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Can't Turn Around (acoustic with HD video)

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  • Can't Turn Around (acoustic with HD video)

    I don't know where you are

    I hope you're not too far

    I guess the breeze that will blow

    Your tearing spirit to my home

    You are my second part

    Whom belongs my heart

    Who will never fade away

    Cuz love will ever find a way



    I can't turn around

    When I'm sleeping

    In my dreams you are there

    We can touch the sky

    Only breathing

    I can't resist your smile anytime




    When you don't wake up call

    I wish you are alone

    I guess you think about me

    Nothing else does mean a thing

    I don't wanna stand behind

    In shadow of your life

    Where I'm just an empty soul

    Which name you will never know



    I can't turn around

    When I'm sleeping

    In my dreams you are there

    We can touch the sky

    Only breathing

    I can't resist your smile



    I can't turn around

    When I'm sleeping

    In my dreams you are there

    We can touch the sky

    Only breathing

    I can't resist your smile anytime




    You are my second part

    Whom belongs my heart

    Who will never fade away

    Cuz love will ever find a way



    VIDEO IS RIGHT HERE:




    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBGGCsr1T8Y





    Please rate and comment

  • #2
    Hi, Martin. We don't really 'rate' songs here.



    That's for bikini contests, eh?





    What we do do, aside from discussing songwriting techniques and craft in general, is get and give constructive criticism on songwriting/compositional works in progress.



    Please take a look at the Guidelines/Resources sticky thread which you'll find at or near the top of the forum listing if you haven't already (actually, you only really need to read the very first post). That should give you a pretty good idea of how things work here.

    ‚Äč
    music and social stuff

    Comment


    • #3
      You've really got a knack for pop melody!!! Seriously good. Your chords and melody and lyrics too... but... there is an interesting thing going on with your use of the English language. Now, let me say that the fact that you are even writing in a 2nd language is amazing to me. So, I can't even fathom how difficult that must be.



      I guess the breeze that will blow



      That sentence above. The way you place your words on your very good melody have the effect of accenting and bringing focus to words that have less importance. What's the power word in that sentence? "Blow". But you're place the line to accent "that will".



      This happens a bit throughout. I haven't the faintest notion how one goes about learning how to do this in a 2nd language. But you know who are masters at it? ABBA. Really. They get how the language works and use phrases that work. That push and pull in interesting ways.



      I can't turn around

      When I'm sleeping

      In my dreams you are there

      We can touch the sky

      Only breathing

      I can't resist your smile




      Here ^, I'm not really sure what the massage is. It doesn't have a focus. That you can't turn around when you're sleeping? I don't know what that means. You're saying that in your dreams all is well with you two. But it seems to need a catch phrase to hang the concept on. And... what does not being able to turn around have to do with it?



      My thoughts are this makes perfect sense in your language. Maybe a way to utilize this forum to your advantage might be to state what the concept is and then we might give input as to if your phrasing is getting that across?



      Either way, I think you've got a ton of talent. This is really good in a lot of ways.
      __________
      Your god doesn't exist but my god does and he is all loving. If you disagree with me I'll kill you. - Prince Ea

      Comment


      • #4
        +1 everything Lee says. Strong melody, but the lyrics need focus and refinement. Despite feeling it was a tad cliche, I was with you for the first four lines, but "Whom belongs my heart" jarred me in a bad way.
        Don't listen to Justin.
        LCK - 2/21/2012

        Comment



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