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  • Here's one with audio: Invisible Line

    Any suggestions?



    http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...ongID=11951538



    invisible line



    So don
    <div class="signaturecontainer"><a href="http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=960990&amp;content=widgets" target="_blank">http://www.soundclick.com/bands/defa...ontent=widgets</a></div>

  • #2
    I like this - it's very moody both in music and lyric.

    It felt a tad long. Maybe you could do less repeats.



    Lyric-wise, I preferred 'it's what we deserve' rather than the earlier 'it's what you deserve'. .

    We know where the real blame lies.



    I think the song is 90% there - it might just benefit from another lyric edit.
    'Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn'.
    CHARLIE PARKER

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    • #3






      Quote Originally Posted by oldgitplayer
      View Post

      I like this - it's very moody both in music and lyric.

      It felt a tad long. Maybe you could do less repeats.



      Lyric-wise, I preferred 'it's what we deserve' rather than the earlier 'it's what you deserve'. .

      We know where the real blame lies.



      I think the song is 90% there - it might just benefit from another lyric edit.




      Up to that point the listener doesn't know. That was kind of the point. It seems a bit shocking to say what he's saying until later you realize he's right. The latter verse simply broadens the man's feeling of responsibility to the breakdown of the relationship. Makes sense? I'm not all that clever at explaining things.
      <div class="signaturecontainer"><a href="http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=960990&amp;content=widgets" target="_blank">http://www.soundclick.com/bands/defa...ontent=widgets</a></div>

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      • #4
        Like this a lot - your voice is excellent, has a kind of Eddie Vedder vibe to it on this song



        It is a little long but it held me attention.



        From a production point I did find those fret slide noises a little distracting as they were one of the loudest things in the mix.... maybe try micing nearer the sound hole and away from the fret a little?

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        • #5
          When I looked up....five minutes had transpired and I was waiting to hear more. The length, for me, was perfect. I love the meditative aspect of this song.....it's somewhat droning nature really sucked me deeply in.



          Regarding those string noises......some detailed volume automation might well mitigate them nicely. You don't want to lose them but you do want them to be in their proper place.



          I always look forward to your songs.
          Leonard Scaper

          Comment


          • #6






            Quote Originally Posted by stickboymusic
            View Post

            Like this a lot - your voice is excellent, has a kind of Eddie Vedder vibe to it on this song



            It is a little long but it held me attention.



            From a production point I did find those fret slide noises a little distracting as they were one of the loudest things in the mix.... maybe try micing nearer the sound hole and away from the fret a little?




            I think my mic is extremely sensitive. I'll give your suggestion a shot.
            <div class="signaturecontainer"><a href="http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=960990&amp;content=widgets" target="_blank">http://www.soundclick.com/bands/defa...ontent=widgets</a></div>

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            • #7
              a very atmospheric tune, and melody.



              The first 2 verses pulled me right along, interesting creative.



              I was really expecting the song to kick into high gear when "So don
              <div class="signaturecontainer"><a href="http://www.rickdieffenbach.com" target="_blank">www.rickdieffenbach.com</a>.</div>

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              • #8
                a very atmospheric tune, and melody.



                The first 2 verses pulled me right along, interesting creative.



                I was really expecting the song to kick into high gear when "So don
                <div class="signaturecontainer"><a href="http://www.rickdieffenbach.com" target="_blank">www.rickdieffenbach.com</a>.</div>

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                • #9
                  The opening stanza confused me. Not a good way to start out; confused. I really do like:

                  So don?t you say you?re in love

                  I don?t want to hear it

                  I believe it he?s the one you want

                  I know you?ll be trading up
                  . . . , (except for the silly question marks )



                  And I love the: "Did you see me looking at her" lines. So, I'd consider putting the "So don't say" verse up front, or rewrite your original first verse.
                  http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/marshallsongs
                  http://www.reverbnation.com/#!/marshallsongs

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                  • #10
                    @Stickboy or Leonard: What microphones do you guys use for recording guitars?
                    <div class="signaturecontainer"><a href="http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=960990&amp;content=widgets" target="_blank">http://www.soundclick.com/bands/defa...ontent=widgets</a></div>

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                    • #11






                      Quote Originally Posted by Ontological
                      View Post

                      @Stickboy or Leonard: What microphones do you guys use for recording guitars?




                      I use the same mic for EVERYTHING mine is a Rode NTK





                      Its more about the mic placement and being aware of noises.



                      The fret noises are actually nice they are just too loud in the mix to a point where they become a little distracting

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                      • #12
                        I also use the same microphone for everything, although I'm working on an acoustic track right now using two.



                        My main mic is a Peluso 22 251 tube condenser. I have also had great success using a Shure KSM32 which is a medium diameter capsule microphone that in incredibly.....honest. Perfect, really for capturing an acoustic guitar as that big ol' tube mic picks up everything and I have to be very conscious of any and all noises.
                        Leonard Scaper

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                        • #13






                          Quote Originally Posted by Ontological
                          View Post

                          Up to that point the listener doesn't know. That was kind of the point. It seems a bit shocking to say what he's saying until later you realize he's right. The latter verse simply broadens the man's feeling of responsibility to the breakdown of the relationship. Makes sense? I'm not all that clever at explaining things.




                          I can see what you are saying, but the contrast doesn't convey what you are going for, it doesn't pack the punch of a true revelation.



                          I like the song, but to my ears it was over at 2:20. Everything after that felt extraneous, but melodically and lyrically. I'd also strongly consider retaking the vocals, it wasn't up to your usual standards.
                          Don't listen to Justin.
                          LCK - 2/21/2012

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                          • #14






                            Quote Originally Posted by RickDieffenbach
                            View Post

                            I was really expecting the song to kick into high gear when "So don
                            Beware of deepities.<br>-- Daniel Dennett

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                            • #15
                              I listened to this last night through the little speaker on my iPhone (what a miracle of modern science that thing is) and it sounded great. The squeaks were a non issue there... but unfortunately they really are an issue here upon listen to this through a proper setup.



                              First off... the song is awesome, and you can't separate the simple but very very cool soundscape you've created for it. Really, it all works as this way too cool symbiotic entity of writing, performance and arrangement/production. Really, really, nice.



                              So the squeaks. Run the acoustic guitar track through a plugin de-essor. Use the listen function to tune the freq so that squeak is isolated, it will jump WAY out when you find the right frequency. Then take it out of listen and lower the threshold so it only attenuates when the squeak occurs. Make sure it doesn't engage but only on those squeaks. Set the amount of attenuation so the squeaks are still there but in a natural balance. done.
                              ___

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