Members j0el Posted December 15, 2012 Members Share Posted December 15, 2012 https://soundcloud.com/min1stry/listen let me have it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RickDieffenbach Posted December 15, 2012 Members Share Posted December 15, 2012 Joel, The link does not lead to the song. So based on that, I score the song a big zero. Have the link work, and I'll give it another go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RickDieffenbach Posted December 15, 2012 Members Share Posted December 15, 2012 Joel, The link does not lead to the song. So based on that, I score the song a big zero. Have the link work, and I'll give it another go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted December 15, 2012 Members Share Posted December 15, 2012 Originally Posted by j0el https://soundcloud.com/streamlet me have it What are you looking for? Do you want to workshop the piece or are you just looking for something between a pat on the back and a kick in the pants?Let us know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted December 15, 2012 Members Share Posted December 15, 2012 Hey, Joel. You might try grabbing that link again. It's just a generic stream link at the mo' that will display 'your' (as in 'my' for me) stream on SCloud (which seems to be people I've favorited, or such). I know there's a lot of times in life when I've wanted a pat on the back but needed a kick in the pants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members j0el Posted December 15, 2012 Author Members Share Posted December 15, 2012 sry damn link fixed ... just want the truth .. if its a kick in the balls,, and knock a few teeth out so be it. want to get this song right, need to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted December 16, 2012 Members Share Posted December 16, 2012 Hey, Joel, got it this time! OK... I couldn't make out much of the words -- and generally don't give extended comment on lyrics unless they're listed somewhere, since it's too easy for me to get them wrong.So, let me deal with it as more the whole package, arrangement and even some production elements (though production is sister forum turf; we'll poach )...First, I like the sultry lead vocal. But it needs to be louder. A fair amount. (Although the b/u's could be lower.) Because as it is, it carries a lot of weight. And it's kind of buried. Worse, it's buried in a basic rhythm section that feels squeezed out of a tube. It never varies in dynamic or feel/groove. The piano shreds along, but, like the bass and drums, it just sort of moves in its own, internally busy space from beginning to end -- it seems to lose musical significance quickly because it's full blast all the time (or enough of the time that one tunes it out, a shame). The horns also seem really squeezed down. I hate to say it, but I was kind of wondering if there was a kazoo in there. (Nothing wrong with kazoos, but I'm thinking that's not what you're thinking.)Now, what I see going on here, and this is kind of a mix issue, is that the lead vocal needs to have stuff scooped around it on a dynamic basis, you can probably go a long ways with some creative fader riding, but you're going to have to cut around them, too. I'd suggest a candidate for some serious pruning would be the horns. But you'll still need to find a way to unsqueeze them if possible. Are they keyboard? If so, maybe a new sample. If they're real horns, you may be somewhat stuck but maybe some EQ, maybe even try expansion (so tricky). If this is mostly MIDI, as I suspect, you might even consider some more sample shopping beyond the horns. And, maybe even a little rearranging. There's a static quality here that really undercuts what I think you're looking for. I mean, I think you're not far away from something that could be really rockin' -- but you're not there yet.Just my take, of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted December 16, 2012 Members Share Posted December 16, 2012 I've just listened to the track from beginning to end, and here are my observations: 1. I wouldn't really call it blues, I'd call it 12 bar rock 'n roll. 2. I like the feel of it. I like the female vocal and what it does, but it doesn't feel like a song. Maybe you mean it to be the background music to some tv action. As a song, I'd had enough of its sameness by 1.30, but it just carried on the same way until 2.40. So as a song, I want more variation than what has been delivered. As a soundtrack to the appropriate visual action, it could work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted December 16, 2012 Members Share Posted December 16, 2012 As an addendum to my comments above, I'd suggest creative pruning to build variation between the verses and between verse and turnaround. Lay out on various elements in different sections to build more 'arrangement' into your mix. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members j0el Posted December 16, 2012 Author Members Share Posted December 16, 2012 thank you kindly men.. this is what i wanted and needed.. the only real instrument there is guitars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members j0el Posted December 16, 2012 Author Members Share Posted December 16, 2012 there is no singer i collected a bunch of samples that match kinda and made the song Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted December 16, 2012 Members Share Posted December 16, 2012 You did good. But like most good work, it can be improved on, I think. It can take a while to learn how to make samples and synths sound more like the real thing -- how to program and enhance them by creative mixing. Of course, the last goes for all recordings. Really experienced studio musicians (particularly hired gun pros who move from project to project or the guys in Nashville who can cut a song demo in an hour) have the experience to know how to mix themselves in the studio in ensemble. But those who don't have that long studio experience tend to require more creative mixing and level riding (and often cutting parts out, since less exerienced players often don't know when to lay out or lay back). And, of course, virtual musicians really need your help in the studio. Originally Posted by j0el there is no singer i collected a bunch of samples that match kinda and made the song Ah. That explains a fair amount, particularly about the vocal. Still, singer or sample, by addressing some of the issues above, I feel like you can make this better at what it is. Actually, this could be a pretty good learning project for improving your work in those areas. Like many solo musicians, I've found robots (sequenced synths and samplers) to be a valuable asset in helping me to create recorded versions of my songs. Sometimes you want to embrace their robot-y-ness -- but sometimes you're really trying for a naturalistic sound, and it's there that you either have to be experienced, intuitive, smart, and/or lucky. A little of each probably is best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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