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  • Who Is Your Savior Now

    This song came on suddenly, The lyrics flowed freely and I caught them in a pretty raw form.



    I worry a bit, though, about the title/hook, even though I may not be able to change it. There are certain....possible implications...to such a title that I would ordinarily wish to avoid. Perhaps there is another way to say this....



    http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11944626



    Who is your savior now

    Here on this island

    Who is your savior

    Why are you smiling

    Who is your savior



    You've been the rave for years

    Up in your highlands

    With all of your savoir faire

    I see you're still smiling

    So who is this savior



    I wonder

    If you

    Really

    Can live without

    'Cause under

    All of that peace of mind

    Thunder rages

    And there is no doubt

    Who your savior is



    Thunder rages

    Spawned by the wind

    That turned this page

    And you know who it is

    That through the ages

    Has been your savior

    So who is your savior now




    instrumental



    Here in this cave

    Here on this island

    Who is your savior

    Look at that smile now

    Such childish behavior

    Who is your savior
    Leonard Scaper

  • #2
    I have no idea who the guy's savior is, but I'm not sure if I should, or if I should care.



    So while I'm not sure what it all means, the upshot is I really like it anyway. In fact I think it's terrific.
    "I write from a different place. I do not even know what it is called, or if it has a name. It just comes and I sculpt it. But it is also a lot of hard work." —Van Morrison

    Comment


    • #3
      Why would you not care, LCK!? Maybe it is so incredibly crucial, even the character is only just starting to realise its importance.



      I love this song, as I always do Lenny's songs...especially...









      Quote Originally Posted by LeonardScaper
      View Post

      Thunder rages

      Spawned by the wind

      That turned this page

      And you know who it is

      That through the ages

      Has been your savior

      So who is your savior now




      All things must pass...

      Comment


      • #4
        You'd do well to copywrite that before posting it: just sayin'.

        Comment


        • #5
          Very nice Leo.........................I really like the way it moves me into wondering "who is your savior, now" As I imagine, I'm glad you don't spell it out for me / us (good job). I rather like the lyric the way it is.

          The music is sweet to the ears...a little unrehursed in parts, but a very nice balance of acoustics and electric.

          Your vocal comes in sincere and convincing.....good stuff, man!! -Tom

          Comment


          • #6






            Quote Originally Posted by LeonardScaper
            View Post

            I worry a bit, though, about the title/hook, even though I may not be able to change it. There are certain....possible implications...to such a title that I would ordinarily wish to avoid.




            I think the implications are right up-front, and that allows it to work in the way you intended.
            'Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn'.
            CHARLIE PARKER

            Comment


            • #7






              Quote Originally Posted by oldgitplayer
              View Post

              I think the implications are right up-front, and that allows it to work in the way you intended.




              This is what I had hoped for.









              Quote Originally Posted by TTognaci
              View Post

              a very nice balance of acoustics and electric.




              Was striving for that as well. Thanks, Tom.









              Quote Originally Posted by LCK
              View Post

              I have no idea who the guy's savior is, but I'm not sure if I should, or if I should care.




              This is actually a very important point in a song like this. As the writer, I do know who his savior is. But as Tom pointed out, it is often better to leave a little mystery for the listeners to take away with them.









              Quote Originally Posted by grace_slick
              View Post

              Maybe it is so incredibly crucial, even the character is only just starting to realise its importance.




              A very astute observation.



              I often walk this line in my lyrics and I had hoped that this time I was able to keep the balance.



              Thanks, folks, for specifically addressing my concerns with this one.
              Leonard Scaper

              Comment


              • #8
                I like the melody and the overall musical mood of the song. And generally, I like a lyric that doesn't hit me over the head. But in this case, I'm feeling like the basic metaphor is a bit too opaque. It sounds like you are not completely sure what it is supposed to mean. In my opinion, a vague lyric works when it focuses on imagery without trying to tell a story or make a point. But in this case, it sounds like you are trying to do one or both of those, so you might want to think about some possible meanings and then tweak the lyric such that the listener at least has a launching pad for jumping to his/her own conclusions.



                But it does sound good - I think you're on the right track.
                Beware of deepities.-- Daniel Dennett

                Comment


                • #9
                  I don't really know what it means, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. And more importantly, I really wanted to know, so I found myself listening harder for clues than I normally do.



                  I loved it entirely as is with on exception, the lick at 17 after "savoir fair". It was well placed and made sense, but it screams Lenny Special to anyone who has heard one of your songs before. I think a real simple solution would be to make the run descending instead. Everything else felt like it fit without calling too much attention to itself outside the framework of the song.
                  Don't listen to Justin.
                  LCK - 2/21/2012

                  Comment


                  • #10






                    Quote Originally Posted by LeonardScaper
                    View Post

                    This song came on suddenly, The lyrics flowed freely and I caught them in a pretty raw form.



                    I worry a bit, though, about the title/hook, even though I may not be able to change it. There are certain....possible implications...to such a title that I would ordinarily wish to avoid. Perhaps there is another way to say this....



                    http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11944626



                    Who is your savior now

                    Here on this island

                    Who is your savior

                    Why are you smiling

                    Who is your savior



                    You've been the rave for years

                    Up in your highlands

                    With all of your savoir faire

                    I see you're still smiling

                    So who is this savior



                    I wonder

                    If you

                    Really

                    Can live without

                    'Cause under

                    All of that peace of mind

                    Thunder rages

                    And there is no doubt

                    Who your savior is



                    Thunder rages

                    Spawned by the wind

                    That turned this page

                    And you know who it is

                    That through the ages

                    Has been your savior

                    So who is your savior now




                    instrumental



                    Here in this cave

                    Here on this island

                    Who is your savior

                    Look at that smile now

                    Such childish behavior

                    Who is your savior




                    check out my stuff http://youtu.be/Buya2j06WwURead your Bible, son. Genesis 6:6, Isiah 55:8, John 14:6

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hmmm.



                      Well... there are so many things I like about it. But some I don't. There are some very cool acoustic guitar rhythm motives that really spark up an interest. But the single note line electric stuff falls into such familiar territory with the same motive you've used in so many songs. I feel I'm lying if I don't mention it. Do you really want that same guitar lick in this song? With that much repetition? Does it really do something to support this melody and lyric? I'm going to say it doesn't. But if it does to you, does it to all the other songs you've used it in? I don't understand that. Why is that motive present in every one of your tunes. When you pull away from it, you're great, in my opinion. It feels a little like self sabotage.



                      And while I really loved a lot of the lyric, I found that the "mystery" was more of just a lack of really understanding what it is you're saying. I get to a degree what is being said, but never the less, walk away as a listener feeling a little betrayed and played.



                      So I'm going to be honest and say that I believe you're falling into a rut here. And it is a bit frustrating for me because I think the fix is so apparent. And necessary. I realize I'm bucking the common vibe but I think it needs to be said. And of course, YMMV.



                      Or not. Cause you know I love ya, Len.
                      __________
                      Your god doesn't exist but my god does and he is all loving. If you disagree with me I'll kill you. - Prince Ea

                      Comment


                      • #12






                        Quote Originally Posted by Lee Knight
                        View Post

                        There are some very cool acoustic guitar rhythm motives ... the same motive you've used in so many songs ... Why is that motive present in every one of your tunes




                        I can see Lee's point of view. Personally, I like the song as is, but I think his advice (despite the misspelling of motif) is something that could bring your work to another level.



                        This is something I have to wrestle with a lot myself, particularly in my lyric writing.
                        "I write from a different place. I do not even know what it is called, or if it has a name. It just comes and I sculpt it. But it is also a lot of hard work." —Van Morrison

                        Comment


                        • #13






                          Quote Originally Posted by LCK
                          View Post

                          I can see Lee's point of view. Personally, I like the song as is, but I think his advice (despite the misspelling of motif) is something that could bring your work to another level.



                          This is something I have to wrestle with a lot myself, particularly in my lyric writing.




                          And I think your post is good except for your mistaken belief that there is only one way to spell motif/motive.



                          "In music, a motif or motive is a short musical idea..."
                          __________
                          Your god doesn't exist but my god does and he is all loving. If you disagree with me I'll kill you. - Prince Ea

                          Comment


                          • #14






                            Quote Originally Posted by Lee Knight
                            View Post

                            And I think your post is good except for your mistaken belief that there is only one way to spell motif/motive.



                            "In music, a motif or motive is a short musical idea..."




                            Okay. My bad. But motif is still the preferred spelling.
                            "I write from a different place. I do not even know what it is called, or if it has a name. It just comes and I sculpt it. But it is also a lot of hard work." —Van Morrison

                            Comment


                            • #15






                              Quote Originally Posted by LCK
                              View Post

                              Okay. My bad. But motif is still the preferred spelling.




                              Preferred by you!!!!
                              __________
                              Your god doesn't exist but my god does and he is all loving. If you disagree with me I'll kill you. - Prince Ea

                              Comment



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