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  • Silly Songs for You

    REVISED SEE POST 21









    Hi - this is a song idea. My main question is this: lyrically, stay in this vein or scrap it?



    Yupper, I am aware of the song "Silly Love Songs"



    Silly Songs for You

    (c)2013 Rick Dieffenbach






    When I'm feeling lonely and don't know what to do

    I take out my guitar and I write a simple tune



    The words I write may make not make sense

    And for that there's is no defense



    All I want to do is sing my silly songs for you



    CHORUS:

    Silly songs for you

    I promise everyone is true

    Won't you'll hum along

    To my silly songs

    with me



    And 'tho someday I know

    my silly songs will go

    They'll fade away with me

    Like waves on the sea

    My silly songs and me

    My silly songs part of me
    www.rickdieffenbach.com.

  • #2
    Hi Rick... I really like the lyrics. I know it's just a demo, but from a production standpoint, I think this would be better as a stripped back production... no drums, maybe some quirky instrumentation. Something about the drums you're using make it sound too processed...



    And a suggestion:



    The words I write may not make sense

    Silliness is my defense

    Comment


    • #3






      Quote Originally Posted by bee3
      View Post

      Hi Rick... I really like the lyrics. I know it's just a demo, but from a production standpoint, I think this would be better as a stripped back production... no drums, maybe some quirky instrumentation. Something about the drums you're using make it sound too processed...



      And a suggestion:



      The words I write may not make sense

      Silliness is my defense




      Thanks for your suggestion Bee.. I'll take it. Perfect. Agree on the production comment. I am writing the song for this month's 1+1 contest on the MUSE board, so it will actually be just the guitar and one vocal. But for the demo I was just playing around. You are spot on about the drums, etc. And I just am in love with my Hofner bass... so had to play that. But it will be just the guitar when all said and done.



      Rick
      www.rickdieffenbach.com.

      Comment


      • #4






        Quote Originally Posted by RickDieffenbach
        View Post

        Thanks for your suggestion Bee.. I'll take it. Perfect. Agree on the production comment. I am writing the song for this month's 1+1 contest on the MUSE board, so it will actually be just the guitar and one vocal. But for the demo I was just playing around. You are spot on about the drums, etc. And I just am in love with my Hofner bass... so had to play that. But it will be just the guitar when all said and done.



        Rick




        Do you play it left handed?

        Comment


        • #5






          Bee - I shut off the drum, and just let the bass line carry it for the verses... I like it. Thanks for mentioning the drums.
          www.rickdieffenbach.com.

          Comment


          • #6
            Nice tune!
            “Good Vibrations” was probably a good record but who's to know? You had to play it about 90 bloody times to even hear what they were singing about. What’s next? Rock opera? —Pete Townshend, Melody Maker Interview, 1966.

            Comment


            • #7






              Quote Originally Posted by RickDieffenbach
              View Post







              Bee - I shut off the drum, and just let the bass line carry it for the verses... I like it. Thanks for mentioning the drums.




              Nice... post it up.

              Comment


              • #8






                Quote Originally Posted by bee3
                View Post

                Nice... post it up.




                I did... you should not hear any drums. Your browser may have it cached???



                Here is the direct mp3
                www.rickdieffenbach.com.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Much better!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Like the melody, it's kinda cute and twee.







                    When I'm feeling lonely and don't know what to do

                    I take out my guitar ( < I'd change that somehow) and I write a simple tune



                    The words I write may make not make sense

                    And for that there's is no defense



                    All I want to do is sing my silly songs for you



                    CHORUS:

                    Silly songs for you

                    I promise everyone is true (< this means holds no meaning and feels forced/ cliche. I dunno whether it's intentional, but I'd change it)

                    Won't you'll hum along

                    To my silly songs

                    with me



                    And 'tho someday I know

                    my silly songs will go

                    They'll fade away with me (It'd be nice to have this idea expanded or emphasized a bit more)

                    Like waves on the sea

                    My silly songs and me

                    My silly songs part of me
                    I'm a sharpened flat - I'm a natural.







                    Originally Posted by bloodxandxrank


                    ... If all else fails make the guitarist do it.....



                    ^On the matter of learning harsh vocals.^








                    Originally Posted by wrongnote85


                    They wont go away, they'll just start making dubstep.



                    ^On whether the '-core' bands will ever go away^

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      LORDBTY - great suggestions. Good ideas. All 3 delt with. The third, fade, is now answered in the last verse. 'appreciate your ideas!!!



                      The recording has not been redone, but here are the new lyrics, now with the ending verse and a partial replay of the chorus:





                      V1:When I'm feeling lonely and don't know what to do

                      I play this old guitar and write a simple tune



                      The words I write may make not make sense

                      Even though I tried my best



                      As a serious songwriter some have said I failed the test





                      CHORUS:

                      Silly songs for you

                      They're all I can do

                      So won't you hum along

                      To my silly songs

                      with me



                      And 'tho someday I know

                      my songs will go

                      and fade away with me

                      Like waves on the sea

                      My silly songs and me

                      My silly songs part of me





                      V2:One day in the future when my hair is old and gray

                      I'll give this guitar to someone who wants to play



                      The words he writes may make not make sense

                      Even though he tried his best



                      As a serious songwriter they'll say he failed the test



                      PARTIAL CHORUS:

                      Silly songs for you

                      They're all he can do

                      Won't you hum along

                      To his silly songs



                      (end)
                      www.rickdieffenbach.com.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I'm not engaged by this song because it doesn't deliver any silliness.

                        I felt set up and expectant for some silly content, but was only told that you like writing and singing silly songs for someone else.



                        Do you get what I'm saying? I think you need to be playful - not simply reporting on your writing and singing activities.
                        'Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn'.
                        CHARLIE PARKER

                        Comment


                        • #13






                          Quote Originally Posted by oldgitplayer
                          View Post

                          I'm not engaged by this song because it doesn't deliver any silliness.

                          I felt set up and expectant for some silly content, but was only told that you like writing and singing silly songs for someone else.



                          Do you get what I'm saying? I think you need to be playful - not simply reporting on your writing and singing activities.




                          Thanks, but your post points out a larger issue. I don't want this to be a silly song. It's not suppose to be a comedy song. It's suppose to be about an amateur songwriter commenting on his songs as being (taken) somewhat non-serious, even though he may want to be a serious writer. So, it's about the singer realizing his lot in life, his limitations, living with it, and thinking "that's not so bad after all", and moving on. That you thought it was intended as a silly song (comedic song) in the literal sense is a problem I need to think about.



                          ADDENDUM: The last lyrics I posted are being changed to reduce the chance of a comedic interpretation
                          www.rickdieffenbach.com.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            OK - I definitely didn't get any of the meaning that you have just described.

                            I see now that you want the character to be 'a serious writer. Serious writer. Seeeriouuus wriiiiter'. 'Hey old man, won't you hear my song, it took me days to write, won't you sing along'. Based on a ballad by a man named Paul, Just open your ears and I'll thrill you all........'



                            But I didn't anticipate a 'comedy' song with funny stuff that raises a laugh, I expected a bit of lightheartedness.

                            For example.....'Who's that knocking at the door - open the door and let em in'.



                            Anyway - over to you.......
                            'Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn'.
                            CHARLIE PARKER

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              GIT, thanks.



                              So, there is a new demo. And it is shorter.



                              Silly Songs For You

                              (c)2013 Rick Dieffenbach




                              V1:When I'm feeling lonely and don't know what to do

                              I play this old guitar and write a simple tune



                              The words I write may make not make sense

                              Even though I've tried my best



                              As a serious songwriter some said I failed the test





                              CHORUS:

                              Silly songs for you

                              They're all that I can do

                              So won't you hum along

                              To my silly songs

                              with me



                              And 'tho someday I know

                              my silly songs will go

                              and fade away with me

                              Like waves on the sea

                              Silly songs and me

                              My silly songs part of me
                              www.rickdieffenbach.com.

                              Comment













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