.25 and just drop that part at 2:25 right where the 2:00 mark is..... just cut that section


Whilst I love that middle bit it does feel a "little" long

 

 

And I love this edit idea as well. That's very clever... I think I need to start doing some save as'es and getting the balde out and try this as well as Lee's idea. That's good Stick.

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Yes, something along these lines. The repetition of the title line gets to be a bit too much.


I hate to have a thought like this at this point in the process, after you've put so much work into writing, recording, production, etc. So, please feel free to totally ignore what I'm about to say. I feel like the song is missing that little something that would make it 'pop' in the listener's ear. I guess you'd call that a hook. As it is now, the chorus is sung in the same musical territory as the verses, with the title line sounding almost spoken. Maybe you were going for a petulant attitude there, which is totally in-character, but it doesn't really launch the chorus or provide the 'lift' that listeners generally expect at that point in the song. What if you bumped up the vocals there? I'm thinking that line should be in the same general area as the 'venus in profile' line.


O.K., like I said, please feel free to ignore the previous suggestion if you feel like you're beyond that degree of re-tooling.


And I completely agree with LCK about you being a musical genius. Your attention to detail in the production is amazing.

 

:) And yes, this ^ is a big part of why I'm so frustrated. It totally sounds like I imaginged it in my head, Execpt I kinda don't like it for the reasons you mention.

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Ok firstly i LOVE IT.


Personally....if it were me I would cut 2.00-2.25 and just drop that part at 2:25 right where the 2:00 mark is..... just cut that section


Whilst I love that middle bit it does feel a "little" long

 

 

Agreed. Another alternative is to cut the first 8 seconds and go into the "oooh" part at 2:08 and nix the "I shoulda been" line a second or two later. But it definitely waits far too long to get to the meat of the solo.

 

Something not mentioned, but which bothered me was the echo-ish vocals on the title lines. I found them wholly distracting and think it woud be better without them.

 

Other than that, I enjoyed it.

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Is that slide with an octave pedal or just doubled up?


Either way, it's radtastic.

 

That's just me on slide on my cool little Yamaha...

 

yamaha5.jpg

 

I played it on my lap like a lap steel. The actions too low so you get that little fret buzz that Derek Trucks has mastered. Then I used the amp sound (Boss CS2 into an OCD into a Blackheart 3 watter cranked into an Avalon 1*12 Celestion sealed)) and in addition I used a direct feed as well (off the same performance) and sent that to a guitar sim (Guitar Rig) on a cleanish setting to accentuated those little Trucks-like fret outs. I panned the guitar sim off a bit to spead it out. Then I doubled the whole thing with a Tenor Sax sample buried.

 

Radtastic? I like that! :)

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Something not mentioned, but which bothered me was the echo-ish vocals on the title lines. I found them wholly distracting and think it woud be better without them.

 

 

Another source of my frustration. In an attempt to gussy up the chorus at C2 and C3, and as mentioned by MU about the lack of real melodic departure there, I tried to snazz it up and dazzle with the machine gun response on those key lines.

 

In one respect I love it, in another, as you said, it's distracting. I'd love some others to input on those if anyone is inclined...

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To me it's sooo much better without the rap, middle class white boy....
:)

 

I forget to comment on this. :) Yeah, I'm very glad I heeded the advice of Stick and others with regards to that rap. It was really working against the tune. BTW, it was never intended to be a hip hop type rap. I hope that was obvious. I got no skillz. I know you know that. I just want you know that I know that. :)

 

Nomsayin'?

 

13186_snoop-dogg-246663l.jpg?9d7bd4

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OK, this one has been bouncing around in my head all morning and I have two thoughts.

 

1) You don't need anything more as far as hooks go. It has more than enough staying power as it is and just the title alone brings those parts immediately to mind.

 

2) Stick is on the right track, but the more I consider it, the more I think he is snipping the wrong part. To me, the rap part - even without the rap - is the offender here. For my money, you should do as such:

 

2:00 - 2:15: Keep intact

2:15 - 2:23: Keep, but add elements of a build here, as if the song is getting ready to really explode, then jump directly to 2:37 as is, so you get a halt in the momentum but the guitar tells you it is only a matter of time before it all surges ahead again. You can even toss in a Steve Tyler "Guitar!" of "Oh!" once it all kicks back in.

 

For this idea to work, you can't deek us out on the start of the solo, though. You'd need to trim off 2:39-2:41, so that 2:37-2:38 lick leads directly into a rip-ass solo.

 

I've played this in my head so many times that I am 100% certain it will work and cure all that ails this tune.

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OK, this one has been bouncing around in my head all morning and I have two thoughts.


1) You don't need anything more as far as hooks go. It has more than enough staying power as it is and just the title alone brings those parts immediately to mind.


2) Stick is on the right track, but the more I consider it, the more I think he is snipping the wrong part. To me, the rap part - even without the rap - is the offender here. For my money, you should do as such:


2:00 - 2:15: Keep intact

2:15 - 2:23: Keep, but add elements of a build here, as if the song is getting ready to really explode, then jump directly to 2:37 as is, so you get a halt in the momentum but the guitar tells you it is only a matter of time before it all surges ahead again. You can even toss in a Steve Tyler "Guitar!" of "Oh!" once it all kicks back in.


For this idea to work, you can't deek us out on the start of the solo, though. You'd need to trim off 2:39-2:41, so that 2:37-2:38 lick leads directly into a rip-ass solo.


I've played this in my head so many times that I am 100% certain it will work and cure all that ails this tune.

 

Cool! I'll look into this. I like it. As far as a "rip ass" solo goes though, I'm afraid that's all I got. I don't really want to redo that. I like it. So, that's about as rip ass as it's going to get unfortuanately. :)

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Cool! I'll look into this. I like it. As far as a "rip ass" solo goes though, I'm afraid that's all I got. I don't really want to redo that. I like it. So, that's about as rip ass as it's going to get unfortuanately.
:)

 

OK... consider it looked into. That's great. It's almost what I did from the start but not quite as fleshed out as your take. My intention was to edit out those stops in the drum track but then I started seeing the potential of the section. I think I like your idea of snipping off the solo warm up riff as well and just right into it. Very nice the way you've detailed your idea.

 

I think it's a winner. Thanks!

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Well, I will strike a disparaging remark. I like the Rap version. This version is quite good, of course. But there's more meat on the bone with the whole Rap thing. Of course both versions stand quite nicely side by side. With this, non-rap-version, I am aware that the song is basically over at 2:12. Everything after that is repeat, or instrumental of repeat. I find that kinda tiring*. Of course I'm not much of a pop guy. But the last minute and a half doesn't offer anything new. That's sort of why I like the Rap and then a quick return to chorus and out. It sounds fresher.

 

But of course both versions are very excellent.

 

(* - My philosophy is to leave the listener wanting more; not tired and waiting for the end. I found myself tired at the end of this. Of course, as I said, I'm not much of a pop guy. You certainly hold my attention strong for the first 2:12.)

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