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  • Lady Penelope

    *Updated here as I go. I'm going to start work on this one...



    V1

    Little girl eyes, they seems to sympathize

    Or is it scrutinize, the things I do

    These tears of pride, you see the fear behind

    And though you're not unkind, sometimes you're cruel



    C

    You're not a little girl, I'm not your daddy

    There is no Superman, Lady Penelope

    It is a gift to love and live

    So we'll beg, borrow and give

    Our heroes are gone

    Long gone, Lady Penelope



    V2

    There's a better place, a place for gentle hands

    A place with bigger plans, for me and you

    And when our world starts to crumble, logic turns to jumble

    "I love you's" turn to mumble, I still love you



    C

    You're not a little girl, I'm not your daddy

    There is no Superman, Lady Penelope

    It is a gift to love and live

    So we'll beg, borrow and give

    Our heroes are gone

    Long gone, Lady Penelope



    B

    Remember the time spent driving in your car?

    The desert was electric, the day to day, hectic

    But still so far away



    C

    You're not a little girl, I'm not your daddy

    There is no Superman, Lady Penelope

    It is a gift to love and live

    When we beg, borrow and give

    Our heroes are gone

    Long gone, Lady Penelope





    _________________









    1st draft. Ideas?



    V1

    Little girl eyes, they seems to sympathize

    Or is it scrutinize, the things I do

    These tears of pride, you see the fear behind

    And though you're not unkind, sometimes you're cruel



    C

    You're not a little girl, I'm not your daddy

    There is no Superman, Lady Penelope

    The world's a better place to live

    When we beg, borrow and give

    Sad to say, our heroes are dead, Lady Penelope



    V2

    There's a better place, a place for gentle hands

    A place with bigger plans, for me and you

    And when our world starts to crumble, logic turns to jumble

    "I love you's" turn to mumble, I still love you



    C

    You're not a little girl, I'm not your daddy

    There is no Superman, Lady Penelope

    The world's a better place to live

    When we beg, borrow and give

    Sad to say, our heroes are dead, Lady Penelope



    B

    Remember the time spent driving in your car?

    The desert was electric, the day to day hectic

    Was so far away



    C

    But you're not a little girl, I'm not your daddy

    There is no Superman, Lady Penelope

    The world's a better place to live

    When we beg, borrow and give

    Sad to say, our heroes are dead, Lady Penelope

    Our heroes are dead, Lady Penelope
    ___

  • #2
    gone
    ___

    Comment


    • #3
      The picture is freaking me out.....



      I'm kind of an Odyssey nut, so that's making it difficult to see past the name.
      Lyrics Songs Demos Videos Covers Facebook Tumblr

      Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off.

      -Coco Chanel

      Comment


      • #4
        Not sure this is a great line coming out of the chorus, since you do the "better place" there:



        There's a better place, a place for gentle hands



        You'll have to forgive me, but I don't grasp the significance of "Lady Penelope". Must have missed that show.
        Don't listen to Justin.
        LCK - 2/21/2012

        Comment


        • #5






          Quote Originally Posted by Lee Knight
          View Post

          gone




          C'mon man, not cool.
          Lyrics Songs Demos Videos Covers Facebook Tumblr

          Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off.

          -Coco Chanel

          Comment


          • #6
            I think it's a great first draft. Very strong rhythmically. And that second verse is killer stuff.



            I like the internal rhyme on "Lady Penelope."



            One minor hitch: I don't fully understand the relationship b/w the singer and Penelope. By starting with "little girl eyes" you give us the impression that she's his daughter. Then you scotch that idea, but who is he now? Her uncle? We have to go even further to find out that it's a romantic (semi-romantic?) pairing.



            Also, while I like the idea of using hectic as a noun, it's kind of a head-scratcher, esp, when sung.



            How about "the desert was electric, the daily dialectic was so far away?"
            “I started being a songwriter pretending I could do it, and it turned out I could.” —James Taylor.

            Comment


            • #7
              I don't know if it makes any sense at all but I'll share what it is. Lady Penelope is a character from the puppet kid's show Thunderbirds. She was the London spy with the Thunderbirds and the daughter of an aristocrat. She's high maintenance.



              It is my wife's nickname. We had a fight and I realize I seem to be her surrogate father. Her dad was a scoundrel so she was raised by her mom alone.



              Enter: Me. i.e. Superman. Daddy. It can suck.



              So this was writing without restriction. Total purge city without refinement. I should nix the "little girl eyes". I like calling her Lady Penelope in the song. It sounds good. Kind of like the way Lady Godiva sounded to me as a kid before I understood who that figure was...



              I hope, and I think it is clear that the narrator is under the strain of her expectations. These are shoes impossible to fit in.



              So, there's the back story. How can I make it clear I can't/won't/not interested in filling the shoes of Superman in my wife's eyes? But I love her and want her to see that working hard without a sense of entitlement is a gift, not a burden.
              ___

              Comment


              • #8
                The problem I see is a mix of metaphoric fields... (although the reference to the puppet show sort of ties it together -- for people who get the reference)...



                We've got Lady Penelope (it sounds high maintenance, so it's kind of shorthand). But then we've got Superman... British aristocracy and Depression era comic book superhero... they don't seem to overlap.



                Without the foreknowledge that Lady Penelope was a character in the puppet show, I'm left with just the aristocracy and, being a flat-footed plodder, that would lead me to a tendency to keep the metaphoric field there, recasting Superman as, I dunno, some Prince Charming type. (Which might also give you as songwriter a chance to play some upstairs/downstairs with your metaphors.)



                Anyhow, I definitely got the missing-father-fixation thing from the lyrics as they are, despite early confusion as to roles. The roles ARE confused, after all, in the intended telling of the song, so it's natural, I think. Also, I don't think the little girl eyes part is necessarily a problem. It's actually fairly evocative -- and somewhat economical, as well, because, after all, one is not necessarily inclined to point out that a little girl has little girl eyes... so the implication, if one is willing to stretch just a bit, is that the object of attention is a grown woman who is indulging in 'little girl eyes.'


                music and social stuff | The Forgotify Files | A Year of Songs | mutant pop on facebook | roots acoustic on facebook


                The chorus seems a little weak... I think it needs more lasers.

                Comment


                • #9
                  ^^^ that's a great point. I need a synonym for hero there. Although I like the way the line echoes, "there is no Santa Clause". Sort of the big wake up and see reality moment. Hmmm. I like "There is no... " and then at least alluding to some mythical icon. Hmmm....
                  ___

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    You get Santa Claus in there, mixed with the Electra Complex stuff, and you got a real tangled can-o-worms, seems to me.


                    music and social stuff | The Forgotify Files | A Year of Songs | mutant pop on facebook | roots acoustic on facebook


                    The chorus seems a little weak... I think it needs more lasers.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I like this. I find it intriguing.



                      I felt the romantic vibe from the beginning. Maybe my mind is just in the gutter all the time, who knows?



                      This to me feels like a Fleetwood Mac - Beatles combination, which is interesting.
                      All things must pass...

                      Comment


                      • #12






                        Quote Originally Posted by grace_slick
                        View Post

                        I felt the romantic vibe from the beginning.




                        +1. I think you're fine in that regard.



                        I'm not crazy about using 'hectic' as a noun, but I realize your rhyme choices are pretty limited.



                        This phrase confused me: These tears of pride



                        I get the second part of that line about seeing the fear behind the pride, but I can't figure out why being proud would make you cry.



                        The chorus seems a little complex just reading it, but I can't wait to hear how it sounds over a great Lee Knight melody.
                        Beware of deepities.<br>-- Daniel Dennett

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hmm...why would being proud make someone cry...



                          Often pride for a loved one can be so overwhelming, it can bring on tears. And in terms of self-pride, tears can come from a more complicated place. Guilt mixed with pride, regret mixed with pride, the pressure of expectation and the resulting relief from feeling pride...stuff like that maybe.
                          All things must pass...

                          Comment


                          • #14






                            Quote Originally Posted by grace_slick
                            View Post

                            Hmm...why would being proud make someone cry...



                            Often pride for a loved one can be so overwhelming, it can bring on tears. And in terms of self-pride, tears can come from a more complicated place. Guilt mixed with pride, regret mixed with pride, the pressure of expectation and the resulting relief from feeling pride...stuff like that maybe.




                            That is exactly what I was thinking. I actually thought it was a great line, full of complex emotion in few words.
                            Don't listen to Justin.
                            LCK - 2/21/2012

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I think the "heroes are dead" line is a bit out of place



                              How about



                              You're not a little girl, I'm not your daddy

                              There is no Superman, Lady Penelope

                              The world's a better place to live

                              When we beg, borrow and give

                              Here's the deal, our heroes aren't real, Lady Penelope

                              Comment

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