Members TTognaci Posted October 13, 2012 Members Share Posted October 13, 2012 The writing of this song has undergone many changes to get to this point. I can't be too worried with the recording.....getting better seems to take a lot of time. I've never thrown it out to any of you here at Harmony....and, as always, get feed back here that I just don't get anywhere else! Thanks in advance for any and all comments. -Tom "Not That Kind Of Man" by Tom Tognaci http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10850743 I I heard my little girl crying late last night And I would be lying if I said I thought her boyfriend was Mr. Right I thought to tell her, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ShadowsofBirds Posted October 13, 2012 Members Share Posted October 13, 2012 Mm, a fellow resident of the pacific ocean. Aloha and such. My 20cts: Lyrically - First Impression of Verse I: Aww... First Impression of Verse II: "Baby" made me think significant other.. which made me think the second verse was going to be introspective. It took till the end of the verse before I realized I was confused and that it wasn't a shift in subject. Second impression of Verse I: Aww.. Second impression of Verse II: Aww.. Performance and Arrangement-wise it sounds good to me. Recording quality-wise it's a functional demo - the only thing I might change personally is that the lead guitar had a bit too much bite on my speakers. But it's probably still within the realm of the subjective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted October 13, 2012 Members Share Posted October 13, 2012 I think this is a highly creative and enjoyable song. I may have commented on MUSE but if not... What I like most about it is how the lyrics draw you into the story without it being head on. That whole asking questions thing " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted October 13, 2012 Members Share Posted October 13, 2012 Yeah, I agree with Ricki. I love the asking questions style of this song...I also find that the title line "He's not that kind of man" really fits well in the song and ties everything together (even if it wasn't the title). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted October 13, 2012 Members Share Posted October 13, 2012 I've struggled with this subject matter myself, and the only thought I can pass along is that it is very easy to slip entirely to one side on the narrative and land too hard on the judgmental while missing the opportunity for empathetic insight. The daughter sees something in him - what do you think that is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted October 13, 2012 Moderators Share Posted October 13, 2012 I can't listen right now but I absolutely love the lyric. I'd offer only one change. From "He Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted October 13, 2012 Members Share Posted October 13, 2012 Originally Posted by Lee Knight I'd offer only one change. From "He Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted October 14, 2012 Members Share Posted October 14, 2012 I don't know about the above suggestion to change the end line to another question. To me, it's a nice contrast to have all those questions asked and then BAM! An actual statement comes in and finalises things. I liked that, and if it IS what you want to convey in the song - that somehow you KNOW he's not that kind of man and you're only asking those questions of your daughter because you want HER to answer them herself and come to the same conclusion, then that's fine. However, if the meaning you're more interested in getting across is actually that you DON'T know if he's that kind of man but you just FEAR he's not good enough (as pretty much every father does about their daughters), then changing that line to a question is good and you have my approval. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RickDieffenbach Posted October 14, 2012 Members Share Posted October 14, 2012 I'd keep it as it is, with "He Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TTognaci Posted October 15, 2012 Author Members Share Posted October 15, 2012 -Hey there Shadowsbird......and Aloha!!!! Do you know any of the Ibanez (there are variences in the spelling) family? Anyways..thanks for listening and commenting....and Aww is wonderful! Thanks. The lyric was written on the bedside of my tearing little ficticious girl ;-) And the guitar is something I absolutely love.....but I do receive many doubts on the volume and tone....I'm not sure, yet, as to how to handle it. Thanks....... -Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted October 15, 2012 Members Share Posted October 15, 2012 I think it's great. The only thing I'd consider changing is 'princess,' probably my own personal hangup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TTognaci Posted October 15, 2012 Author Members Share Posted October 15, 2012 -Hey there Rickidoo....I am really pleased you like the lyric....thanks for listening and commenting!! -Tom -And thank you, as well, Leo, for the encourgement!! -Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TTognaci Posted October 15, 2012 Author Members Share Posted October 15, 2012 Originally Posted by grace_slick I don't know about the above suggestion to change the end line to another question. To me, it's a nice contrast to have all those questions asked and then BAM! An actual statement comes in and finalises things. I liked that, and if it IS what you want to convey in the song - that somehow you KNOW he's not that kind of man and you're only asking those questions of your daughter because you want HER to answer them herself and come to the same conclusion, then that's fine.However, if the meaning you're more interested in getting across is actually that you DON'T know if he's that kind of man but you just FEAR he's not good enough (as pretty much every father does about their daughters), then changing that line to a question is good and you have my approval. LOL Hi Grace...first off, I'd like to thank you for the Kudo's (they can be really under rated) ;-)And although Lee's prospective is a fresh one, and note worthy.....I am happy with the story's layout and punch lines....thanks for commenting Grace!! -Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TTognaci Posted October 15, 2012 Author Members Share Posted October 15, 2012 Hi Lee....thanks sooo much for commenting!! It is really appreciated. That's a good idea you have from a diffrent prospective...interesting....but, I am partial to the layout of the story as I have it. I'm coming from the angle that I know this dude, and don't like him.......but, for my daughter's sake, I must be respectful and gentle. Thanks again........-Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TTognaci Posted October 15, 2012 Author Members Share Posted October 15, 2012 Hey there Rick....so nice to hear from you!! And thanks for the listen and comment! And I think we should return our politicians to China for a full refund...(or maybe for full credit) Thanks again!! -Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TTognaci Posted October 15, 2012 Author Members Share Posted October 15, 2012 Hi Rino55.....thanks for listening and commenting........but, I really like princess....she's a princess to me, anyways!! ;-) Thanks again...... -Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TTognaci Posted October 15, 2012 Author Members Share Posted October 15, 2012 Originally Posted by rsadasiv I've struggled with this subject matter myself, and the only thought I can pass along is that it is very easy to slip entirely to one side on the narrative and land too hard on the judgmental while missing the opportunity for empathetic insight.The daughter sees something in him - what do you think that is? Hi Rsadasiv..........Thanks for listening and commenting...........well, she's probably like many young girls....she see's a pretty face....a beautiful smile....a wild, fun thing......and all the external qualities that send a young butterfly swooning.....I guess!Thanks again..... -Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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